My husband just slammed a door on me repeatedly

[WhatTheChuffJustHappened]

Trapping my wrist, bruising and cutting it.
In front of the kids no less.

H and I have been together for 21 years, he's never raised a hand to me or even come close.

We moved out of our house into a tiny gritty nasty flat while we buy a house. No one wanted to, we all hate it but a long boring back story means we have no choice.

DH is a miserable arsehole every Sunday. I don't know why but he is, he speaks to us all like shit until the afternoon when nice DH comes out.
We're all sick of it. Knowing we were going to be in a tiny flat this weekend I offered for him to stay at hotel, I would pay, we all get a break.
He said he would stay at a friends tonight.

Instead he has extended his Sunday arseholeness to Saturdays.

We had a minor dispute about some medicine while he was holding the baby.

He then flipped out and slammed the kitchen door in my face - literally. I tried coming out and he kept slamming it shut, catching my wrist and slamming it again still.

I got out and I try getting the baby off him but he's pushing me, hard. I start to panic as he's holding the baby and I hit his arm. He then puts the baby in the sofa but towers over him so I can't pick him up.

I'm panicking and shouting at him to give me the baby and get out.
I pick up the remote control and hit him on the back repeatedly until he gets away from
The baby.

I pick the baby up and tell him to get out. My voice is shaking and he mocks it.

He eventually agrees to go after a torrent of lies.
He said he slammed the kitchen door because I started hitting him. That all this was because I kicked his clothes this morning (I did neither, there were no clothes and I was putting meds back in the fridge when he slammed the door, fridge and door directly next door to each other) he shouts that it's all my fault that he is the way he is.

I say fine, it's all my fault, I tried to fix that by giving him us a break in a hotel. But now he's still like this.

He took my door key so I couldn't lock him out.
To said I would take the kids to a hotel and he chucked the key back

I've now locked him out.

Fuck sake.

@RolytheRhino great find, that’s everything I wanted to say and more

How dare you not call the police

Yeah Cos that's helpful

Some great encouraging posts from people on here. Other people have contributed to scaring her off and upon reflection should be ashamed of themselves.

OP - I hope you're still on here 🙂
I'm glad you've spoken to your Mum and you're not dealing with this alone. You obviously need some time to think this through, but do not let him back into your home in the meantime. He took 10K out of the bank a/c as he's only thinking about himself, not you and your children. I think you know that playing the long game is not a realistic option for you or your children. Contact Women's Aid, Housing department at your local council, Citizen's Advice Bureau (CAB), etc so you can get some proper advice and help with your living situation (emergency housing, a women's refuge). We are lucky to live in a country where people with children will not be left destitute on the streets. I know you are reluctant to contact the Police, but from my experience the various agencies I listed above cannot proceed in the best interests of you and your children without Police Reports, Affidavits, etc.
I assume his name is on the tenancy agreement.
Going forward - I know it's very difficult especially after having children, but ALL women (married or not) need to keep their independence (jobs, separate bank &/or savings accounts) so you:
a. have your own sanity, peace of mind, and autonomy in life to continue to achieve your own dreams.
b. have your own money and can make your own choices about the next step in your life, should something like this happen.

We stayed in a women's refuge for several months before my Mother brought a house. Fortunately, my Mother had always worked so was able to do this. My Mother gave up expecting any money from my Father after the first few months and in most cases, it's not worth the hassle and stress. And why bother with the drama if you can support yourself and your kids yourself.
I wish you all the best in becoming free one day soon x

Please get advice from Women's Aid, WhatThe Chuff.

When my ex first hit me I never thought he'd do it again or then go on to try to kill me. It happens and you never think it would happen to you.
I was lucky and not everyone is.
It's easy to say go to the police but less easy to do. Just make sure he doesn't get there first as they like to abuse via the legal system too.

I’ve seen posters hounded off their own threads time and time again by aggressive ‘tough talking’ posts. It’s doesn’t work, it just makes them feel more attacked. It’s a horrible culture that has developed here.

I'm sorry for what you are going through OP. It looks like he may pull out of the house purchase. He will be aware how desperate you are to move and may use it as a ploy to control you. I do understand your logic about just getting a roof over your head and then dealing with him later. I'm sorry I don't have much to add except that I grew up in this type of environment and my mother always dragged out the decision, just until we get the house, just until x finishes school, just until, just until. She never left but each of her children did as soon as they could. Unfortunately, I think you have to deal with this now. You are not playing the long game. He knows your dance moves. You are just playing the mugs game. 21 years, children and never a home in your name. Sorry OP. I don't want to be harsh but think of your children.

Also OP unlike a lot of posters I do think you should get the house so that you can move if your H hasn't backed out but please deal with him then.

Let us all know you are okay, I hope you have got help with this and are safe 💐x

@WhatTheChuffJustHappened How're you doing? Hugs and thinking of you. xxx

Hope you are ok

It’s not about you it’s about any children you have they come first not whether or not you can handle it or live with it it’s not a choice you should make for you but need to do what’s best for the kids regardless