So my dp has just broken up with me on holiday..

[rhubarb39]

Can't believe I'm writing this.. On a foreign holiday and he's broken up with me..there is background but nothing I felt enough to get to this point.. There is no emotion from him, he knew he was going to do it but said 'we both needed a holiday'.. I'm feeling very lost right now

There's 2 sets but one was lost before we went away.. Its not a huge deal to me, I can (but shouldn't) climb over the rails as we're ground floor.
He's just messaged me and said is sorry for asking me if I was ok and it was stupid of him and he feels awful for making me cry..
My reply wants to be 'did you honestly think finishing with your gf in a foreign country out of the blue Wouldn't make me cry???
Yet I can't bring myself to even still understand what's happening.
We did everything together.. Aside from living together we were perfect.. How do you mis read that so badly

I think you don't want to leave because you want to keep seeing him, but also avoid the day when you physically go your separate ways. But this just prolongs the agony for you.

If you really must stay on holiday and don't want to change the flights then at least book into another hotel. You can then come and go from your hotel room as you please and take some time for yourself without having to worry about seeing him, what he's doing or whether he's going to lock you out of the apartment.

Yes, another hotel or home. Rip the plaster off!

You didn't. You were conned by his fakery.

Go storming back into the apartment and DEMAND he gives you the keys. He can come and go as he pleases of course but you have the keys. He's not your Dad. (You're not his Mum either but there's an element of control if only one of you has the keys so it needs to be you.)

He's gone unpredictable as he has evidenced by ending the relationship on holiday. But at least he's sent you a text telling you how HE feels. Bastard.

Who owns the suitcase ? If it's yours tell him you are not sharing it on the way home, he needs to make his own arrangements regarding a suitable bag for his stuff. If it's vice versa get yourself a bag somehow. There must be a market or something nearby.

Personally I now wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. Just get logistical about it. Confirm the arrangements for going to the airport for the home going flight. Make sure that joint travel plans that can't be split will still be happening. Again, personally I wouldn't trust him not to screw you over. He's got nothing to lose for the rest of the holiday and the home going arrangements. What a cunt.

You need to leave!

Do you have your own spending money or do you pool holiday cash ? My husband is, 'banker' on holiday and I get a float. Because that how I like it (he's less likely to get robbed ?)

You are now two separate individuals in the same apartment because that's what he wanted.

Nice that he's responded to your silence already. Good, keep it up if you can, if you choose to. You are so upset you are actually speechless the but the end result is the same.

How long has he felt, 'unhappy ?' It's the element of planning on his part that fucks me right off. OK, you're not exactly turning cartwheels yourself.

Good luck. You are worth your weight in gold.

What an absolute cuntweasel

Yes, another hotel or home

Who would be financing this ? Any of us ? No. Him ? Unlikely. Are we having a 'whip round' for her ? Nope.

Anybody got a fucking clue about logistics for getting home from a package or any other type of holiday when there's not an emergency ?

I had a row with a boyfriend on holiday and he wanted to go home but there were no flights available as it was a charter flight holiday. This goes back some years.

He could have got a flight but he would have had to wait a couple of days and then had the head ache of the onbound travel.

So he grudgingly stayed with me until the end of the holiday. We couldn't wait to see the back of each other once we got to our local airport. He even refused to sit next to me on the flight back. Suited all parties, frankly.

Just book a hotel. Do not spend a week with him. It will be miserable. He won’t suddenly change his mind. I am sorry this is happening to you.

She said she has the finances to stay elsewhere.

IF he is staying in all day recovering from a nights drinking why does he need the keys. So what if you get back and hes done the decent thing and left. You deserve so much better than this.

The posters advocating OP going to another hotel or home are thinking about OP's mental health. Being stuck with someone who has just dumped you out of the blue and is now whining about how HE feels is not good for her. She will feel much better and more in control by taking decisive action.

I believe she said earlier in the thread she had the necessary money.

OP this exact thing happened to me!!! Completely out of the blue. I’m so sorry it’s happened to you too! I never saw him again after we got home.
Just try to keep yourself busy. He’ll probably spend all week trying to make sure you’re ok to make himself feel better. Wanker!!
My ex had actually met someone else before we went away. He has no idea I know this. I found out a long time afterwards and retained my dignity by never contacting him about it. Explained everything though really!!
I really hope you get through this week.

OK so now I have hours of alone time here goes..(possibly outing if anyone I know reads this but..)

