Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

C and the (non-existent) FB messages

999 replies

JaysusWept · 18/09/2019 09:31

Morning all.
Can't believe the last thread filled up!
Thanks so much to everyone for all of your responses and your support. It really was invaluable to me.

According to K, M and D, they've had no response from C to their messages asking her to explain what has gone on and why she's been lying. She's seen the messages, but hasn't replied to any of them. I ended up muting my WA chat last night because it was buzzing constantly Hmm Did make me wonder if the chat I was exluded from was as busy...

L has told M that she'd believed C, can't believe she would lie about something as serious as this (nothing about not believing I would do such a thing!) and that she needs to hear what C has to say about it. She hasn't attempted to contact me, and I don't want her to. That friendship is over.

I'm wondering what C will come back with now. Part of me thinks she'll just freeze K, M and D out and not even bother to give an explanation, because how could she explain it?
I'm just so relieved that that's it now - they know I wasn't lying. Although I intend to stay friends with K, M and D, I think my friendship with them will cool slightly. They didn't support me when I needed it, and from their responses/reactions, I'm guessing that they were similarly as gossipy and 'excited' with C and L when this was all going on. I'd hoped they were trying not to take sides, etc - but the way they seem to be almost revelling in this now, with the amount of messaging and speculation - I'm guessing they were speculating about me this way?
It's left a bad taste in my mouth.

OP posts:
Mintychoc1 · 20/09/2019 19:53

incog no, because the original text said she was all over her DH, so C had already clearly been telling L that there was something going on between them.

Expo · 20/09/2019 20:01

@IncogMeToo seriously ?

babbydriver · 20/09/2019 20:02

Are you one of the initials in disguise @IncogMeToo ?!

BookwormMe2 · 20/09/2019 20:03

posterIncogMeToo You think she should've just sat back and let C spread crap to their other friends that she was trying it on with her DH? Hmm

Original poster
JaysusWept · 20/09/2019 20:17

Thanks for all your messages.
DD and I went to the library after pickup for some new books for her, then to play bowling then for dinner at Pizza Hut. K’s DD had told her about the sleepover. My DD is a bit put out that we’re not going but the treats afterwards made up for it!

I don’t regret phoning C after that text message by the way. What I do regret is not having challenged her/L and the other 3 on their behaviour much earlier. I’m not a pushover, but I am fairly quiet and laidback and I do try to avoid drama/conflict and they know this. I pretty much just want an easy life! And I try to take that route.

Anyway, pick up. K and M were there - both seemingly very concerned about how I am Hmm I told them as clearly as I could what I’ve said here. I feel let down by them, I feel in them entertaining C’s drama even though they know she’s lied about the messages that they are still questioning whether I actually did send them. Both very quick to try to rubbish this, saying that she’d heard C’s husband, they knew it was false. I said in which case they had not challenged C on the fact that she’d told such blatant lies and that they were letting her give them the run around with all of this ‘woe is me’ drama. They still don’t know what is going on because they are tiptoeing around her! They tried to say that they would be challenging her tonight. I said that if C had lied about one of them I would never have gone and socialised with her when she hadn’t even explained and apologised. I told them that I wouldn’t be able to make lunch on Sunday and that I hoped the kids had an enjoyable sleepover but that I had no interest in C and that the only time I wanted to hear about her again was when she was apologising to me for lying. But that I’d tell her to shove her apology up her arse (I didn’t say that, but I wish I had!)

And, given all that and how embarrassed they look, I can see from FB that K has checked herself in to C’s house and there’s a picture of her and L with a cocktail. She knows I will see that. Either she wants to rub my nose in it or she just doesn’t give a fuck. I think the latter.

So, on that note, I’m pouring a large wine and they can all go fuck themselves!

OP posts:
wheretonow123 · 20/09/2019 20:18

If C has actually split with the husband then its a pity that the OP doesnt fancy him Wink.

Original poster
JaysusWept · 20/09/2019 20:18

Oh, and I didn’t see the mum who’d spoken to my ex this morning, which is a shame because I would have explained the situation to her and let her fucking spread that around!

