Break up support thread 3

[herbsmokedchicken]

We’re all still here...

Just tops off the terrible day I've had really

So sorry you're feeling shit today. I haven't replied to him still and today I saw his car slow down as he went past my office!!!! he knows where I'm working now (same place he is based for a few months) and I could see from the upstairs window so he wouldn't have seen me sneaky. Don't think he wants me back though he's just a bit curious.

Oh jonsnow that’s shit, reminds me of when I realised he’d removed me from insta (you may remember that freakout) and when he’d started untagging himself in our photos together. It hurts.

But tonight I made a spaghetti bolognese for the first time and it’s probably one of the nicest things I’ve ever made. And I’d have made it for him and he’d have loved it but he dumped me so now he doesn’t get to have that or my much adored brownies so SUCK ON THAT AND STARVE ha! I am sure he has my FB muted so won’t see the pics but childishly I like to imagine him seeing them and realising what he’s missing out on (aside from me obvs and I clearly wasn’t enough for him so don’t think a spag bol is going to make him come crawling back but ho hum)

tinsel that’s so weird! But yes prob curiosity or something.

I keep thinking of all the times he was nice to me.
The times he wasn't.
That he is probably with her now.
I know that in the long run I've probably had a narrow escape.
But it still hurts.

You have had a lucky escape and one day you will see it, but I know that’s hard right now. But you’re well off out of it there.

There we go, problems solved ladies

Boom, sorted!

Actually I’ve been speaking to a guy on tinder today who seems quite nice but have realised he works with A which makes me feel weird. Don’t think they know each other well or anything tho cos I’ve never heard his name or anything.

Thanks herb. Still in bits.

Yeah I bet. Have you considered counselling or anything? You have a lot of emotions to untangle I bet. For me it’s all very straightforward and I think I’ve just got to work towards not feeling sad all the time, but you’ve gone through actual trauma.

He’s working in the next city over this week and my friend happened to see him, they don’t know each other but he recognised him. Told him to yeet something at A’s head but he selfishly refused.

I don't really want to try counselling.
It won't give closure.

What I really want is for him to come back, say he's made a terrible mistake and that he can't live with himself for hurting me. And apologise for all the lies he told me.

I might as well ask for a pet unicorn and for father christmas to be real.

What makes no sense is how he was so nice to me then slowly he started to twist things. Accuse me of about four things and trotting these out again and again and again.
What a b***d.
Still, I remember the good times and hope.

Written down it looks like abuse.

I've tried to stay off here because I feel it encourages me to dwell on things, but it is somewhere to get things off my chest.
Thanks.

It IS abuse. It looks like abuse because it is. You’ve not gone into details but I’ve gotten the gist from your posts. I don’t want to push you away cos I don’t know you but him getting out of your life is the best thing for you.

Yes, and I have to keep on going. You're not pushing me away.
It helps to know that other people have some idea of the pain and anger and grief.

I feel like I have lost what I thought was for ever, my future, my best friend, lover, the centre of my world. I feel like I almost lost my sanity.
But really I lost an abusive bully. How much of the time we were together was just a sham?

I don't know if I can ever trust anyone again.
I won't get closure on the what was really going on and how long for unless he tells me, but after the lies...

If he came back I would probably welcome him back with open arms, even though I shouldn't. But he won't.

It seems to be no contact. I've not contacted him for a couple of months. He has phoned once, but I have blocked him now.

That’s good that you’ve blocked him. Sorry for getting a bit shouty but I think it’s really important for you to try and acknowledge that he is a nasty piece of work and your life is going to be better without him. I know that will take a while to believe.

Thanks.

I’m really missing mine today I mean I am every day but today I am a lot.

So I said yesterday I was talking to a guy that A worked with, he was messaging me consistently until about half three but he said he’d done a night shift so figured maybe he’d gone to sleep or something, I’d sent the last text so didn’t text again. Partly due to not being that fussed even tho it was a nice chat and also I’m trying not to double, triple text people to get their attention anymore. When I went on tinder yesterday we were still matched. When I went on this morning, unmatched! I’m not overly fussed, like I say it was a nice chat but tbh not really ready to date again anyway, but I was still like oh ok then! Always makes me wonder why they’ve done it! But meh. Should delete the apps really, part of the reason I went on them was to see if A was on and I know he’s not gonna be now seeing as he’s leaving.

Good morning. Thanks for letting me vent yesterday. Hope you are all ok.

I'm having some kind of mild anxiety attack that they are engaged and living together, how have I even got that into my head?! But it won't leave! Argh it's really stressing me out.

It's because I have to present at work today and I hate presenting but that's how the anxiety has manifested itself :(

Oh I know what you mean, I was convinced of the same the other week remember? I mean I did kind of know something was up cos he is leaving but I was convinced he was getting an arranged marriage and I was so panicked. It’s horrible isn’t it?

Good luck if you haven’t done your presentation yet!