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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Break up support thread 3

999 replies

herbsmokedchicken · 20/09/2019 21:01

We’re all still here...

OP posts:
Imagiraffe · 05/10/2019 10:38

@Tinselandknickers I really feel for you, you sound broken. No words can make it better. If only they could see what they were throwing away. True love is a rare thing to have, and they are jacking it in for what?
One day they might all wake up and regret what they've done but I hope we will all be in a better place by then 🌻

herbsmokedchicken · 05/10/2019 10:55

Oh @TinselAndKnickers that sounds like a shit night I’m so sorry - is your friend OK? Did the screaming and crying help at all? The waiting for your results may be heightening everything as well, such a horrible time all round Sad

@Jonsnowsghost I had two dreams where we got back together! Well I think the second was a continuation of the first cos I woke up after the first one and felt so happy then remembered it was a dream and felt sad. Went the loo then went back to bed and think it just picked off where it left off. Cruel.

And then I had a whole mundane dream where I got up and told mum about the first two dreams!

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TinselAndKnickers · 05/10/2019 11:12

Sorry for being so selfish on this thread Sad thanks everyone. I put up with so much shit from him and he doesn't give a fat fuck. He asked to be kept updated and I said if he's that bothered he can ask me Grin which he won't. I'm just really sad that he'd do this, it's completely out of character. I feel so so so sad. I can't be his friend ever

TinselAndKnickers · 05/10/2019 11:12

The screaming helped a Bit, I was in actual hysteria and I've never had that before

herbsmokedchicken · 05/10/2019 11:38

Don’t apologise, we are all here for each other!

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Jonsnowsghost · 05/10/2019 12:57

Yesterday I know I said I wasnt checking social media but the one time for the whole day (in the evening) i went on facebook messenger to message a group and of course he was online 🙄🙄 the one time all day!! Ha ha

KateK00 · 05/10/2019 13:21

I think we’re definitely done. He’s been at his parents’ all week. We’ve texted regularly but just about DD who is in hospital. He hasn’t come to see her or DS who is being looked after by my parents. Looks like I’m doing this on my own.

herbsmokedchicken · 05/10/2019 15:15

Oh wow he hasn’t come to see her? That’s awful

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KateK00 · 05/10/2019 18:23

He’s texted regularly asking about her, but yeah he can’t deal with seeing her so ill apparently Hmm

Lightinthedark · 05/10/2019 19:20

Hi everyone, I am 4 weeks in after leaving an abuser. He would however not class himself one. He is now stalking me and I am worried. He is very manipulative and convincing. I miss him. He is driving past locations where he knows I will be, and stopping to talk to me, however I tell him that I have nothing to say. He drove past my work, and I unblocked him to ask why only for him to send a pic of him sat on his sofa at home, and today was at the gym at the same time as me and came over wanting closure and just sat on the floor in front of me wanting to talk about our relationship, and he then he confessed to having been at my work.

It was really awkward and uncomfortable. People were looking. I really don't know what to do. Told the police about the abuse several times, and was told that a lot of women would not feel smothered when I explained that he lives his life through me. Goes everywhere where I go and I don't have any alone time without him. So I won't contact the police as they haven't got a clue. And this was a woman constable. So yeah, I am joining this fab club if I may so I can stay away. This is the fifth time I leave him. And I want to stay away.

herbsmokedchicken · 05/10/2019 22:25

Ugh I miss him. Why doesn’t he love me anymore? I just don’t understand how he can go from loving me so much to not wanting to be with me.

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rhubarb39 · 05/10/2019 22:37

I'm so sorry to read everyone's posts.. I was sat round the pool yesterday reading this thread thinking how sad people's posts were and how I hoped never to be in that situation again.. Jump to today and my OH has told me he's not been happy for a while and basically that's it.. I'm shocked.. Upset.. Lost... Oh did I mention were on holiday... I should be angry at how he's done it but I'm just so upset I can't see sense in any of it😢

rhubarb39 · 05/10/2019 23:56

Lightinthedark my ex stalked me, it was awful, I sympathise

TinselAndKnickers · 06/10/2019 09:32

Omg so people do stalk our thread and think we are all saddos Blush sorry you've had to join. It is really really crap but it's great to get your feelings out here. I'm not this miserable in real life!

herbsmokedchicken · 06/10/2019 10:18

@TinselAndKnickers yes I thought that too Blush

But @rhubarb39 I’m so sorry you’ve had to join us, I’ve read your thread - what a knob

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herbsmokedchicken · 06/10/2019 11:26

Aaaaargh why can’t I get past the denial stage???? It’s so frustrating that I know it’s over but I still can’t quite seem to believe it! A week till what would have been our anniversary - wondering if that’ll help it sink in.

OP posts:
BrokenHeartedAndBruised · 06/10/2019 14:22

Hi everyone. I'm still in bits. I can't believe someone treated me so shit.

TinselAndKnickers · 06/10/2019 14:52

Sorry you feel like that - I'm feeling kind of crap too, I try so hard not to wallow about but today I just need to be sad

herbsmokedchicken · 06/10/2019 16:34

I’m so bloody bored of feeling like this!

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TinselAndKnickers · 06/10/2019 16:53

I feel just disappointed today. If I have horrible news from the hospital idk whether to tell him or not

herbsmokedchicken · 06/10/2019 17:08

Have you any idea when you’ll hear back?

Flowers
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TinselAndKnickers · 06/10/2019 17:58

I have an appointment with a specialist on Thursday. Lots of blood and pain todaySad

BrokenHeartedAndBruised · 06/10/2019 18:23

Good luck with the appointment.
Hugs.

herbsmokedchicken · 06/10/2019 19:05

Good luck for Thursday 💖

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herbsmokedchicken · 06/10/2019 21:14

Instead of using my note function to write texts I’ll never send, I’ve started typing them in the chat then deleting them. I must stop. It’s a dangerous game.

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