To come home and find...

[sashadik]

NC...you never know who's watching

Been with DP for about a year, not long I know but things have been good and we've moved it along. I'm well aware of his habits when it comes to relieving himself and to be honest I've always been fine about it, it's his private time and what he does with that time is his business within reason of course. Sometimes he's been know to take a viagra for a bit of fun when we have sex plus our sex life is pretty good and very regular. My thing is recently I've noticed he has some viagra and they kind of went missing, I believe he has just moved them so I don't see that they are being used when I'm not around. But today, after he had spent the day at home and I at work, I got in, see to my DC and then went upstairs to get cups etc. I noticed some white chalky stuff on the bedside drawers, didn't think too much of it but then moved his trousers and well, half a viagra dropped out of his work trousers. So clearly the white chalk was in fact where he'd cut the tablet in half. I'm usually pretty easygoing when it comes to wanking and watching porn but today, after finding that and knowing it's not the first time I'm struggling with something and I can't quite place what it is that isn't sitting right with me. Not to mention I just have this image of him whacking off all day and really preparing for the moment whilst doing fuck all else around the house which is in fact quite a mess. Of course, I did't mention anything to him but I certainly made him know that I was upset about something. I don't really know what I want from this post so any views will be well received.

That’s a tricky one. I’ve not heard of viagra being used for wanking. Is he just using porn or something more interactive?

Definitely porn. We've spoken about cam girls in the past and he promises (I know I know) he's not using them. I said that's just a no from me.

So he lives with you?

So he’s at home all day. Was he taking care of your child?
You let him know you’re upset but don’t tell him why.
You’ve told him you don’t want him watching porn/cams.
So what are you going to do?

He does live with me. I know it was definitely used for knocking one (or maybe 10) out.

I would be pissed off he had left pills around when you have dc....

Wildorchids,

He wasn't taking care of my child but he did pick child up later. It made me go into myself when I'd realised, I tried axing normal but it didn't work well. I've never told him not to watch porn as porn doesn't bother me but the interaction of cam girls definitely does bother me.
What the can I do?? I've spoken to him about things before in lighthearted conversations and he's denied ever taking viagra alone and said he would not use cam girls...he's lied about the viagra so I'm not going to hold my breath he's not lying about the latter.

Well after a year I think you are now getting a glimpse of the real him

Ask yourself, is this the kind of life you want? Second guessing him and coming home to a messy house he’s had all day to address?

I’d be ending this relationship.

I wouldn’t like the thought of him wanting all day when the house is in a mess and then he is in charge of your daughter. Is he working?

I wouldn't like to come home to a wank parlour whether it was messy or not. You know he's been watching porn and possibly (probably) paying for cam girls to perform for him while he jerks one out. He's acting like a single man who has no respect for women - especially you.

Ohhhhh 'ick!
So he wanks for hours a day in your house!?
I'd not be happy about this either.
It's all too much.
A quick look at porn and crack one out every now and then OK.
But this is taking it too far.
Do you want this man as the male role model your DC look to?
I know what I'd do!
What does he do for work?

He works, and his job can be quite stressful but it's not high powered. I couldn't say what he does as it could be outing.

In all honesty my thought wouldn't have been "he must be using this for porn", I'd have been worried that he was using the viagra to be with someone else. Either an affair or paying for sex. Was he definitely at home all day and definitely alone?

Sounds like things have moved far too quickly if he is already living in your house with your children. Maybe take a few steps back and reassess the situation.

NameChange84 - I also found the evidence of the clean up operation which again wasn't exactly discreet. I believe in my heart of hearts he is not cheating.

Ignoring everything else, He was home all day and not only did he not to some basic cleaning and tidying, he actually made more mess. He sees the housework as your work. Is that good enough?

This is the beginning of the end tbh.
Your pretty early in the relationship and its not looking good. Personally he would be gone.hes very disrespectful to you.
Also, leaving Viagra lying around is beyond stupid,your dc could have easily found it and then what ?.

I had an ex who was obsessed with masturbation and porn. It became an issue, he became an ex. If it’s a big part of his life now it will affect you in the long run.

And I know it’s your life and your own business but for your child’s sake don’t be a person who brings a succession of useless men into your home..

Not to defend it but the pill was in his trousers so dc wouldn't have found it...that would definitely have been a different outcome for the evening.

Wildorchidz, it is his home however I n ow what you're saying. I don't just allow anyone into my child's life believe me.

Ewwwwwww. That set up sounds grim as fuck.

OP... is this what you want?

Wait, you moved your child into a man’s house after than a year of knowing him? Wtf?