Break up support thread 3

[herbsmokedchicken]

We’re all still here...

I told him I don't want to be his friend earlier today. I'm going to keep my distance - he knows what I'm going through and how to contact me so it's up to him now, I'm not going to chase

All I know is, if I was one of these girls he's speaking to and I found out he was still seeing his ex and saying he loved her I'd run a fucking mile!

@TinselAndKnickers that sounds a,great plan, very smart. Yes he knows how to contact you and he wont be afraid to if he wants too...

I agree too, the fact hes telling you he loves you, hes still got feelings and may be confused about what to do as well. I feel the same, mine telling me he loves me but hes moved in with his ex...actions speak louder than words but it definitely shows confusion or playing on their part.

I looked up apparently honeymoon phase usually lasts about 3 months before the gloss rubs off sometimes as little as one month, then the irritations begin and the sex drops off not to say I'd want him back, but useful to know when he may contact if he ever did.

Morning all! How are you feeling today tinsel? I’m not feeling as bad as last night so hope that lasts. But weekends are always hard. The last two Fridays before we broke up I didn’t actually end up seeing him (altho the last Friday we were together is when we’d have broken up if I’d seen him then and not the Sunday) so I’ve had like three months of not doing our usual Friday routine but still find it hard. Think like I said yesterday it’s going to hit me afresh a little bit now it’s coming up to a year and also now the weather is getting like how it was when we got together - just makes me remember the excitement of when it was all so new
Realised that next week when it would be our year anniversary it’s a Sunday so as well as being 12 months to the day that we became a couple, it’ll be 12 weeks to the day that he split with me. How neat and tidy.

@PuffinSock well it's been 3 months for his new relationship so here's hoping that the three months until the gloss rubs off is true 😅😅😅 but tbh think I'm just clutching at straws!

Just from whatsapp stalking (I have stopped now btw!!) They already don't talk as much throughout the day as they did a month or so ago 👀
Basing this on what he did with me which was talk constantly throughout the day, which we did every day for the whole time we were together, and then when he left he was similar for the first few months I was looking, then I had a break, then in the last few weeks it seems to have dropped quite a bit during the weekdays (can still tell they spend weekends together). Is it wrong that this makes me secretly pleased?? Not because I think it's the end of everything and he'll come back but because he isn't getting the same attention he did and it might be making him sad 😅

Oh and to add, if I didn't reply for a while (busy at work for example) he would still generally keep talking ha ha, not in a needy way, just a carrying on until I got back way

Damn why can't we edit... I'm not in a complete social media stalking amnesty. No looking at WhatsApp, Facebook messenger or instagram discover page at all for a week. If I can do a week I can do two, if I can do two I can do three and so on :)

I feel sad because I know he still doesn't want me and is off living a different life and happy, I should be proud of myself for saying I don't want to be his friend etc but I miss him so so much. I don't know if I imagined the feelings like if it was one sided or ????

If I see him tonight it will be interesting to see if he says hello or not! Just hope I don't

I feel so, so weird today - like it really feels like after work I’ll be going to his house and having our normal routine. I’m pretty sure it’s the weather change, and now it’s colder I’ve got a jumper on I’ve not worn since we were together, think it’s stupid stuff like that messing with my head but it’s making me feel so off kilter

This is so annoying! I know I will be going home alone after work but I feel like I’ll be going to A’s and doing our usual mundane weekend routine. Brains are annoying!!!

and now I’m getting the urge to text him! And not anything sappy, just the usual kind of stuff I’d text him day to day. Fucks sake.

I feel shit.

@Jonsnowsghost that's good they are on social media less...shows that their relationship is dropping off a bit like most do I guess, he is probably realising that there are imperfections 😉 good.

@TinselAndKnickers that sounds hard, seeing him must be really tough. I hope it goes ok.

@herbsmokedchicken it's odd isn't it, how things change. When my door bell went last week I expected it to be him (old habits) but knew it wasnt...I was really disappointed to see my friend even though that's who I was expecting

@PuffinSock I also noticed with the WhatsApp usage going down that being on facebook/instagram had gone up, even at the weekends I could see he'd been quite active when I'd barely see him be online before (not him posting, just either being online or liking stuff on insta) I'm going to take that as a good sign too I suppose :)

@herbsmokedchicken I have the urge to text him too! Really trying to stop myself.
Pleased to report I haven't checked his WhatsApp, facebook or instagram usage all day so far. That's (almost) day one out of the way!

