To come home and find...

[sashadik]

NC...you never know who's watching

Been with DP for about a year, not long I know but things have been good and we've moved it along. I'm well aware of his habits when it comes to relieving himself and to be honest I've always been fine about it, it's his private time and what he does with that time is his business within reason of course. Sometimes he's been know to take a viagra for a bit of fun when we have sex plus our sex life is pretty good and very regular. My thing is recently I've noticed he has some viagra and they kind of went missing, I believe he has just moved them so I don't see that they are being used when I'm not around. But today, after he had spent the day at home and I at work, I got in, see to my DC and then went upstairs to get cups etc. I noticed some white chalky stuff on the bedside drawers, didn't think too much of it but then moved his trousers and well, half a viagra dropped out of his work trousers. So clearly the white chalk was in fact where he'd cut the tablet in half. I'm usually pretty easygoing when it comes to wanking and watching porn but today, after finding that and knowing it's not the first time I'm struggling with something and I can't quite place what it is that isn't sitting right with me. Not to mention I just have this image of him whacking off all day and really preparing for the moment whilst doing fuck all else around the house which is in fact quite a mess. Of course, I did't mention anything to him but I certainly made him know that I was upset about something. I don't really know what I want from this post so any views will be well received.

Natasha, you have no idea how much thought I put into moving myself and my child into his...I can assure you that I thought long and hard about it.

He's is winning at life isn't he!

Got someone to move in, take over a load of the domestic chores and presumably spilt the bills, gets to take viagra, wank all day to porn and cam girls and someobdoy even cleans up after that.

What a catch!

OP here's my read on it.

I've no issues with wanking, do it myself, so doesn't himself.

But Viagra for a wank? The only reason I can think to take it is if you're 'performing', 'impressing' with your hard-on, ie for cam sex.

Most people I imagine want a quick relief, not some monumental hour long wank. So why the viagra.. it doesn't make sense.

He spends hours wanking in your house?! Cant he be normal and toss off quickly in ten minutes and get a nice hobby instead?!

Ahnowted

Jesus, that hit me hard (no pun intended). This is my fear.

Why did you move into his place rather than he move into yours?

I was renting and he owns

@sashadik sorry but yeah i just don't think you take viagra for your run of the mill everyday wank.

You said he's no problem maintaining an erection, so no, it doesn't make sense.

Maybe some people do need to calm down, but you posted here. You've got to be able to take what people say.

What's the point in getting so defensive when you're the one who posted with a problem?🤔

For the record, I am not intending on moving myself or my child out of the house therefore the comments regarding this I'm finding pretty irrelevant. My child is safe, loved and happy.

So when you realise that he is using cams you’ll stay??

"So why the viagra.. it doesn't make sense."

I think that that is what a lot of people are wondering.

It comes down to this:
I'm struggling with something and I can't quite place what it is that isn't sitting right with me.

The Relationships motto (or one of them) is trust your instincts.

Many of us have under-reacted to our detriment.

We want us to calm down that niggling feeling you're having.
We don't know you or him, and are not in the situation.
My question is: is it a good idea to shut up your instincts on this?

He has no ED problems but takes Viagra? Does he buy it online?

I don't see a problem with a man having a wank at home on his own. I wouldnt have been picking up his tissues though.

The half a viagra is a bit odd but maybe he likes having a better (harder/bigger maybe?) erection. Maybe it boosts his self esteem and makes him feel a bit more of a stallion? I cant be the only one thats put on some nice undies or a push up bra to make a bit of self pleasure into more of an event? Maybe im a total weirdo though, happy to be told i am!

Nottodaysatanokease

I didn't feel as though I was getting particularly defensive. I haven't taken too kindly to people saying I've been selfish with regards to my child. Its an unnecessary comment and as has been said, no one actually knows how much thought and discussion went into the decision to move, so for me it's a moot point.

Wildorchidz

I'm going to stick with my possibly deluded or I'd like to think more optimistic 'if' and not 'when'

Lweji

You have given me some food for thought, I definitely won't be ignoring them completely and I will no doubt bring this up with him at some point.

Mumofjustboys

Stallion 💪🏼😂😂 - thank you for that.

And no, not weird at all

I wish special 👙 for all of us.

@sashadik I understand that, but you know people are going to tell you different things and tell you you're stupid for not leaving.

Take it in your stride I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️

But I wouldn't personally ignore what's happened. I'd say live weary.

@sashadik I understand that, but you know people are going to tell you different things and tell you you're stupid for not leaving.

Take it in your stride I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️

But I wouldn't personally ignore what's happened. I'd say be weary. *

I wonder if he's actually doing viagra or some other drug? High pressure job maybe needs a little excitement? Wouldn't be the first or last man who did,however what exactly are you posting for if you have no plans to move yourself and child out of the home? Venting? Seeking validation? Whatever it is you're the parent and random remains of a medication like viagra laying around could be a very different ending for the child.

Poor guy just wanted a wank i dont see the issue here? He was at home alone probably bored and fancied one..two or more not sure how this makes him a druggie,cheat or porn addict 🙄 he might be having issues getting it up all the time even for a wank and might just not be telling you. If hes watching cam girls behind your back then i agree thats a deal breaker for me but this might not be the case. With regards to you living with him with your DC thats your business i wouldn't listen to anyone else's opinion. Yes you have a child but i think a year is fine some parents wait alot less! Have a chat with him express your worrys and if he acts a dick then he got something to hide.. sometimes our worries and suspicions run away with us!

Poor guy just wanted a wank i dont see the issue here?

Poor guy indeed 🙄
Nobody has said that he should wank. But taking Viagra to impress cam girls and indulging in a day long wank-fest without even cleaning up after himself properly is just fucking grim.
Standards? What are those?

There's no proof hes watching cam girls..oh the joy of mumsnet no innocent till proven guilty here! All men are just vile porn/sex addicts that must be taking drugs and having affairs 🙄