Break up support thread 3

[herbsmokedchicken]

We’re all still here...

Sorry to hear that @Pittlepops :(
Really want to tell him that I miss him, so badly. So I'm telling you lot! Miss him so much.

Why is he still with her :(

Don't you bloody dare I'm really into my horoscopes atm and today it says this... so I'm sticking to it I know it's probably all bollocks but it's handy to have something to remind me to be kind to myself.

Sobbing here like an idiot all over again. On the plus side I did loose a stone in the month I wasn’t with him, so total lost is 2 stone 😊
How’s everyone else getting on? X

Shit! See above 😅 really missing him, hate that he is still with her and it's not fizzled out yet. Just so sad :(

It will just give it time

Oh we are all doing well! Don’t think weekends are ever good for us tho. I’m feeling sad, in two weeks today it’ll be a year since we got together and I should be so excited and we should be planning something lovely to celebrate and instead I’ll be all alone and the only thing he’s planning is his move back home. And then that’s made me think about Christmas, I’d never been in a relationship at Christmas before and it was so amazing having him to spend it with and this year I’ll be back on my own. Why has this happened? Why doesn’t he love me anymore? For the most part I’m over the bewildered stage but every now and again it hits me and I’m just like, what? We are not together? How has this happened?

@Pittlepops it's been 3 months, 3 months too long! Hopefully it'll fizzle out soon... he's "easy going" though so he's likely to just go along with it even if it's not what he wants...presumably why he was with me for a year and a half if he wasnt "that happy" 🙄🙄

Uuuugh just had a big sobbing session. It’s not bloody fair!!! We were so happy! I just want him back. I want him back so much. It took me so long to find him and now he’s gone

It’s just occurred to me that there are probably lurkers on this thread thinking “oh for fucks sake they’re all having a big pity party again”

He’s gone to stay at his parents’ house tonight and DS has had to go to my parents’ for the night as all my time is taken up with poor DD who’s been bed bound all weekend. I can’t see DD getting better and I’m not sure me and DP can survive through her illness. I feel kind of numb.
Well done everyone on getting through the weekend

@Pittlepops I'm so sorry, that's awful. Hard as it is I think you need to go NC again, this time for longer. If/when he comes back time insist on changes and counselling and whatever you need to make it work. Hope you're ok ☹

@herbsmokedchicken I agree, I would cringe to read back my posts, but IRL I was told to move on and forget about him etc (good advice) so I'm happy to meet you all and share all our stories of woe I'm not good at heartbreak.

@TinselAndKnickers same, normally I work hard at whatever the challenge in life is and succeed, but love seems to have different rules 🙈

@Jonsnowsghost I think 3 months is still honeymoon phase, any clues as to whether hes happy? I think it may be a bit longer before he would move on, but hopefully you will replace him with someone wonderful.

@rowlett any news? Hope you're ok.

@KateK00 that's so hard and pressure, hope you and you DD are ok today.

Well I'm still upset but I feel I've moved to accepting now. The thought of never seeing him again was heartbreaking. He sent me a short email explaining that he loves me and will always, but hes moved on as he wants to be with her. I'm happy he loves me but sad that he has moved on and chosen to be with her. I guess like you @jonsnowsghost it will be several months at least before they would decide whether it's working. I doubt he will keep in contact. Maybe I will meet someone wonderful new...

My gut tells me if a man can move on like that then he wont return, it isn't true love? I wonder if they ever return? (Burning question for lots of us lol)

So I guess I have to wish him well and move on.

I only have WhatsApp last seen and facebook messenger online to go on so I have no idea! But I know him and I think he'll be well into it at this point :( I honestly think it'll be some kind of great destined love and I'll never see him again. Which of course I don't want it to be!
Like today he hasn't been on WhatsApp since 3pm yesterday, so that to me shows that he's off today and stayed with her - as he normally would text in the evening and morning. So they'll be off doing something fun today no doubt. I'm so sad, i really shouldn't check these things. I'm in no way ready to move on but its damaging.

