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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

He's locked us in

305 replies

Bubsworth · 20/09/2019 08:51

Need to leave physically aggressive husband. He has been physical before occasionally but the last two nights he has left marks on me. We have a small baby. Husband currently asleep upstairs but appears to have hidden the. Keys so I'm locked in the house. Too scared to casually ask him where keys are. No one knows the real him his best friend thinks I'm crazy and irrational because of what husband tells him. So scared he will try to take the baby and use my extreme post natal anxiety I had against me. What do I do right now?

OP posts:
mogloveseggs · 20/09/2019 11:13

Definitely police. And sibling.
You will need records of his abuse so do tell them.
Sending lots of strength and hope.

katewhinesalot · 20/09/2019 11:16

Great advice above. Please don't do nothing and lurch from this crisis to the next one.

HappyHammy · 20/09/2019 11:23

I hope you and your baby are safe and try to stay strong, we are all here to help youFlowers

ChristinaMarlowe · 20/09/2019 11:23

Police. Now.
There's nothing to fear from SS.
Post natal anxiety is extremely common - I had it with both DD and was honest with every HCP I came into contact with (which was a fair few as readmitted to hospital when I had a second PPH 2 weeks post birth and was rushed back in. I couldn't believe how many women, including two doctors and an anaesthetist, plus a couple of midwives and nurses, who totally empathised as they had it themselves. One doctor was lovely and said she was scared to leave the bedroom with second DC and no amount of knowledge or sense could shift the fear. She had it worse than I did and assured me it was normal but under studied and could be far more common than pnd. It's not a crime or a sign of a bad mother!

Please call the police now. Go to siblings and make baby and yourself safe. Please let us know how you are later when you are in a safe place.

Make the call for your baby. Please.

81Byerley · 20/09/2019 11:24

It takes an awful lot for social services to take away a baby from a mother, and they understand about PND. You have marks on you. Call the police. Why do you think social services would take a baby away from a loving mother, however depressed, and give the child to a violent man ? They wouldn't. Your arsehole of a husband can't explain the marks that he has left on you, and your distress will speak volumes. Please, call the police.

Mummyoflittledragon · 20/09/2019 11:25

I hope you and your baby are safe. Flowers

AnyFucker · 20/09/2019 11:29

.

OkayGo · 20/09/2019 11:34

Are you ok op? Worried about you

Drum2018 · 20/09/2019 11:37

Shocking behaviour. Hope you have managed to contact police or a sibling to help you.

Gruzinkerbell1 · 20/09/2019 11:40

Can you climb out of a window?

Freddiemercuarysmoustache · 20/09/2019 11:41

Please let us know u r ok bubs 'x

Apolloanddaphne · 20/09/2019 11:43

I hope you are okay OP. I am a SW and have dealt with situations like yours. We can see through people like your DH. You have marks on you and you have a small baby. SS would support you in keeping away from him, they would not remove your child. Please call the police and get to safety.

HeartStrings · 20/09/2019 11:45

Hi OP,
I don't think SS will remove your child for PND, it's really common and a lot of mothers get it but if anything SS will help you instead. I hope you find a way out, giving you a handhold right now

HeartStrings · 20/09/2019 11:46

Oh and take a picture of the marks he has left on you for evidence before they heal up and disappear

Illberidingshotgun · 20/09/2019 11:54

Please, please contact the police. Look at your forces website, many of them now have online forms if you are worrried about the noise of a phone call.

I know I'm reiterating everything that everyone else has said, but SS won't take your baby away from you, but will be concerned if you continue to remain in this environment and do nothing about it, and they are involved later down the line.

Take photos of the marks if you have not already done so.

SunshineCake · 20/09/2019 12:05

Where are you Bubsworth? If you are near me I would come round, be a new friend and invite for a walk in the sunshine. Let us help you.

CircleofWillis · 20/09/2019 12:11

Sunshine that's seems like a lovely offer but in the circumstances could be dangerous for both of you. Neither of you has any real idea of who is behind a username. You could be an abuser lining up your next target or the OP could even be the partner in disguise. Sorry OP I'm pretty sure you are not but wanted to illustrate possibilities.

OP I would defiantly let your siblings know what is going on and get the police to take you there once you have managed to get out.

StarStarBright · 20/09/2019 12:35

@Bubsworth - are you reading this still? Like everyone else, I’m willing you to please contact the police. Protect yourself and your precious baby. He’s a monster and won’t change!

I’ve had PND myself and didn’t admit it for a long time. Whenever I’ve happened to mention it, I’ve only ever come across support and empathy. SS won’t take your baby from you, but you do need to get away from this place!! Thinking of you x

Windygate · 20/09/2019 12:37

Bubsworth if you are the poster I think you are you've only just moved in to a very isolated house. You need to contact someone for support.

MrsNotNice · 20/09/2019 12:37

Sad are you Ok OP? We are all here behind you worried about you. Plz look after yourself.

emojisarentwords · 20/09/2019 12:47

Shocking behaviour indeed...

SeaSaltandLime · 20/09/2019 12:58

Roughly where are you Bubs? If close to me I'd also be willing to pop round to you.

Please let us know that you're safe.

Skyejuly · 20/09/2019 13:03

This sounds like my past. I'm worried about you.

Aridane · 20/09/2019 13:04

Please get help

Yadid · 20/09/2019 13:09

Police aren't going to take your child. But your partner could harm both of you.