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Original poster

Dating thread 171: Turning over new leaves as we head into autumn

999 replies

saltysally · 30/09/2019 18:18

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. Know your worth.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

**

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
KhaleesiTargaryen · 09/10/2019 13:53

Wow. The level of arrogance in that whole exchange @lifegoes just rationalising his behaviour so he can convince himself he’s not a dick.

I think kik can be anonymous? It’s just a username as far as I know?

lifegoes · 09/10/2019 13:57

Thank you @JeSuisPrest you are so right. The other guy very young GF contacted me to ask. And it ended up an awful situation as I felt I was supporting her.

I feel so angry, for whatever reason I didn't want to believe that he was this awful guy. And now I've been proven that he was. By last night. I don't think it's my place in this circumstance to say anything to her, it would be done for all the wrong reasons. And you are right he would turn it around because this certainly won't be the first time he's cheated.

lifegoes · 09/10/2019 14:00

I am absolutely shocked at his arrogance @KhaleesiTargaryen this is a guy who would always come running after me. I don't know if the arrogance has come from me texting him last night and him thinking this way me looking for a way in etc.

I also got told "we are adults, of course I understand"

Originallymeonly · 09/10/2019 17:55

@lifegoes, "we are adults..." aka You've got me bang to rights but I'm not prepared to feel any remorse, I was just happy to get away with it as long as I did?? Cynical me I know

StealthNinjaMum · 09/10/2019 17:59

@lifegoes I don't know why I keep being shocked at people but I just can't believe how many selfish, arrogant, entitled wankers exist in the world. I'm sorry you met him and are going through this. Hopefully you're just around the corner from meeting a William, I think it's your turn for some luck. Unmumsnetty hugs.

lifegoes · 09/10/2019 18:05

You just couldn't make it up @Originallymeonly the funniest part is, he's 12 years younger than me. It's not the first time he's said it either. "We are adults let's talk about this" I imagine that's exactly how he talks to his wife to be or probably all the young girls hanging off him. I only wish now I had gone to town on him. But Instead decided to keep calm, on my white horse and say well I'm glad you understand as, you'd be surprised how many people aren't as understanding.

Thank you @StealthNinjaMum it's been a shitty year for men. I'm not even sure how I attract them. But I do hope I find a decent one soon xxx

InTheTempest · 09/10/2019 19:13

Lifegoes sorry you are having such a shitty time. So many people seem to have the morals of fucking alley cats these days.💐

Mr Cath Fach has been working loads. Off on a long lads weekend from tomorrow 🙄

Mr Hendricks is messaging too. I don't know whether to unhide my tinder again...

lifegoes · 09/10/2019 20:23

Does anyone pay for bumble and if so what's the benefits?

InTheTempest · 09/10/2019 20:29

I've never paid for bumble or tinder. Tinder gave me tinder plus for free before but can't say it made much difference

lifegoes · 09/10/2019 20:35

@InTheTempest shame, I've never paid for either before. Just not much on bumble lately. But I'm determined to get out there and move on. Ha

InTheTempest · 09/10/2019 20:41

Definitely get out there! 👍 But they work quite well for free don't they?

Worst thing ever was paying for the match subscription 😂

lifegoes · 09/10/2019 20:49

Yeah they do, I've just reset all my accounts back up. See if I can lure in a nice SINGLE man. 😂😂

saltysally · 09/10/2019 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InTheTempest · 09/10/2019 20:56

It's got me wondering how many of the dates I've been on have had girlfriends..

That does look like a ring salty

Mr Hendricks is messaging me and it's getting quite flirty. I've been back to his twice but not slept with him... I'm not sure whether I should or shouldn't. Mr Cath Fach always appears in my head....

SimonJT · 09/10/2019 21:04

Yes definitely a ring on his ring finger.

I also have one, but I promise I’m not secretly married!

So MiniSJT and MrNN have met twice, once at a petting zoo and once at the park. All fine. But (and this is probably stupid) what do you do then? Can you invite them to the flat etc, or do you need more meets on neutral ground?

StealthNinjaMum · 09/10/2019 21:05

@InTheTempest I am the only person ever who paid for Match and found someone!

@saltysally that does look like a ring, is that a profile picture? Maybe it's old?

Original poster
saltysally · 09/10/2019 21:06

Thanks guys. And blocked...

OP posts:
Original poster
saltysally · 09/10/2019 21:07

@stealthninjamum I was kind of hoping he had something in his hand that was sticking out. It's a recent pic.

OP posts:
InTheTempest · 09/10/2019 21:10

Stealth you must be! The only conversations I remember having on match were with these older guys, one messaged me and we got chatting and I think I used to whinge in about how much I fancied my neighbour (long story)

The other was the dj from my local pub who is about 70 😂 he messaged me cos he recognised me from the pub. When I showed my mum she said he used to live opposite us years ago.

I went on one date from match. Very good looking but a total knob. On the second date he turned up with a condom in his shirt pocket and sulked when I wouldn't take him back to mine for sex

StealthNinjaMum · 09/10/2019 21:11

@SimonJT that's a lovely update. I haven't got there yet but I presume when I get to the stage of introducing my dc to Mr R I imagine he'll come round as a 'friend' and have a glass of wine or takeaway with me just as my female friends do. is minijt used to you having other friends over?

Sunshineandflipflops · 09/10/2019 21:18

I paid for Match for 6 months and met a few nice guys on there. None of them were for me in the end but no bad experiences really. I know a few people who have met their other halves on Match but I wouldn't pay for it now over using Tinder/Bumble for free.

I met Mr Ad on Bumble. It was his birthday today and we spent the day together and had a posh lunch (my present to him). Seeing him again tomorrow overnight then I won't see him for a week 😭

Original poster
saltysally · 09/10/2019 21:18

Oh the whole message went not just the ring

Nevermind. Noone has missed anything!

OP posts:
InTheTempest · 09/10/2019 21:23

sunshine that sounds lovely. Hard when you won't see him for a week. Not the same but I don't know when I'll see Mr Cath Fach again. Makes me really sad sometimes thinking what if there isn't a next time

DustMyselfOff · 09/10/2019 21:29

William protected me from stbx messing with my head tonight. He's fucking awesome

Sunshineandflipflops · 09/10/2019 21:29

@InTheTempest Yeah, it's not nice but between the hour's travel between us and me having my kids and his AA meetings, it's just the way it is 😕