He rang me earlier said that he must have pressed my number by mistake. Didn't sound that way though. He's in court next week, small chance he may go to prison for a driving offence. Think he just wanted to chat but he's got her for that now. He said he wants to come and see my on Sunday don't know if he will. He's probably so worried about court and what he has or hasnt done and wants that familiarity before he goes but I just want him back then none of this would have happened. I can't stop crying it's awful

I didn’t text him but god I wanted to! Even tho I knew full well he wouldn’t be there after work, my heart still skipped a beat when I saw a similar car! Ugh. So sick of this. So sick of desperately wanting something I’m not going to have again. POO. POO, I SAY.

Well done on not checking jonsnow! I wish I could say the same...

@jonsnowsghost to me that definitely confirms that the gloss has worn off their relationship. Even in the most 'perfect' love people get bored/tired/annoyed by their partner. I expect there have been/will be times he will wonder about you.

Weirdly I'm not tempted to text at all...I think because I feel I've said all I need to say, so if he wants me he needs to contact me. I'm still sad that hes gone

Hello people. How’s everyone today? I’m feeling meh. Should be excited as I’m going to Florida in a week and a half. I need to think that I’m a strong independent woman and it’s completely his loss. I believe that he is going to go back with the woman he slept with whilst we were broke up the first time. Well he will display the same behaviour with her, probably not yet as it will be roses but the cracks will show xx

@PuffinSock the only thing that stops me thinking that the gloss is coming off is that he deleted the only photo of us two from his instagram, but it was 3 weeks ago I last looked so that could have been any time 🤷🏻‍♀️ however, as of Tuesday there were still a few other photos of me up (they'll probably go at some point - he has literally zero photos of any exes on his Instagram) so that is a little odd, he could have deleted them all when he did the one of us both 🤔 imagine if they found out how much we are all analysing things ha ha

Had a little cry and feeling slightly better. I’m due on so that’s not helping. Just can’t seem to stop thinking about how good it was and wondering why he stopped loving me

How’s everyone else’s friday going? Had another big crying session, lol. Just feeling sad and flat now. I’m going to try to keep it at bay but I think for various reasons the next week or so are going to be pretty shit, with the weather and the anniversary and stuff. I’m hoping once I’m used to the weather and I’ve hit the anniversary, things will ease up. Just fucking hard coz it really highlights how good things were. And I miss it so much! Ugh.

Fucking awful night - my friend got taken to a&e, didn't even see my ex or the act I'd paid for. Stupid drinking. My first night out in ages. so angry I drove home instead of staying over.

I sobbed and screamed on the way home, a proper hysterical breakdown like you'd see in a bad film. I've lost the plot. I love him more than anything but nothing will make him want me back - he will never ever know that I feel this way. Never. As far as he's concerned I'm thriving! But really I'm dying.

@TinselAndKnickers oh that sounds really hard! I think you're doing the right thing by 'thriving' in his eyes, do you really think he doesnt know how much he means to you? Maybe you could email him and then walk away? So he knows and can come to you but you wont beg? I did something similar, I emailed him a sincere but brief explanation of how I loved him etc, then wished him the best and walked away. I'm sad but also feel content that if he wants me he knows the score and can come and find me.

@herbsmokedchicken sounds so hard too. I have times I cry, often odd times like when I make the bed just for one and get reminded...I hope you can find some things you enjoy doing this weekend, to take your mind off it.

For the first time since we broke up I had a dream where he told me he wanted to be back with me and not with her....I think this thread is influencing my subconscious too much 😅😅

@PuffinSock bless you. Such a brave thing to do. He knows I love him - we will probably not ever speak again tbh as he won't reach out. It makes me sick that whilst I'm sat waiting to see if I have cancer or not, he's out on the pull. He'd only ever slept with me so I think he wants his wild lad phase now - he's out with friends he didn't even like before and is now begging it off them when he hasn't seen them for three years. he will never ever want me back and I know that but I still hope, and I shouldn't because he's acting like a fat twat.