So my dp has just broken up with me on holiday..

[rhubarb39]

Can't believe I'm writing this.. On a foreign holiday and he's broken up with me..there is background but nothing I felt enough to get to this point.. There is no emotion from him, he knew he was going to do it but said 'we both needed a holiday'.. I'm feeling very lost right now

@rhubarb39 how did the phonecall go

He never called.. You were all right.. I've lost all faith, if he can behave like this there is no hope

I’m sorry you’re hurting so much but use this as the start of going no contact. It will help you.

That’s bad.

Draw a line now. Block him. Send anything important back to him and bin the rest. It is well and truly over and time to move on to bigger and better things.

I am sorry @rhubarb39 time to be lovely to yourself now.

So sorry rhubarb, thinking about you this evening. Being kind is the most important character trait in a partner, you've discovered he wasn't.

I am very sorry @rhubarb39 but this has to be the end of the line now. You will drive yourself to the point of a breakdown if you continue to hold onto hope. You really do need to block him. He has ended it.

It IS about power. He doesn't care about harassing you. He doesn't even care enough to call and say "I don't know what to say". He KNOWS you've waited all day. I wouldn't do that to someone I hated if I knew they were sad and anxious.

Tell him to fuck off and then block.

What are your next steps? Get practical. What IRL do you have over the next few days?

I know we all say 'but I didn't think he was like that'... I REALLY didn't expect this.. I'm genuinely shocked.
He was such a caring person, was always supportive, caring, listened.. NEVER let me down.. I'm truly heartbroken.
I don't care about my stuff, he's obviously not bothered either.
The decent thing to do knowing that I wanted to work through things would have been to say sorry but things aren't working.. Not ill call you? My friend thinks I should give him the benefit of the doubt.. For a man who sits at home 5 eves a week he'd have to have some pretty amazing excuse for me to get past this.. I'm not stupid.. Wow I'm shocked

You didn't expect to be dumped on holiday either, so not sure why you're shocked at his not phoning.

Just chiming in with a hand to hold and some unmumsnetty hugs, @rhubarb39. You can see a fair few of us have been in the same position, but we've gone on to live healthy, happy lives.

Give yourself time to grieve, then move on.

This is just heart breaking. Rhubarb you sound so strong one day at a time.
Wish I had some wise words of wisdom, i don't. But I do believe that when things like this happen there will he a reason you just won't realise it for a long time.
But for now keep on keeping on xXx

@rhubarb39

My friend thinks I should give him the benefit of the doubt..

Why? What excuses did your friend think of?

Did you try to call him?

Oops my post looks harsher than I intended. Should have elaborated. What I mean is, it was a shock to you how he was on holiday, so his not phoning today shouldn't really come as such a shock to you, as he now has form for not caring about your feelings, even if it seems a recent change.

Hapless no excuse just said maybe there may be a good reason.. I disagree and think he could have said he wasn't calling me or soemtji f had come up etc end of?
Mariana because he knew I wanted to try and work through things and said he'd call.. Why when he had no intention. He should have just carried on ignoring or not replied. I'm so upset

Maybe he'll call tomorrow or in a couple of days. Maybe he just thought there was no point. Maybe he even forgot! whatever the reason, you clearly weren't a priority to him.

Is there a chance he had someone else lined up and he's with her? I don't know if this has been broached earlier?

@rhubarb39 You are of course right, your friend is probably trying to give you false hope. The forefront of anyone's mind with an ounce of respect or care or love for someone after subjecting them to stonewalling/silence for a whole holiday and then a week after, would be the conversation that might bring them comfort.

I have called partners who have cheated, hit me, beat me, had blazing rows with - and I still gave them more closure on why the relationship was over.

It doesn't really add up why he wouldn't ring - perhaps he chickened out - but the hard part is done, so what's he to chicken out about? He's either spineless or there's something more going on...

Did you not try and call yourself?

I think this is going to make you ill OP, in the nicest way. Can you not stay with friends? Or can you see your daughter this week?

He's a prick and an abusive one. I'd be amazed if he didn't try to reel you in once he thinks you are at a point to agree to whatever shite he comes out with. Unless he's found a fresh victim which seems unlikely. But be prepared for some sob/shit story.

The best thing you can do is take control. Finish it yourself. Block and keep him blocked. It will be hellish but you have been in hell since the holiday anyhow. Tell your friends and DD what you are doing and ask them to support you in it. You can do it.

I'm really sorry rhubarb, it's very upsetting when someone lets you down so badly.
Try and be kind to yourself and not let this make you doubt your loveability.

It's like another kick in the teeth and it will temporarily put you back to where you were feeling on holiday, but you will come back from it. Xx

It can make you ill. Taking control gives you strength, even though it screams against your instincts to make everything right. You think you can talk it better, if only he'd call.

He messaged.. Won't put what as poss outing but it makes sense.. Says he's very sorry and will def call tomorow.. I'm exhausted and wish all this was a bad dream and that I could just have the man I love back😢

He’s shown you who he really is. Unless he was in a car crash or is an MP and busy at work then he’s shown how he thinks of you repeatedly.

So predictable. He could have called or messaged any time since the holiday ended. This is exactly what I and others suggested he would do. You are now relieved and happy as opposed to angry. He is a manipulator. This is who he is.

Does he get on with all your friends /DD?

I'm not sure he's manipulative, I think he's just cowardly.

I don't think you should speak to him tomorrow, he only just text you? Could he not have text you before he didn't ring all evening?

Please harness your anger again, he has treated you appallingly for weeks now.

@MsPavlichenko OP won't answer if her DD likes him or not, it's been asked multiple times.