Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Break up support thread 3

999 replies

herbsmokedchicken · 20/09/2019 21:01

We’re all still here...

OP posts:
PuffinSock · 27/09/2019 23:00

@TinselAndKnickers good plan 😊

I'm struggling tonight. There is a 'special' kind of horrible heart ache knowing the person you love is far away snuggled in bed with someone else. Whilst you lay alone ☹

TinselAndKnickers · 27/09/2019 23:04

Yep - it feels like death. I wonder who he's speaking to tonight Hmm prick's the lot of them

Gigimum · 28/09/2019 00:02

He left, came back, we decided to work things out and now he's dropped the bombshell she is pregnant, but still wants me and all this in a week, my head is screwed, What do I do

KateK00 · 28/09/2019 01:34

Hi, was going to NC for this but I’m just going to go for it. Can I tentatively ask to join as I think me and DP might be splitting up. We’re still young and haven’t been together all that long but have 2 DCs, one who is unwell. He’s just gone back into education and he’s met someone he likes and who likes him too Hmm He’s been honest about it but neither of us are sure exactly where we go from here. We’ve been under a lot of pressure as a couple recently because of DD’s illness, we’re still not sure what’s wrong exactly but she has major stomach issues which she is now on steroids for which have made her very bloated and not the happy little girl she used to be. She’s only one so this has been very tough on all of us. Sorry to go slightly off topic, I just needed to write it all down really. Thanks all, take care everyone Flowers

TinselAndKnickers · 28/09/2019 01:52

SadSad

PuffinSock · 28/09/2019 06:39

@TinselAndKnickers it does make me want to never love again. My mind is telling me though that if hes now far away living with her then I'm not anything to him, so I need to stop caring about him.

@Gigimum what!!! That's terrible, so much to take in, I think it will take a while to process and make decisions. Hope you're ok.

@KateK00 so sorry you're going through this. You've got children with him yet hes done this. So sad.

Gigimum · 28/09/2019 06:59

I'm not ok , I just feel nothing, I've not shouted, cried, got angry and that's worrying me. I've not eaten properly all week and had nothing at all for 2 days now. I feel like a zombie. I'm acting normal in front of the kids, don't want to hurt them til I have to but when they are not there or in bed I'm just blank. I need to let my emotions out but can't.

Original poster
herbsmokedchicken · 28/09/2019 08:20

Oh dear, more new people, so sorry you’re in this position. But anything you want to say you can say here.

11 weeks since our last normal Saturday together, 10 weeks tomorrow since we last split and 1 week since he got back in touch for us to go for our “closure” chat altho not spoken to him since. Dreamed about him twice so have woken up missing him so much.

OP posts:
Original poster
herbsmokedchicken · 28/09/2019 08:43

“Since we last split” ignore the word last there, we’d never split before.

OP posts:
TinselAndKnickers · 28/09/2019 09:13

So sorry for the new people. It's shit. But we're here Smile

Puffin I agree, I never want to go through this again. I don't understand how he said he loved me and wanted a house with me to just nothing? Never wanting to see me? Idiot.

I know I've said this before and I'm 100% not a woman hater and I realise these girls have done nothing wrong so it's horrible of me, but the standard of the girls he's going for is not exactly great and half of them run MLM pages and are really beggy, so he must be desperate. Sad hurts even more because he'd rather have them.

Original poster
herbsmokedchicken · 28/09/2019 09:33

Oh god, he’s going after hunbots? It’s like they’re afraid to be happy so they just fuck it up instead

OP posts:
TinselAndKnickers · 28/09/2019 09:55

Sad I feel so shit about it for god sake. We're going to be at the same club/party and I need him to know I'll be there so he's on edge because if I see him with another girl I'll flip my fucking shitBlush

Jonsnowsghost · 28/09/2019 11:13

@puffinsock agree about that special kind of heart ache, it really hurts :(

PuffinSock · 28/09/2019 12:01

@TinselAndKnickers I get what you're saying, it's so hard when they've chosen someone else, its impossible to know why and at face value it's even harder when it seems like they've chosen someone 'less' than you.

@jonsnowsghost hope you're doing ok today. Mine messaged that he misses me and loves me 🤔 I will ignore, as I think its guilt and/or he wants to hook up when hes bored in the future. If it were true he wouldn't be with her, hes definitely committed to staying with her as they are living together. I'm sure it wont all be paradise and obviously he thought the grass was greener with her, so I will be NC and in time hopefully become the legendary love that he lost 😉

I wonder if when there are bad patches in these new relationships they wonder if they made a mistake...hopefully we will all be in wonderful new relationships by then.

TinselAndKnickers · 28/09/2019 12:04

How fucking cheeky!!! Men think they can have it all. Well done for ignoring!

Jonsnowsghost · 28/09/2019 12:33

Wow @PuffinSock! Definitely seems like he wants to keep you on the back burner. I dont think mine will ever speak to me again, or miss me, or anything but I like to think he might one day. It was such a quick rebound/turn around to a new relationship that he has had no chance to think about our relationship and what he has lost. But I'm sure he's much happier now and they will likely be together a long time so i try not to think about it too much :(

TinselAndKnickers · 28/09/2019 12:35

I want mine to come crawling back but I know that he never will.

Imagiraffe · 28/09/2019 13:11

@Puffinsock I'm in the same situation as you. You speak such sense, I wish I could be like you. My head says he's not coming back because he's moved in with her. But when he's still saying he loves me I just want him back. He gave my £100 as a gift on Thursday and told me to have a nice weekend with it because he's attending an event with her and will be having a good time and he wants me to have a good weekend too. It doesn't make sense, we could be having a nice weekend together. Why does he not want me? We used to go out together all the time and now she's replaced me.

Jonsnowsghost · 28/09/2019 13:12

In the same boat with feeling replaced :( he doesn't and won't talk to me but I know he is spending all his time with her now, when I'm all alone :( I'd love him to make contact one day.

Imagiraffe · 28/09/2019 13:20

In a way I find having the contact worse. When I see him he's so nice to me and says he misses me and will always love me. He makes an excuse to see me every week and we have slept together about once a week for the last 2 months . But it can't be true that he lives me as he's been living with her since he left me. Every day I wish they'd argue and he'd come back but it doesn't happen so he must be happier where he is.

Jonsnowsghost · 28/09/2019 13:22

That is worse, you shouldn't be sleeping together if he's with someone!

Honestly I was truly hoping it would have been over by now and he would have realised what he's done and come back to me. The grass must be greener :(

Imagiraffe · 28/09/2019 13:28

No I know @jonsnowsghost it's an awful situation but I just want him back. We were together 5 years. He was and still is my best friend. I love him with all my heart. I know what I am doing is very wrong.

TinselAndKnickers · 28/09/2019 14:25

Giraffe in the nicest way possible, he isn't going to come back because you're giving him the best of both worlds. Why would he come back when he doesn't have to? You deserve a best friend who treats you better than that!

Imagiraffe · 28/09/2019 14:43

@Tinselandknickers I really wish I was strong enough to just cut contact. I can see his family house from my front door so no contact at all is difficult but I will get strong enough eventually to say I'm busy when he calls I hope. I'm not doing myself any favours am I?

TinselAndKnickers · 28/09/2019 14:44

You have to block him if you need to - be kind to yourself Sad take it from me, as hard as it is, it's got to be done

Swipe left for the next trending thread