Dating thread 172: from developing a rhino hind to finding love in the unusual places...the rollercoaster of dating!

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

Gosh just read that back @Peanuthedz and I didn’t mean to sound so brusque! I really do hope you’re ok and we’re all here to listen whenever you need to vent; sometimes it’s good just to let all the pain out for even a few minutes.

Be the thread, breath the thread....you are the thread

Just had a hilarious misunderstanding via text that has led to Mr C worrying he's damaged our relationship due to my reaction to a discussion about polygamy

No that sums it up succinctly @FMFL
It's devastating. I'll get over it. Roll on February.

@Peanuthedz take care of yourself; easier said than done when the pain is basically physical.

@SBD1 no it's entirely personal to me. I feel I'm treating you like my daughter and worrying about you. So it's not a criticism of any type. Just I've recognised it's best for me.

Oh @Peanuthedz, I've been there with the crying in lectures thing. Or desperately trying not to cry and it being obvious to anyone with eyes that's what's happening. Sometimes it's so hard to hold it all together.

Be kind to yourself. If you weren't a London-based, Guardian reading, middle class leftie, I'd cycle over to you with some wine. Lots of it.

@SBD1 I think a lot of us reacted to your contraception post in similar ways. I think, in this warm and fuzzy, early loved up phase it's so easy to get caught up and not think as much as you might usually.

MrSG and I are at the making talking babies stage. But we're also at the tying yourselves together financially for the next quarter century and asking for ring sizes stage. I knew I loved him very early on and 'just knew' but being a bit more cautious to protect ourselves (and the kids) has been important.

I am really pleased you're happy. You deserve that. So much. I want that to continue.

For those that care, apparently I'm an I size. So it sounds like my fingers were designed by apple.

I think it's also a kind of car seat system for infants.

Just checking in and i have laughed and sighed at a few posts.

@Peanuthedz hope you are ok. Keep talking to us here and we will help you through. 😘

@SBD1you are vulnerable, you've been raped 3 times and not open to discussing this. It's lovely that you have a found a great guy because you deserve that. But I do agree with @Notcoolmum some of your posts make me cringe with fear. (For you mainly) I worry you are massively over investing within 2 months. I love you's, talking about children. Telling your son, not using protection, your kidney infections etc etc. But like @Notcoolmum I'm going to take a step backing your posts.

@FMFL your date sounded good, have you heard from him yet? Did he text after the date

@notcoolmum Just to let you know, I have appreciated the advice I might not always seem like it but it just takes me a while to digest it and get over whatever my initial reaction is. I honestly sometimes don't think I have the brain of a 30 year old, I can react to things in quite a juvenile way. I understand your perspective on whats best for you.

I should be wise and grounded having gone through "stuff" but I'm just not THAT grown up. I run my household, I parent ok but I definitely approach love etc with the mindset of a besotted 18 year old. Which was probably evident in the contraceptive post @woomawang. At the same time I wasn't like this with my ex at the start, it seems pretty exclusive to Mr C.

To clarify though, the baby conversation wasn't - we want babies. It was - this is a new relationship and it would be preferable if we DIDN'T have babies. He suggested the coil because he knew I had supposed to have it and because I mentioned the failure rate on the pill. So really it was just a good discussion for us to have. He wanted to know what I would do if I fell pregnant and I said no to abortion, so we were just working out where we stood.

Oh also....we talked about DS. I said I had talked to some "friends" (rather than outing my Mumsnet posting) about how its too soon and he understands that we're going to wait a bit longer etc

@SBD1 Failure rate on the pill? Isn't it like 99%+ effective?

@supercali77 I take the minipill (cerelle) and I think its failure rate is a bit higher than the combined?

@supercali77 99.7% effective actually 😉

Mini pill is 99% effective

huh weird, I read somewhere 13 in 100 woman who take it fall pregnant

No idea where I read that though

I have a coil. Love it. Don't have periods. Don't have to think about taking anything. Although it probably has made me more lax than I should have been about unprotected sex as I couldn't get pregnant when obvs there is more to worry about.

I'm far too old to get pregnant again!! Mr B did ask me the other day if I wanted any more kids. I did burst out laughing and remind him of my advanced age!!

I use the implant. It's perfect for me, some get no periods on it and some just the same as norm.

Lasts either 2 or 3 years depending on what you have.

I am supposed to be having the Mirena? I can't remember if thats the right name.

I never know if I want more children in the future. DS is a really good boy but its hard work and I think I don't need another child, if he grows up to be a well rounded man I'll be happy.

I have the mirena. It lasts 5 years but you can have it taken out if you want to get pregnant.

The pill's effectiveness is reduced by people
Not taking it regularly. Being ill when on it etc.

So who has dates this weekend? Any first dates?

@SBD1 how long have you been on Cerelle? With the mini pill it's still 1% of women over the course of a year who take it that can get pregnant if taken properly However, you only have an error margin of a couple of hours and it's every day right? I can't even go to the loo regularly, the combined pill is more forgiving

2 months so not long. It has a 3 hour error margin and I usually take it around 12pm, today I took it at 2pm but usually its the same time each day.

I can't have the combined pill as they didn't want to put more estrogen into me due to hair issues since losing weight. It would counteract my face lasering!

Definitely going to get the mirena, if it reduces my periods that would be great.

Am thinking of getting the mirena to banish periods

@SBD1 It should reduce periods. Seems to work that way for most women I know with it

I'm on the mini pill too. I had the copper coil when I was married and then had it removed when my ex had the snip.

I have been getting a bit of spotting and am not loving the 3 hour window of the mini pill so am going to the docs in a couple of weeks to see about going on a different one.
I'd consider a Mirena coil but I found it so painful when I had my last coil fitted that I don't know if I can bear it. I also worry about side effects with it being hormonal (the copper coil has no hormones).

Just waiting for Mr Ad's blood test results to come back before we can ditch the condoms. His other ones have come back clear and I've had the all clear too.

@Sunshineandflipflops I had my mirena remover and fitted by he local sexual health clinic. They gave me localised anaesthetic and used an ultrasound. It was a million miles away from having it done at the GPS. And as I'm so old I can keep this one in until 55 so likely to see me to the menopause.

Thanks @Notcoolmum. Any side effects?