OP posts:
roseunicornblower · 20/09/2019 20:20

Oh OP I would unfollow them on any social media so you don't have to see any pictures or posts of the witches.

TripleSeptic · 20/09/2019 20:21

I would go to the school and distance myself from all of them. C is clearly unhinged, and who knows where it started, but your first priority is your child, and you might also think about C's child. This might be the thin end of the wedge. She's keeping her child off school, because why? Because the marriage ended? School would like to know. Because she's having a breakdown? School would like to know. Because she told a lie and got found out? I'd like school to know for the sake of the child, who is missing out on her education because her mum is embarrassed! That's not right. There are red flags everywhere.

Sugary · 20/09/2019 20:21

You know, as a mother, I couldn’t forgive the fact that those two are happy for your daughter to be left out like this. That would sit very uncomfortably with me and is actually unforgivable. It could be any one of their daughters left out like that - I’m sure they’ve felt that heartbreak for their kids at some point - and they are just letting it happen.

Shame on them all!

MrsPerfect12 · 20/09/2019 20:22

That check in is really bitchy. If they felt for you at all they'd be play down being at C's not being in your face about it. Glad you had fun with your DD. FlowersWine

MarshaBradyo · 20/09/2019 20:24

Has the h moved out Jaysus?

wheretonow123 · 20/09/2019 20:27

@JaysusWept, the check-in is in bad taste. Enjoy your glass of wine. You deserve it.

CandyLeBonBon · 20/09/2019 20:28

Fucking hell with friends like that eh?

Sorry op. They're all bastards

Expo · 20/09/2019 20:29

K has checked herself into C’s house? Seriously? Seriously? I mean I check myself into Los Angeles but not a friends house up the road. And certainly not in the middle of a situation like this where she knows all the drama. Holy fuck. Really?

WHAT A BITCH

Mummymummums · 20/09/2019 20:29

Talk about two faced!

Expo · 20/09/2019 20:30

Remind me to check into C’s. Obvs the place to be (if you like psycho friends)

Expo · 20/09/2019 20:31

Let’s all check into C’s

HappyGoLuckyLuLu · 20/09/2019 20:33

Time for a post on FB checking in to your house with a pic of your own large glass of vino? Grin

Really sorry for your horrible situation, time for a new friendship group to hangout with!

Can you invite some of the DCs around next week for your DD? Honestly I'd even consider inviting C's DD as I'm a big believer in trying not to penalize the children just because their parents are arseholes. Appreciate that might be a step too far for you at the moment though!

combatbarbie · 20/09/2019 20:33

K is now just as bad as C now, checking in is just pathetic and bitchy so you can fuck her out the window.

Enjoy your wine and unfollow them all so nothing is popping up on your Facebook feed.

What was their response to purposely excluding DD, i hope they are ashamed of themselves!!!! And I hope they find this thread.....

Pimmsypimms · 20/09/2019 20:34

What an absolute bunch of bitches! I'd be seeking out new friends (easier said than done, I know). I reckon it's only a matter of time before she singles the next 'friend' out and turns on them too for whatever made up reason. She sounds like she thrives on the drama and once this has died down, she'll have to get her next fix. The fucker. I really feel for you op. You think that when you leave school, you leave all of that immature drama behind you, but some people are just fucking bullies Thanks

Musti · 20/09/2019 20:37

OP you're well rid of those cows. And you know what? Their friendship is never going to be nice and relaxed from now on. They'll be paranoid and wonder who will be next. Because there will be someone next. Someone like C will always want to create drama and blame someone for whatever's wrong in her life. And the others will never trust each other again because they know that if they can treat someone innocent like this then their friendship is a farce.

tattyheadsmum · 20/09/2019 20:38

Crikey, OP, that's rough. They should be bloody ashamed of themselves, but it doesn't sound like they are. Enjoy the wine, you really deserve it. Flowers

Bigblue1970 · 20/09/2019 20:38

You are exactly the kind of person I would want as a friend. Loyal. Strong. Direct. Unwavering. I hope you know how proud many of us are of you for doing so well with this shituation. X

5LeafClover · 20/09/2019 20:38

Shame on them. Bystander bullies, convincing themselves that it's nothing to do with them.

So sorry that this has happened to you op.