He hasn't spoke ...would yo bother texting him?

[sunshineonarsinyday]

Guy I'm seeing it's always on his terms.
When he wants to chat I drop everything and I'm there.
Last week he was really chatty this week it's like I'm constantly chasing him to talk.
Today he didn't say a word so I text him at 4pm and he gave me two word replies so I jokingly said "ha ha man of many words"
He replied ..my battery is really low and work is manic ..
I replied .."oh no hope it flys over "
He read and didn't reply
(Has been on WhatsApp all the time so clearly not that manic )
What was his excuse yesterday and Monday.
Basically it's me most of the time initiating conversation
He finishes work at 7
Would you text again later ?
Or wait for him to text me now?

@squiglet111 maybe I am over thinking,he actually sent me a screenshot of his low battery too.
I just like the days when I get a early morning text or something so I know he's thinking of me.

Well not drop everything but when he texts I reply straight away and keep the conversation going.
If he texts wanting to chat then I chat but days like today when I wanted a chat and he didn't ..I was ignored

I had someone who was all or nothing too, turns out he had a wife and kids and messaged me as soon as he was out of the house and told her he was going and staying over at a mates so as not to disturb them when seeing me 🙄

Move on.

www.amazon.co.uk/Hes-Just-Not-That-Into/dp/0007431856?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

You need to read this, it changed the way I did online dating

My ex was like that when we started dating. It was amazing when we met but in between there was barely any communication. I had a convo with him about it and told him we should stop seeing each other. He didn't want that and then changed a bit but still didn't fully commit. A few months later I found out he was seeing other people during that time. There's always a reason why there's inconsistency

Do you think I should ask if everything is ok?
Or if I've done something wrong?

Me personally I wouldn't. Next time he text I wouldn't bother replying to that either. See how much of an effort hes willing to put in to talk to you cos I pretty much guarantee it will be next to none

Please don't keep chasing him. Like pp I dated someone like this, hot and cold, inconsistent messaging. Also turned out he was seeing others and then he dumped me!

It should be easy with no guessing or games. He doesn't sound interested so I would leave it and find someone worthy of you

Step away from the phone!

Do not text him

”Do you think I should ask if everything is ok?
Or if I've done something wrong?“

Nooo! You need to listen to what everyone is telling you. If he liked you, he’d be making every effort to contact you. Sorry, but don’t waste any more energy on this guy.

How busy and sociable is your life OP? Forget this one, but in order to be less available for the next one, I recommend becoming genuinely less available because you have lots of plans and no time to text. Whatever would enhance your life; evening classes, the gym, walking a dog, running, yoga, out with friends...

One of my friends is currently working in a remote part of Iceland at the moment, no wifi, lots of interesting people in her team, including sporty, adventuous males. She was online dating and I bet her 'appeal' went up just because she's out there living life and taking all opportunities.

Do you think the days he doesn't really speak are the days he is chatting to someone else?
That would make sense wouldn't it.

Do you think I should ask if everything is ok?
Or if I've done something wrong?

No, hundred times no!

In the nicest possible way, you need to back off. Give him some time to miss you. Put him out of your head and get busy doing something else - clean the house, read a book, sort your wardrobe out, do a tax return, learn to crochet, binge watch something on Netflix but do not message him again. He knows where you are. If he's interested he will do the chasing - it's not a popular school of thought on here but irl it's been my experience that men can sense desperate women and love the ego boost it gives them, dangling you on a string and being generally breadcrumbing you. Act like you couldn't give a fuck, be busy getting on with life, seeing friends/doing hobbies/work and he'll probably come running. If he doesn't, meh 🤷‍♀️, move on knowing he wasn't the one for you.

Did you meet him online?

Why so text obsessed? You even said he texted you a lot at the weekend. So what, he skips a few days and suddenly he's 'not that into you?' Come on ffs. Maybe he wants a day of peace to himself. Or maybe, mad thought here, maybe his phone is low on battery like he said and - screenshotted to you. Why would he even feel theneed to screenshot that to you? Have you been creepily over the top paranoid in other ways?

I don't know if he is a keeper. I font know if he is that into you. I do however know that you should be able to go a few days without hearing from someone without freaking out.

Work on your self confidence. Why do you think you've done something wrong because some guy you've only seen 8 times doesnt instantly reply to your texts. How old are you both.

He was busy at work. Leave him alone.
Otherwise he's just not that into you.
Either way leave him alone.

@Pinkbonbon it's not that I'm text obsessed but if he's pattern of communication changes I pick up on it.

Oh no...he was texting loads last night and hasn't so much today but has explained he is busy and low battery. Why the panic?

I'd just chill out a bit and do your own thing when he texts respond. Don't be over thinking it or spending your time thinking of things to say. Relationships shouldn't be this hard.

The only way you’re going to figure out if he’s in to you is by not texting him and not being so available.

If you text him first now and he replies you’ll feel great....until tomorrow when he goes quiet again and you’re back to square one.

If he’s interested he’ll make the effort, so don’t text and see if he gets in touch.

Sometimes i am so busy at work I cannot find the time to text, sometimes i get home and feel exactly the same. Just chill, get on with your own stuff and let him come to you. You sound incredibly needy, give him some space. Is his job very busy or does it take up a lot of his brain space? Mine does and sometimes I just want to turn it off and not be anything to anyone. Leave him whilst at work.

I thought you weren't going to text him? I think you've posted before OP, many, many times. Is this the guy who went on holiday and ignored you?

Maybe just use texts for arranging your dates/emergency contact (eg: I'm gonna be late to meet you') in future. As much as possible at least. Save your chats for face to face.

I tell anyone I'm dating 'I hate bring glued to my phone all day/things can be misunderstood via text so I try to avoid it. Feel free to call whenever suits though'. That way you don't have to spend ages figuring out what a text means or if he is blowing cold ect. I mean I guessbe could just not call too xD but usually I find it just halves the drama to take texting out of the equation.

Set your own boundaries n you won't have to dance to his tune anymore.

Stop texting him now - in fact ignore him for at least a day- he has lost any motivation to Pursue you because you have basically told him he’s got it in the bag. You can’t keep rewarding him for behaving this way... just take massive step back and do something with your time. Whatever you are thinking of doing or saying please do the opposite as you are coming across as needy and it’s not a good look. Let him wonder why your not messaging him, don’t let him disrespect him you like this. Texting can get boring especially when it’s expected. Who can be bothered all of the time. Good luck - I think you will find he is more keen if you stop doing all the work.