My ex (relevant to this) basically cheated on me..on holiday..I can honestly still say now I cannot believe it happened due to how we were.. Either way It was a downward spiral for the next 2 years where I desperately wanted things to work but couldn't regain the trust. Anyway I ended things and moved out.. he ended up stalking me badly. There was a long case and he got a 2 year restraining order. We are 4 years on and he's still messaged me (police do know)
So queue meeting current dp and what the hell do you do? Tell him there's a restraining order coming to an end or hide it? Due to the fact he's contacted me again it was very hard and I 'thought' he understood.. Long story short is apparantly all its done is stress him out and put him off being with me.. Thats a real kick in the teeth.
Nothing else major, had a prob with a family member but just stuff I think we all probably have to deal with.. He's had the same.. I have dealt with it, he's not.

Seriously OP he’s a man in his 40s , he’s using that as an excuse .

In that case he’s a spineless, selfish, uncaring shit and you deserve better than this. If he’s not going to support you he may as well fuck off

What a spineless, mardy arsehole. I don't know how you can bear to be in the same space as him.

Load of bollocks. He's just trying to excuse his behaviour. He didn't want to look like a twat by dumping you before the holiday so he waited.

Go and get the bloody keys! Where are the other friends you are staying with?

Is he locking himself in the apartment in terror of your ex turning up?

Wow that's harsh Rhubarb. I don't agree with other posters that's he's abusive or that you should 'storm back and demand xxx!' Etc but he has completely shown you his true colours for which one day you can thank him!

His stance on this is cowardly and if he is ready to bail out as soon as you hit a ripple then he is not a keeper. You know yourself that relationships are hard. To survive you need to turn inwards toward each other and you need loyalty. He's heard something he doesn't like and rather than bring you closer he's panicking like a teenager. Imagine if you hit actual hard times in the relationship. What if, god forbid you were hit by illness, death, redundancy etc? We have no idea what the future holds and you will need someone that can handle the rough with the smooth.

It's got to be tough right now but you'll see this man isn't the one. The one for you will hear your story and want to hold you closer and protect you. Just as you will do for them.

So, get a nice drink, pick up a book, have a good cry and console yourself that you found out what a prick he is before too much more damage was done. MN will get you through the holiday and when you get home, things will feel infinitely better. KOKO

He sounds really weak and pathetic tbh.

Unable to support you emotionally (when hearing of your problems with ex instead of immediately wanting to defend and protect you he thinks if himself and can't cope with the stress) breaking up with you on holiday, doesn't want to move in with you etc....he sounds really feeble and inadequate.

He waits until your trapped in a different country with his friends to dump you?!
Now that's on a different level of control!

My ex broke up with me on the first day of our holiday 2 years ago.We have a three year old son and had been together 8 years.

All these pp saying he's got someone else, please be quiet, you don't know this. My ex hadn't and still hasn't. He will have his reasons but they aren't particularly relevant right now.

Op, please stay strong, I know how hard this is and you feel like like your gut has been wrenched out but once you get home you can move on and the whole thing will become a hideous story you'll forget.

For now, I would stay and spend the time, as I did, trying to assert how and what you need to do to get through it and move on. Call your friends and let them know what's happened. They will support you.

He is a twat. But I would stay civil and retain your dignity. Fuck him. He's not the person you thought he was.

Look after yourself and deep breaths, it's all work out fine in the end xxx

Oh OP, that's just a convenient excuse for him.

I know it's difficult but it really would be best for you to stay elsewhere. Seeing him every day isn't going to help you, and to be quite frank, him seeing you miserable every day isn't going to make him want you back. I understand that's what you want, but you've got a better chance of that if he has some time to see what life is like without you. And if he doesn't change his mind (and to be honest he doesnt deserve you anyway) then at least it makes it a little easier for you to move on if you've already started the separation on holiday.

Good luck, we're all rooting for you.

Thank you, it helps yet makes me sad reading your replies.
Im sat with couples around me trying to hold it together.. Yesterday I was in the pool with my legs wrapped round him.. I don't understand how this is happening. I wanted a future with him, we had so many plans.. I cannot imagine meeting someone who fits me so well.. He would have sod the same although that's clearly not the case is it.
To the lady whose partner ended things yes it's gut wrenching..i love the chill days together and the evenings where we both dress up.. Its awful knowing that won't happen again. I hope you're happier now.
As for my ex it was always a hard decision to tell him, I also gave him the option to keep him out of it all of he'd prefer as knew he found it hard. He said he wanted to be kept in the picture.
Just to clarify we are here on our own, no friends. I called a friend last night after I'd told him to leave me.. She is in shock as much as me