So my dp has just broken up with me on holiday..

[rhubarb39]

Can't believe I'm writing this.. On a foreign holiday and he's broken up with me..there is background but nothing I felt enough to get to this point.. There is no emotion from him, he knew he was going to do it but said 'we both needed a holiday'.. I'm feeling very lost right now

Misdew I don't recall saying anywhere we were back together? I think for some the only reply they want to see is that I've thrown all his stuff on the pool and got the first flight back home?! Because I wanted to hear his side of it after a pretty faultless 3 years isn't good enough obviously.
Like I said I'm enjoying the rest of my holiday. When I'm home I will deal with how I feel.

Are you having sex with him?

I didn't say you were back together. He dumped you. Then " broke down". Your engagement with that and subsequent posts suggest a shift.

Either way he's made sure this week has been all about him.

Posts on here about affairs.. Abuse..i get those.. I wouldn't be sitting here if that was the case. Everyone deserves to be listened to if that's what the other person wants.. Thats what I've done.. Listened.
Auntie flow came to visit..unheard of for me.. a sign probably.
I've only had 2 proper relationships over the last 20 years (being in them all that time as well) .. I guess some could say I 'chose' wrong.. I never understand that. Does that mean that this man chose wrong in me.. You can start over analising and that's something I don't want to do right now.. When I'm home is another story.

Well I hope you consider the possibility of abue rather than rejecting it absolutely as you have done so far.

You are still dumped then?

I dont think whatever I say will go down well so I'm leaving it as it is. As I've said I appreciate all replys and will look into the help people have suggested when home.

I think you're carrying on as normal with him then. You came here for advice, you got it. Good luck. Please look out for yourself.

Don't be a complete mug OP.

Good luck OP

Please work on yourself when you get home before starting another relationship.
You’re worth more than a fixer upper x

I’d hide this thread now OP. There’s little to be gained from reading such unkind posts.

Christ ladies, this isn’t a spectator sport. Stop being so vile to her because she isn’t kowtowing to your desire for some sort of triumphant ‘and then I set his clothes on fire, fucked the waiter and everybody cheered’ kind of narrative.

As OP is alone in a foreign country and devastated, the last thing she needs is people dog piling on her here for not doing the ‘right’ thing. Even if you feel you have her best intentions at heart, have some sensitivity.

Well said Rosecat22

Very drunk right now..my options.. Hmm... As I've told him. But wont put up with shit love him... Yeah.feel ve lost right now... He seems devatsed..im????

OP, you sound like a very patient and reflective person. You'll come to the right decision for you. Don't worry about the people who are pissed off with your lack of drama.

But maybe go sleep off the wine?

It's been an emotional rollercoaster for you. Not the relaxing holiday you'd hoped for at all.

Lots of 'tough love' on here, sometimes it just sounds mean though, even though people are just trying to help and worried you may fall back into his arms.

Be kind to yourself, OP, take a step back and when you get back home take some space and time to reflect on everything that's happened. You are too close to the drama at the moment.

Tell him you don't want to talk about any of it again while on holiday. Try to just chill and get a break as best you can for the remaining time.

OP here’s the thing

Many posters on here come on and give out advice that they would NEVER take themselves. 99% of the people telling you to catch the first flight home and never speak to him again wouldn’t even do that themselves.

Then you get the posters who label every man as abusive for the most smallest of things.

Your guy is human. I’m not saying what he’s done is okay BUT he’s not a robot. Humans have emotions and different thought processes. If we all chucked away relationships at the first hurdle or as soon as someone done something shit then everyone would be single.

If you wanna work things through with him then great. Don’t let hypocritical posters on here who wouldn’t even follow their own advice convince you not to!

Thanks everyone. I've been awake for ages..that horrible anxious feeling when somethings not right.. I never normally struggle to sleep😞
Anyway we went for a meal.. As hard as I tried to sit and be civil and 'try' it's so so hard when you see couples holding hands and laughing.. I can barely muster a smile and realised how much its affected me. I can be as hard as nails, as I said in a previous post I've had a crazy life in ways and it's made me strong.. I know this has knocked me and that's not like me.. Because I love him it's impossible to just switch off.
We had a drink after the meal and he knew I wasn't happy, I told him I was trying to make the most of what was left but it was hard. He seemed shocked just saying 'but we spoke.. 'I gave you my reasons.. I apologised etc.. I said I knew that but couldn't just snap out of what had happened and just wanted to be home for some space.. He looked floored, upset.. Just like I'd done when he origionaly spoke to me.. Told him it was a bad idea being out and we left..got back, he's in the lounge.
I know ill get the 'some people don't listen' 'you should have taken my advice' etc but I think the fact we have done it this way has allowed us both to express how we feel.. Sadly he is saying he wishes he'd never said a word when we arrived, loves me... Sadly I'm obviously wishing he hadn't either...but it's happened and now I've got 2 more days of silence and atmosphere...my own fault I know.

Op do you think he might be in the spectrum towards having Asperger's?

His surprise at your emotional pain and reaction seems very strange.

By the way I think some of the responses you have had here are vile. This is your life and it's absolutely normal for the end of a relationship to be both difficult and involve lots of talking crying and confusion.

People want to boss strangers about online and judge how they react in stressful situations. Well. Op I think you have shown great dignity and it's absolutely natural you have been compelled to keep talking and trying to find out what is going through his mind.

It's really strange that he thinks you should click into being normal from the end of a three year relationship. Something not quiet right in his emotional response op

Waterrat one thing I love about him is how sensible and level headed he is.. I can talk to him about anything.. Clearly I do that too much as have stressed him out?! Theres definately a 'different' thought process going on. I try and turn the tables sometimes in situations and asked him how he'd feel if it was the other way round.. Of course it isn't so he can't understand.. Yet I kmow he's been hurt in the past so can understand.. . Who knows.

“I've got 2 more days of silence and atmosphere...my own fault I know.”

Really REALLY not your own fault!!

HE created this situation, not you.