Break up support thread 3

[herbsmokedchicken]

We’re all still here...

I have done a face mask and a work out today - determined to get the best out of a bad situation. This year may have been the worst in my life so far

That’s good, self care and all that. It’s important not to wallow i guess altho sometimes I do indulge myself. Any other plans for today?

My year started out so well (aside from a bereavement) and it’s ended up shite! Feel so unsettled at the moment. Wonder if he even realises what tomorrow is?? Bah

Out for dinner, it’s somewhere we come a lot but it’s where we came when I introduced A to everyone for the first time. This hurts so much. I just keep remembering how happy we were

I am well and truly heartbroken - I miss the stupid bastard ❤️

Oh it’s horrible isn’t it? And I feel like a bit of a dick complaining on here after what you’re going through but it hurts so much. Normally after a meal there at a weekend I’d be going back to his and I’m not. Held it together during the meal but now we are home I’m just in bits. I miss him so much.

FUCKS SAKE! Once again, knock at the door, heart stops. This time it’s a takeaway for next door.

Hope you’re all ok today... I’m struggling with really missing my guy tonight, I just wish I could text him and say hello.
I’m hoping he gets drunk tonight and decides to contact me!

I am absolutely shocking and suspect it’s only going to get worse once it’s our actual would-be anniversary but I’m hoping once that’s happened I’ll get some closure! Hoping it’ll help make it click in my brain that he’s not coming back to me.

I can't cut contact atm with everything that's happened. I'm far from healed sorry you are all feeling crap.

What a lovely Saturday have added to my ever increasing note of text messages I won’t send.

Checking my FB memories, of course forgot that my change of relationship status would come up, as we didn’t change them till a few days later but of course it was back dated till today. Gave me a jolt. Not very nice of me but I hope he checks his memories and it gives him a jolt too. That’s not a nice thing to say. He’s been nothing but kind and he made the right decision. But I still want him to hurt a little bit.

@TinselAndKnickers that is so sad, I'm so sorry do you feel like hes sincere in his love for you? It sounds like he is, just so frustrating that despite that he is choosing not to have a relationship. You've definitely done the right thing to walk away, he needs to realise that he cant have you with no commitment. When will you get your test results?

Its normal to want them to feel hurt. Their hurt will come later. I know it's hard to believe me when I say that but trust me.

Puffin thank you yes I do tbf, when I text him saying I had something to tell him ASAP he came and picked me up straightaway, he tells me he loves me and stuff when I ask and I know it's hard for him because he cried with me and kissed my hand and all this stuff. I know it sounds wishful thinking but he's not one to fuck about and I truly believe he does love me but it will just take a while for him to miss me properly. during that time I'll be trying to heal myself. I don't know about test results - it's all a waiting game!

I hope my ex feels hurt one day, I know he probably won't as he's probably happier now and I shouldn't even care about what he thinks but I want him to feel how I am :(

I don't know what to do

In what way @TinselAndKnickers?

@Jonsnowsghost I know it sucks, I’ve been talking to some nice guys online and all it does is highlight how not ok I am, whereas aside from a brief moment of sadness when he realised what day it is I’m pretty sure he is feeling fine today.

@TinselAndKnickers do you have much support and help from other people especially with your tests etc? I feel like it may be best to try to put your ex into no contact, as it sounds so painful to have to encounter him and know he loves you but isnt wanting a relationship. Maybe after a few weeks or longer of NC he will miss you enough to pursue you again and it may give you space to feel better without reminders of him?

I did find with mine that going NC has helped me feel better and stronger.

I think it's best to go NC too, just breaks my bloody heart x

I think NC is best, it hurts, but we need to get used to not being able to turn to them.

Agree NC is he best way to go. But maybe block them too so they can't break it. That's what happened to me and now I've taken a few steps back.

Also delete them on social media. Checking their profiles counts as still being in contact. Same with their old messages.

Honestly block Facebook
Block number WhatsApp
Try to avoid him,

For me it's hard as I have to go to meetings with him there for up to 3/4 hours once month!

I’m sad this time last year about now I think we were going for a spin, talking about our feelings. Soon will be a year since our first (disastrous) kiss. Just hurts so much to remember how happy and excited I was and I know it’ll (hopefully) happen again one day and I shouldn’t dwell on the past but it hurts so much. It was so amazing and I just don’t understand why it had to change.

12 months ago today I was with him, blissed out, starting our relationship
12 weeks ago today, at this time, he was breaking up with me. There’s a word for that, not coincidence (altho obviously it is) and not ironic, something along the lines of synchronicity but don’t think that’s the word either.
But it is shit that’s for sure. I don’t care that everyone goes through it, I don’t care that I’ll feel better in time, this SUCKS.

So sorry herb

Here I am texting him as friends. What a fucking mug I am.

Tbf, i feel really low and I’ve cried a few times but it’s not actually been as bad today as I thought it would be.

What kind of stuff are you texting about - heavy shit or keeping it light and breezy? Kind of hoped mine would text to see how I was doing but he hasn’t and fair enough. Have to accept that he’s not someone I can turn to anymore.

How are you feeling, generally?