Sorry you've all had a rubbish weekend. Weekends really are the worst, thinking about what fun things they'll be doing with someone else while we try to pick up the pieces of our broken hearts. Mine asked my to watch a movie with him last night. Probably because she was busy. I'm over being second best. 5 years and that's what he thinks of me! A stand in when she's got other plans!

Ugh Monday already. Took me ages to get to sleep. Not feeling as upset as I was yesterday so hopefully going back to feeling sort of ok. I’m at a weird stage, like I still kind of can’t believe it, especially when I remember how happy we were, but I also can’t imagine us getting back together, like when we first split I’d imagine all sorts of ways he’d come back whereas now if I even try to indulge myself in a little daydream it just doesn’t work, I can’t picture it. He had his chance last week and it was clear he still felt he’d made the right decision so I have to accept that it’s over but it’s so hard.

Hi all, thanks again @PuffinSock for thinking of me! Was going to check in last night but just ended up sort of zoning out until bedtime. Unfortunately nothing new to report, still no "signs of life" on any social media or anything from him (that sounds very macabre but couldn't think of a better way to put it). I actually sobbed down the phone the other day relaying/explaining the whole situation in great detail to someone who didn't know about it yet (it was a male friend although in this situation I suppose male or female opinion would just be the same because the situation makes no sense!!!). Anyway this friend said from all the evidence it sounds like the guy did/does really like me and was moving things forward and that it's not anything to do with me specifically but something going on in his life, which is what I've been thinking but it's good to hear from another third party. WOULD BE BETER TO HEAR FROM HIM THOUGH... I know I should probably be getting over it by now (I really identified with what you said about people in real life saying we need to move on and this thread being a sanctuary, lol) but I do still miss him, I do still want to do all the things we were going to do Still feel really down about it.

Anyway while I was zoning out last night I got a notification from instagram that I had a new follower and I was SHOCKED to see it was a guy I had hooked up with a few times around this time ALMOST EXACTLY ONE YEAR AGO... he was always nice to me and the sex was very nice lol but we ended up just sort of naturally drifting apart because he worked very long hours and I started feeling that I wanted to look for something more serious and for various reasons that wouldn't have worked out with him (and still wouldn't now). He liked a few of my photos and I naturally took the bait and messaged him asking "do I know you?" haha. He said I came up on his "suggested" list (we do have some mutual friends) and he got nostalgic or something!!! Men will never cease to baffle me. AFTER A YEAR??? I'm expecting him to vanish again soon tbh.

I'm sorry everyone else is still having a rough time too

@herbsmokedchicken I'm really dreading Christmas too It was really looking like I'd have someone to spend it with and to spoil a little bit (I really love buying unique and special gifts for people that I know they'll love) and now instead it's just going to be lonely again by the looks of it...

Hi all

I posted on one of the other breakup threads but didnt come back to it.

3 weeks since my ex moved out, about 5.5 weeks since we decided to split up.

Initially after he first left we kept in contact. Pretty amicable split as just didnt want the same things. We spoke daily for Id say the first 11 days. I asked for a few days space last week to try and get my head around things. Didnt speak for 3 days, then saw him mid last week to collect something of mine. Not spoken now since Thursday. Hitting home now...

I'm dreading Christmas too. We had a super christmassy day last year picking a tree, buying decorations, having a christmas dinner and then putting it all up :( sad I wont do that this year

Ohno I think a little frisson of hope has worked its way back in. Where did you come from, you naughty thing?

Guess who's bloody messaged me with their timetable for the week after I specifically planned for him to not!!!! It's like they've got a little radar.

Typical!

Urgh I accidentally saw she has a public instagram account too that is pictures if her new house being done up (yes I looked :() he's there in the photos of course helping her :( I guess when it's done he'll probably move in. Really sad now, why did I look :( I miss him so much and I hate that they're together doing coupley things like that

I feel sick thinking about it, why did I look :(