Should I be concerned about the type of porn my DP watches? (*MNHQ warning: distressing content, concerns violent porn)

[DanaScully83]

My DP was looking online for holiday properties to rent. He passed his laptop to me to have a look at one and I noticed that he had several other windows open and one was a porn site. When he left the room I opened the window to see what he had been looking at. I should say at this point I don't have a particular problem with porn. I'd rather my DP didn't feel the need to watch it but overall I regard it as private and not really any of my business. We have a good sex life and so it certainly isn't causing any problems in that department. So why did I look? Curiosity I guess!
The problem is the video he had been watching was called 'Young asian babe exepriences nasty group sex'. I am neither particularly young (mid 30s) nor am I asian. However, the bit that really concerns me is the 'nasty' bit. I watched a few seconds of the video and at times the girl looks like she is crying and in pain. It is horrific and I am really really shocked. A quick look at DP's search history reveals he has searched for asian group sex many times before.
I just don't know what to do - I know I shouldn't have intruded but it is done now and I cannot unsee what I saw. I'm struggling to reconcile my kind, loving DP (and father of our 2 sons) with someone who enjoys watching a young girl being subjected to what looked like violent and unpleasant sex. I am shocked by how upset I am - I can't even look at him and feel sick at the thought of him touching me again. What should I do? Is this normal? Should I be worried?

@HumberElla Agreed, I worry for my daughters.

the porn your oh watches may be okay to you but not to another woman if it was her oh..

Given that I've said he watches the least degrading stuff; unless a woman man is against watching porn altogether (which I'd fully understand) .. it's hard to see how it wouldnt be ok for her ... given the alternative is more degrading stuff.

I did read your post... fully... and still stick to what I said. What he chooses to show you or not delete or fantasies in his own head about!!? You don't know 100% yet you seem to think you do??

I've not stated once ALL MEN WATCH THIS SO IT'S NORMAL... not once.
Some men don't watch porn at all. Some like just watching a man getting head, some like girl on girl and some like violent sex scenes.... fact.

*dunno how that "man" snuck into to my last post

@GilbertMarkham just because you would be okay with it doesn't mean someone else would be.... not matter what you think about it there will always be another wife out there that wouldn't be happy her husband is watching it. Its that simple.

dunno how that "man" snuck into to my last post

That's also a category on the sites 😂

What he chooses to show you or not delete

You clearly aren't - because I've stated twice now that my knowledge is not based on what he chooses to show me.

As for deleting; nothings impossible but he has zero reason to.

@GilbertMarkham, was the old Flake ad a crucial influence on your DH?

GilbertMarkham you've made it clear on here what you wouldn't like... So... there is always that reason? 🤷🏻‍♀️

@GilbertMarkham, was the old Flake ad a crucial influence on your DH? grin

What a blast from.the past, I'd forgotten all about that .

Hmm must out that theory to him. He's younger than me though so I don't know if he'd remember it clearly. Maybe it's subliminal

Roozy oh I thought you were doing the "all men do it, just ignore it" thing.

careless I'm sure some women watch it too. I wouldn't want to date them either.

I've not stated once ALL MEN WATCH THIS SO IT'S NORMAL... not once.

Your post gave me the string impression you did ...

*It is normal and I wouldn't think too much into it.

I think alot of women on MN would be very shocked at what their OH watch porn wise .... if they think it's a married couple having nice, loving sex in a bed they are very mistaken lol.

Don't think any less of him, porn sites are FILLED with fantasies including violence, incest, gang bangs, and 100s more..

If every man was to show you the porn they watch, this would be pretty normal.*

And I'm.ckearly not alone in that impression.

I thought you were doing the "all men do it, just ignore it" thing.

*clearly

Wow, it's now 'normal' to watch fucking gang rape porn.

FML!

That's someone's young daughter.

What AF Deathgrip Humber and GilbertMarkham said.

And he left it up for you to see, because this is normal for him.

Fantasy my arse. He's feeding an industry built on abuse of women. Women are people, one of these days, one of those females might be your granddaughter.

It's not okay.

For the record, I had the genius idea of doing a search for the title the OP specified. It's not exact but there is a video that comes up multiple times with a similar title.
If that's the one, it's a fairly standard Japanese-produced porn. A far cry from what I imagine most people seem to be imagining.

I know what my post said???

Please just copy and paste where I say the words "all men watch this porn so it is normal"

I believe if EVERY MAN was to show op the porn they were into gang bangs would be up there as being pretty bloody normal!!
You don't have to agree with me??
It is normal to watch any kind of porn (within reason not child porn that's not to be bought into this) in my eyes..

So again... to me, what she found is pretty normal and if every man was to show op what they would watch she would see it's pretty popular/normal/common however you want to see it.

She's entitled to her feelings.. as I've also stated and that she can up and leave if she's not comfortable- why should someone stay with a partner when they're not comfortable or happy after finding something that makes them not want to look at them or touch them!?

Every man is different for the 100th time. Some like to watch man on man.. woman on woman.. blow jobs.. anal... gang bangs.. violence.. each to their own!! And women might I add.

If you think majority of men just watch a man and woman have loving sex that's your opinion... mine is that I think more would be more into gang bangs, threesomes etc when watching porn. You don't have to agree with me!?

Lex "It’s worth remembering that 30 years ago a lot of what is now commonly available on the internet would have got you a prison sentence if you possessed it."

I really did not know that! Would that include what OP DH was watching?

Roozy I think your first post was poorly phrased but that's okay. I hope there won't be a Parliamentary row over it. We can set a better example on MN. Not joking!

I can't face reading all the rape apologists on this thread, all i will say to the OP is
when a man shows you who he is, believe him

@GilbertMarkham

And I'm.ckearly not alone in that impression.

I thought you were doing the "all men do it, just ignore it" thing....

I clearly stated many comments back that she can leave... stay... talk to him... it's her life. Why stay if you're not.happy or comfortable.

I also stated she should try and talk to him, talk it out and work through it. Its not easy.
Her feelings aren't irrelevant and she is entitled to feel how she does.

Completely agree @Roozy123

@AutumnRose1
Probably I'm not the best with my words lol

Roozy I think your first post was poorly phrased

I second that; poorly phrased is much milder how I'd describe it though.

That's as much response as I'm going to bother writing to the "I know what I wrote!!!" rant above .

Please just copy and paste where I say the words "all men watch this porn so it is normal"
....

to me, what she found is pretty normal and if every man was to show op what they would watch she would see it's pretty popular/normal/common however you want to see it.

That's within the same post.

I wish there was a banging your head against a wall emoji on mn.