Break up support thread 3

[herbsmokedchicken]

We’re all still here...

Statistically rebound relationships don't work, but there's always that small amount that do :(

So close to driving to his house and dumping all his shit on his doorstep in the rain.

@Jonsnowsghost oh interesting statistic. I wonder what percentage return to their previous love 🙈🤔😂

@TinselAndKnickers nice one 😁 I'd probably be tempted to lose some of his stuff...

Pretty sure I read it was like 90% don't work but don't quote me on that! Ha ha I think that is wishful thinking, but I'm on the same wavelength!
I don't know how long the relationships last with that statistic either...
God I'd love them to break up, so much, then he'd have two relationships to mourn

When do you think we will all move on?

@TinselAndKnickers I'm not sure how long, apparently the less contact you have the better...but I'm still wishfully waiting for a text 🙈 I have spent some time with an ex boyfriend (who knows it's just friends) and even slept with him to try to get over it, but i felt worse as I just wished for my lost boyfriend back.

@TinselAndKnickers I don’t think there’s a timeframe sadly! In a few months you could be feeling fine whereas I could still be feeling shit altho hope I’m not! I’ve read a few articles and they all basically say it takes as long as it takes.

I might try for a random shag tbh soon just to see how I feel probably shit. I'm also hoping for contact! What a bunch of mugs we all are. Stay strong ladies!!

@Jonsnowsghost yeah I know the feeling...i thought it through though and i reckon mine wont return to me even if they split up. It would have been much easier for him to be with me than the new woman (I'm in a cheaper area, closer to his family and work etc) so the fact he chose her means I'm completely dismissed.

I've got my dating profile going, sadly I haven't got much sense of humour or enthusiasm atm so it might be a bit longer before I'm trying to impress anyone...

I reckon how long probably depends on the intensity of the relationship, how long you were together, whether there was cheating involved etc, plus personal factors I suppose. Maybe we can motivate each other.

I do know that these guys are very unlikely to be bothered like we are by the break ups, which kind of makes me want to move on...but then I miss him again.

I’ve had my dating profile up for ages, mainly to see if he was on (he wasn’t, said he’s “kind of enjoying being single” thanks pal, good to know being alone is noticeable better than being with me) but the last few weeks have tried to take it more seriously but god there’s some dross on there! Thing is where I live there just aren’t many other options to meet men, I was so relieved when I found A and could stop looking! Not that I feel ready to date. Some guys seem ok but like...they’re not him.

Uuuuugh had a dream we got back together luckily starting to fade, we somehow ended up discussing getting back together over text and I went over there and we ended up kissing and cuddling in his bed (woke up before it went further lol) and it just felt so natural and real

I had a dream about him still being with her 🙄 reality really!

@herbsmokedchicken ugh what a harsh dream. His comment about being single is I find it strange that these guys encourage and fully participate in all the romanticism, love etc but then cut-off.

I had another rubbish night of sleep. I keep waking panicking that I'll never see him again. I haven't asked to see him but as hes moved to another area I doubt I ever will. Any tips for moving on and getting over the pain gratefully received! I think it was the lack of communication and blind siding that has completely frightened me.

Ugh that sucks! I can’t decide which is worse, a false hope dream that is nice at the time but then leads to crushing reality when you wake up, or a realistic dream that is horrible the whole time but at least you don’t need to tumble back down to earth...

@PuffinSock yeah at the time I didn’t think much of it but later I was like oh cheers. He is very heavily introverted, he gets exhausted spending loads of time with people, even family, and at first he didn’t have that issue with me. So I get what he means but still.

Yeah it’s surprisingly scary isn’t it, as well as just sad? Unless I run into him before he leaves, I won’t see him again and I hate it.

@herbsmokedchicken that makes sense, I know no relationship is 'perfect' as we all have different personalities, it sounds like he may find it hard in future! Although I haven't seen mine for about 6 weeks and when he first gave me the news I didnt want to see him, I have still found it really hard now he has actually moved away. Hopefully you may be stronger than me, it's like the reality has really sunk in now. I'm seeing a friend after work on Tuesday for the evening so hopefully that will distract me.

@PuffinSock yeah he has said that himself, that he wonders if he is able to be with someone long term. I guess we will see.

Yeah I feel like the reality still hasn’t completely sunk in! I just miss him!

That’ll be good to see friends, it does help.

Ughhhh so sorry for all of the dreams. I didn't dream of him last night which is good.

I haven't given up on him & I won't, but do need to get on with my own life.

@TinselAndKnickers I really admire your strength last night! I've been trying to think of strategies to get on with life. My friend said 'fake it til you make it' she suggests getting on with all the activities and hobbies previously enjoyed, even if feeling really sad and upset, then hopefully in time life will get back to normality...without the man.

@puffinsock I think your friend is right. Try and get on with all the thing we used to do and enjoy, maybe eventually that will become the new norm. It's so difficult though isn't it. I'm trying to do those things but as soon as I close the door I'm back to an empty house that don't feel like home again.

I'm faking it till I make it too good advice. It's so not in my nature to give up on people so I find it really hard.

Hi all...do you remember me?
Well I’m back. For people that don’t know me from this group my husband left me around 8 weeks ago. We were split for a month. I went no contact after 2 weeks and he decided he wanted me back however when we got back a month ago he told me that he had slept with someone else during the month we had split up. Absolutely heartbroken. I texted the woman and she told me that we’re actually seeing each other rather than the one night stand he told me. Anyway I decided to give my marriage one more chance. We have been back together for about a month now and everything was okish. On Friday night he decided to leave me again. So I am back at square one feeling horrific. All the same feelings I had in the beginning. And before I got back with him I was starting to feel ok in myself.
Feel pathetic. And so upset. Xx

Oh no sorry you're back again. He wants the best of both worlds - kick him to the curb. We're all still here. Xxx

Oh I’m so sorry, I had wondered about you. How awful.