So my dp has just broken up with me on holiday..

[rhubarb39]

Can't believe I'm writing this.. On a foreign holiday and he's broken up with me..there is background but nothing I felt enough to get to this point.. There is no emotion from him, he knew he was going to do it but said 'we both needed a holiday'.. I'm feeling very lost right now

OP please do not talk to him anymore, he’s a head wrecking man child.
If you spend time fixing him he’ll dump you and move on anyway.

He’s playing you and you will only get hurt.

OP is herself taking comfort on the break up support thread while she comforts her ex DP.

Rhubarb

Thinking of you. This is very tough.

Have you had your break up sex yet ?

Or is the OP going to fall for the, 'I'm sorry' routine ?

He has got no respect for you. Even less now you are, 'allowing yourself to be treated like this.' Which is a green light for him to turn nasty.

So.……...you hung round hoping he would change his mind. He hasn't but at least you are talking now...………

He feels bad for his appalling treatment of you and is coming to YOU for comfort.

Sorry OP, but you're losing credibility fast.

Your previous partner has a restraining order against him which will expire shortly. Your freshly ex-boyfriend feels 'stressed' by this. What does that even mean ?

You are in your forties. It's all drama with you isn't it ?

Oh well, the holiday was good for 'trauma bonding' at least. My bet is you will go home all loved up with a fresh understanding of each other and your relationship.

If you're still together 48 hours after you get home I'll be surprised. To bad this holiday had to be all about him. It hasn't been much of a holiday for you has it ? Oh well.

Agree don't comfort this man. I know its difficult when you are emotional about him and the shock of the situation.
Hold your head high dont get involved in his mind gsmes

Go to the pool go out for dinner go on a day trip.
Leg him sit in the apartment wallowing in his daft game .
Be strong x

Not sure where some of you have got the idea that I've jumped back into his arms merely because I wanted to see what he had to say. I'm not sure some of you would literally just pack up and leave and for those of you who would you're very lucky to just be able to switch off. This is my holiday too, I'm literally back to work when we return, I need a break of some sort and rather spend it in the sun apart than a wet empty house alone.
We've been together 3 years.. Yes I know not long really but I'm not sure time means as much compared to the person you click with.. Clearly that's crap.. I see that now.
Just to clarify also my 'ex' not the man I'm with now had a restraining order on him which ended about a year ago, it's been tough and I've explained my dilemma of even telling my now dp (yes current ex)
I do not thrive off drama..who would want to be in that position.. If I loved the drama I'd never have got an order taken out.. I wasn't to know it would carry on and cause issues.
Anyway were civil and if that's what needs to happen tp get me through the next few days then so be it. Crying and stressing won't help so I'm off to the beach

Glad you got to talk to him even though what he said didn't make a lot of sense.

No, I wouldn't have flown back when you haven't had a holiday in ages.

I probably would have gotten another room so you'd have some peace and quiet.

Try to enjoy you holiday and get some relaxation. I don't know if you like to dance but if there is a place to dance, it might take your mind off things and destress a bit.

3 years is a long time. It's shocking someone you've known so long can treat you like that.

I hope you get some enjoyment at the beach.

Be kind to yourself. Shock is a terrible thing.

Just ignore unsupportive posts. It's the last thing you need

I'm so sorry. My ex did this to me, turned out he was having an affair

Get an Airbnb, go and buy a suitcase of your own, pack and move and then get on with your holiday. Any more hanging around is a recipe for stress, not relaxation.

OP I think you’re getting a hard time on here. Most the posters give advice but it’s easy to tell you what to do when they aren’t the ones in the situation

I think some of the posters need to wind their neck in. Anybody who was dumped on holiday would be exactly the same.. all the posters telling you to go home or not to talk to him are hypocrites because OF COURSE they would want to stay and chat

Their relationships aren’t perfect. If they seriously dissected their relationships they’d probably find they had some sort of communication issue or something else that isn’t 100% perfect.

