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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

He's locked us in

305 replies

Bubsworth · 20/09/2019 08:51

Need to leave physically aggressive husband. He has been physical before occasionally but the last two nights he has left marks on me. We have a small baby. Husband currently asleep upstairs but appears to have hidden the. Keys so I'm locked in the house. Too scared to casually ask him where keys are. No one knows the real him his best friend thinks I'm crazy and irrational because of what husband tells him. So scared he will try to take the baby and use my extreme post natal anxiety I had against me. What do I do right now?

OP posts:
Thelaughinggnome123 · 20/09/2019 10:14

Please call the police now, the fact that he has left marks will be all the proof you need.

ChevalierTialys · 20/09/2019 10:14

Get a sibling to come and help and baby climb through a window? I hope you are ok OP, please let us know what is happening.

Outnumbered99 · 20/09/2019 10:16

Sending you lots of love and strength op, the advice on here is spot on. Will be thinking of you today and the days to come. x

JJSS123 · 20/09/2019 10:19

If you are calling the police it will be seen you are trying to protect your baby you will not be in the wrong with SS!!!

Shortfeet · 20/09/2019 10:32

Please call the police . Get out

cakeandchampagne · 20/09/2019 10:32

Your baby cannot contact the police- it is up to you.
Flowers
What will your baby’s life be like if he disables you or kills you?

madcatladyforever · 20/09/2019 10:39

Your baby will not be taken from you. I was worried about this too with my first husband but he got precisely nowhere, my black eye didn't help him.
Call the police NOW, they will remove him and assess your injuries and that will be the end of him I pronise they will not believe his lies.
It only takes one step to be free and this is your chance. DO IT.
The windows aren't locked surely. I escaped through a window once then rang the police.

timetomakeachange1987 · 20/09/2019 10:40

Please leave. Speak to the police, but if you can't face them yet please at least speak to womens aid.

Tiresiasmum · 20/09/2019 10:42

Ring the police immediately. Also, you mention post-natal anxiety - have you a counsellor supporting you with that. Talk to your GP and explain what's happening.

ShutupWesley · 20/09/2019 10:42

SS are more likely to take your baby off you if you don't ring the police. You will be seen as protecting him and putting your baby at risk. He could kill your baby, in fact he is the biggest risk to your baby's life. Please ring the police... Now.

FairiesontheSwing · 20/09/2019 10:46

Do you have windows big enough to get out of safely so you can go to your siblings?

chocorabbit · 20/09/2019 10:46

SS are more likely to take your baby off you if you don't ring the police.
EXACTLY

If you call the police he cannot innocently claim that you abducted his child, poor him :( and manipulate the situation.

Right now you HAVE the bruises and it is a UNIQUE opportunity to PROVE the abuse. AND you are locked at home. You have to act now.

Siablue · 20/09/2019 10:46

I have just left an abusive relationship with a baby. I had fears about social services and my mental health. They were contacted but didn’t come and do an assessment as I had left him.
I hope you are safe now. If not do call the police. They will see your bruises and help you get medical attention. This will all be documented to help you if he goes to court to try and get contact with your baby.

My mental health has got massively better since I left (it has only been two weeks) just because I am away from him. Don’t let him use it as a stick to beat you with.

Branleuse · 20/09/2019 10:46

Social services do not remove children from women fleeing abuse. They are more concerned if people dont protect their children from abusers.
You need to get out now

SierraHotelIndiaTangoHappens · 20/09/2019 10:48

OP please let us know you are okay. This is so worrying.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 20/09/2019 10:49

OP, where in the country are you?
Can we help you? x

ysmaem · 20/09/2019 10:49

Call the police. You need need help to leave the house. They'll stay with you while you pack the stuff you need and take you to safety

housemovers · 20/09/2019 10:53

I hope you are quiet because the police are involved Bubsworth.

I got away from an abusive man a year ago after repeatedly trying... it can be done, it's a long road but you have support here. You need to do this for your safety and that of your baby's. Stay well xxx

RuffleCrow · 20/09/2019 10:56

Definitely call the police now. Hard evidence is your friend

brokenladyxx · 20/09/2019 10:59

Are you ok you haven't replied for a while?? Please let us know as soon as you can sending big hugs x

RuffleCrow · 20/09/2019 11:01

You need police reports and ss evidence like thus to make sure he doesn't end up with unsupervised access to your child after you split. Otherwise it will turn into what the courts perceive as a 'he said she said' and in those cases our patriarchal bias means men tend to get what they want regardless of legitimate concerns. Time to bite the bullet and let them help you now, OP.

SirVixofVixHall · 20/09/2019 11:03

I am really worried. Do we need to alert HQ here ?

Duvetdazed · 20/09/2019 11:09

Hopefully the op has called the police and this is being dealt with.

MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 20/09/2019 11:10

Morning, Bubsworth,

We're so sorry to hear you're in this situation and do hope you're getting help now.

When we see threads like this we usually post links to our Domestic Violence web guide here. It has lots of links to a number of places you can call for support and advice if you'd like to.

We really hope you find the help you need quickly. Flowers Do pop back and let us know you're ok when you're able to.

dustarr73 · 20/09/2019 11:12

Take pictures of you bruising and send them to your sibling.Get your sibling to call the police.And then leave.

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