Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He hasn't spoke ...would yo bother texting him?

145 replies

sunshineonarsinyday · 09/10/2019 18:20

Guy I'm seeing it's always on his terms.
When he wants to chat I drop everything and I'm there.
Last week he was really chatty this week it's like I'm constantly chasing him to talk.
Today he didn't say a word so I text him at 4pm and he gave me two word replies so I jokingly said "ha ha man of many words"
He replied ..my battery is really low and work is manic ..
I replied .."oh no hope it flys over "
He read and didn't reply
(Has been on WhatsApp all the time so clearly not that manic )
What was his excuse yesterday and Monday.
Basically it's me most of the time initiating conversation
He finishes work at 7
Would you text again later ?
Or wait for him to text me now?

OP posts:
Goawayquickly · 09/10/2019 18:23

He doesn't sound very interested in you. No, I wouldn't text him. It can only be on his terms if you allow it. Set your own terms

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/10/2019 18:25

No. He’s not that into you.

Srictlybakeoff · 09/10/2019 18:25

Don’t text him , and make yourself unavailable next time he wants to chat.

PillarOfSalt · 09/10/2019 18:25

I wouldn’t trust WhatsApp. Dh’s constantly says he’s online when he’s not (he’s shown me and it’s definitely true).

Some people just don’t like messaging and prefer face to face contact. If he’s good when you’re together and reliable then I wouldn’t worry. If he’s not then bin him off, not worth the worry.

Original poster
sunshineonarsinyday · 09/10/2019 18:27

All weekend he was messaging lots...he text me all day Saturday and sunday.
Initiating conversation and then he's on his quiet spell now.
Sometimes I think he must talk to a few girls and it's whoever gets his attention that day.

OP posts:
Equalityumber · 09/10/2019 18:32

Raise your standards and dump this guy.

Original poster
sunshineonarsinyday · 09/10/2019 18:39

It makes me feel shitty when we have days Like this.
I feel invisible today

OP posts:
forumdonkey · 09/10/2019 18:42

Do you ever see him?

ODFOx · 09/10/2019 18:43

Why would he message you when he's at work?
Wait until he's home and stop chasing when he's busy! I would ignore chatty texts from DH when I'm working. It's not the time.

Chloemol · 09/10/2019 18:44

Don’t text him

SevenStones · 09/10/2019 18:45

Don't text him.

Make it on your terms for a change. Don't go running next time he wants to see you.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/10/2019 18:46

When he wants to chat I drop everything and I'm there

Well stop that for a start.

Icantbelieveitsnotnutter · 09/10/2019 18:50

Let him chase you Wink

Glitterb · 09/10/2019 18:51

Do you ever see each other or is this a new relationship which is mainly text?

I would take a step back, often relationships like this fizzle out

DarkNightDelight · 09/10/2019 18:51

Sounds like he's not that into you, I'd take a step back. It's very unhealthy that it's making you feel like this.
Remember who you are and don't give anyone permission to make you feel invisible x

Original poster
sunshineonarsinyday · 09/10/2019 18:53

We've seen each about 8 times so far.
It's just the inconsistency that gets me.
I never know which day it's going to be.
Last night he messaged quite a bit but today I might as well be invisible to him.

OP posts:
Original poster
sunshineonarsinyday · 09/10/2019 18:53

I try and think of funny things to chat about and today nothing.
He didn't start work till 11 and still not even a text.

OP posts:
CarolDanvers · 09/10/2019 18:54

He messages you when he hasn't got anything better to do, simple as that. I'm not being mean, I have been on the receiving end of this too.

tinyvulture · 09/10/2019 18:56

It could be a sign he isn’t that in to you. Or it may be that he just doesn’t think about messaging in the same way, and is comfortable with longer gaps. Could you bring it up next time you see him? If other things are good, it’s a shame to bin him off over this. Your call, tho. If you think this is likely to do your head in going forwards, maybe better to bin him off before you get in too deep?

MarianaMoatedGrange · 09/10/2019 19:00

I wouldn’t trust WhatsApp. Dh’s constantly says he’s online when he’s not (he’s shown me and it’s definitely true)

Really? I've never known about that. How can it show you online when you're not?

OP leave him to contact you, and keep it short if you chat. Don't drop everything like you've been doing.

Original poster
sunshineonarsinyday · 09/10/2019 19:04

I'm deffo not going to text him tonight or I will desperate.
He already loves the fact I'm so into him.
It's going to be hard not to text him.

OP posts:
FredaFox · 09/10/2019 19:07

My gut says he’s just not that into you but I’d also say he’s at work, leave him alone, I can’t always reply to friends as I’m busy and it drives me mad that they get impatient and chase me for a reply

squiglet111 · 09/10/2019 19:10

Maybe he actually is really busy? He texts you in evening and weekend when not at work, so clearly when at work he's too busy to text. So stop over thinking it and wait for him to text. He already told you he was busy... Do you not believe him?

pinkyredrose · 09/10/2019 19:11

Why do you drop everything for him? Maybe he enjoys keeping you dangling.

Savingforarainyday · 09/10/2019 19:12

He already loves the fact I'm so into him

Surely a decent guy wouldn't get off on that?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.