I think you’ve done the right thing talking to him. Just don’t let him mess with your head. And ignore the posters who will have you believe they’d walk away from this relationship without a single question because they wouldn’t

I too think OP is getting a hard time. I would also be staying put and damn right I'd be wanting an explanation. Buying suitcases and new hotels or flight and then a new taxi/ transfer, great if you've got a few hundred quid to waste.

For what it's worth op I'd be staying put and making most of the sun

You’re right, it’s incredibly easy to give advice

A lot of this advice, while maybe not given in “preferred pretty terms” It’s from women who have been through situations similar to this. It’s from women who know men like this. Women were trying to save rhubarb more angst and unhappiness. Women who are trying to help her move on faster. I haven’t seen anything that is overly unkind. Brusque perhaps but not unkind

I don’t see how this is any more relaxing holiday and staying home in a damp house. But that’s just me.

Mgt exdp of 18 years and two children did this to me at the start of a two week family holiday. We only had one car with us. To this day I can't figure out why I didn't pack the children into the car and drive home. It was easily the worst ten days of my life. We'r coparent amicably now although I'm still not over himand wish I could just move away but that would not be in my children's best interests. I still dont know the whys and wherefores it wouldn't change anything anyway.

@ LovePoppy your post was spot on. Many of us have been dumped in a cruel way with little or no explanation, and the best thing to do is remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possibe.

Often the 'explanations' given are bullshit anyway. Relationships can be ended by either party, at any time, for any reason at all Nice when it's done with care, but sadly that isn't always the case. The result is the same though. It's over for one party.

Some quite harsh posts on here, although well meaning I don't think they are very helpful as OP has already decided to stay.

What a messy and drawn out break up this will be, and an awkward and stressful holiday. With him witnessing all the tears and pain his rejection has caused, while helpfully helpfully offering cups of tea and hand holding. I think he's hoping OP will cry and beg and convince him to change his mind.

OP, stay strong, go to the beach, read a good book, turn your phone off and ignore him. Dress up and take yourself out for a nice meal, disappear for hours on end and leave him stewing, when you touch down back home, collect your things, take your gorgeous tanned self far away from the drama, drive away from him without a backward glance and block him on everything. If you can survive this holiday from hell you can survive anything. New beginnings, onwards and upwards!

Thanks for all the replies. I don't think any are harsh, tbh you could all be having a massive go and I couldn't feel worse.
I appreciate all views and support. A good friend of mine called me, I had a long walk and feel a bit calmer.

Why can't you buy a backpack and find an alternative place to stay ?
Sorry I know it's been asked already but what was the reason?
You're so much more vulnerable staying there

I’m so glad you got out for your walk

Treat yourself out to a lovely dinner tonight

Filled I guess I became quite stubborn and thought why should I pay more money for something that I don't want to do. Its bearable.. Its silent.. He trys.. I am not trying back.. I'm sunbathing, taking walks, calling friends.. I'll get through it. The hardest part will be the journey back and then collecting my stuff from his.. Still trying not to think about that part

Is it possible to change your flight seat so you’re not next to him?

How's it going rhubarb?

Hmm. Anyone else thinking what I'm thinking?

guessing some making up has been done

Hi, thanks for the latest replies.
Well he had a big breakdown last night (I know some of you sigh) he told me stuff he should have told me when we first met. Seems he bottles stuff up and it all got too much (I used to be like him and changed my ways after how much I saw it damaged a relationship)
Anyway I explained to him how much he'd hurt me, how much he was probably better on his own and that if he'd only spoken to me we wouldnt have had an awful time like this.
At the moment I've said I need to think about what he's said. I still feel confused and hurt but am trying to enjoy the rest of what I have left of my holiday.
I appreciate everyone's input, obviously some of you will think I should have just told him to F off but I couldnt just walk away from what I felt was a good reaktionship and a guy I love without hearing his reasons. Doesn't anyone deserve that?