C and the (non-existent) FB messages

[JaysusWept]

Morning all.
Can't believe the last thread filled up!
Thanks so much to everyone for all of your responses and your support. It really was invaluable to me.

According to K, M and D, they've had no response from C to their messages asking her to explain what has gone on and why she's been lying. She's seen the messages, but hasn't replied to any of them. I ended up muting my WA chat last night because it was buzzing constantly Did make me wonder if the chat I was exluded from was as busy...

L has told M that she'd believed C, can't believe she would lie about something as serious as this (nothing about not believing I would do such a thing!) and that she needs to hear what C has to say about it. She hasn't attempted to contact me, and I don't want her to. That friendship is over.

I'm wondering what C will come back with now. Part of me thinks she'll just freeze K, M and D out and not even bother to give an explanation, because how could she explain it?
I'm just so relieved that that's it now - they know I wasn't lying. Although I intend to stay friends with K, M and D, I think my friendship with them will cool slightly. They didn't support me when I needed it, and from their responses/reactions, I'm guessing that they were similarly as gossipy and 'excited' with C and L when this was all going on. I'd hoped they were trying not to take sides, etc - but the way they seem to be almost revelling in this now, with the amount of messaging and speculation - I'm guessing they were speculating about me this way?
It's left a bad taste in my mouth.

I bet drinks and the sleepover will be off now.

I don't even think it matters if C was wrong. Her cronies will have their reasons to stick by her because they don't want to be ostracised. They are clearly weak women, but they'd have to be because a strong woman would have called out C on her bullshit and treatment of the op a long time ago.

It's really childish behaviour, but incredibly hurtful and demoralising for the op to have to witness.

OP, are you relatively okay? It must be a shock to discover people you thought were your friends, aren't and that others are so flaky and pathetic. As an aside, I wouldn't be letting my child anywhere near someone who has treated me so appallingly so while they might be upset to be missing out on sleepovers, etc I would be happy in the knowledge the bitch couldn't hurt me through my child.

I can believe they're going to C's familyissue because their friend's marriage has 'broken down' and they're as confused as OP and all the poster's here as to what is going on. If they go they can find out what's going on and hopefully go knowing and calling her out on her lies.

At this point, given that other people are now being involved, I'd be tempted to go with the other ladies and call her out on it but stick to the point about messaging C's husband. OP will be there and will confirm what C's husband said

*OP's witness will be there

They'll be going because they want to get the gossip from the horse's mouth. They can't really believe C at this point but she's played the abandoned wife card so they kind of have to be seen to be rallying round her

I want to assume that no news is good news??

Do you have a class WhatsApp or Facebook group. I wouldn't go down the route of staying silent and remaining dignified I'd out her as being a complete loon who has made up a rumour about you having an affair with her husband when you have done nothing of the sort. I'd recant the conversation you had with her husband in which he was 😮 about her allegations and mention that one of the other WA ladies was there (forget which initial she was!) so she has no choice but to back you up.

OP- you ok?

I have to say I would do exactly what Bloomburger says ^ Call out the bullshit publicly. Only way to stop the batshittery and rumor mill.

You cant stop batshittery or rumour mills. All you can do is keep a safe distance and shake your head.

But dont cut them all off. The schadenfreude will come OP.

Hope that you are okay @JaysusWept . Have been thinking of you all afternoon.

Hope you're ok, OP. Jaysuswept indeed! I'm not sure about legalities, but if anyone asked me or my ex, I'd tell them the full story but in a concerned friend way - accused me of having affair totally out of the blue, asked C's DH if he knew anything about it but he didn't, it's all so upsetting, we're such good friends, can't think why she thought this, very concerned, other friends still in touch, can't understand it either, wondering if it could be some kind of drug problem, we were so close etc. etc. etc.

This really smacks of proper adult bullying now. It must feel horrible but you can at least know that you're best off moving on from these dreadful people. It won't seem like it now but they've done you a favour.
Frankly to put it to bed I'd do a Facebook post on my own page along the lines:
Those of you who know me will know that posting this is painful for me, however maintaining a dignified silence is not making this go away.
"Some of you may have heard a rumour started by a so called friend that I have inappropriately messaged her husband. This started after she accidentally sent me a message insulting me (and my laugh) that she meant to send to another friend. She claimed to have seen these messages which I know to be untrue as I have never messaged her husband in my life.
When this was shown to be untrue after I confronted her husband in the presence of someone else, asking why his wife was claiming I'd been messaging him (he was clearly in the dark too), she went on to escalate the situation and is telling people they are now separated. I have heard on the grapevine that I am accused of having an affair with him.
Having had this happen to me, but in any event, I would never ever do this to another woman.
I have no idea why she has targeted me for these rumours that she knows are untrue. Whilst everyone is rallying round her in sympathy while she plays the victim I am left with no support. She is deliberately excluding my daughter from social occasions she would normally be at.
I guess as a single parent I was an easy target. To affect my daughter is despicable. We've done nothing to deserve this.
I truly hope this will end and that the person who started this will get the help she must need.
Please don't think my silence means I don't care. I'm devastated at what's being said about me. And I'm devastated to find out how little some friends, who I thought very highly of, think of me.
I know I've done nothing and so does she. I hope this can now go away and if you've heard the rumour, please know it's malicious. This is my life, we didn't ask to star in someone else's fantasy drama."
Well that's what I'd do. Set the record straight and get the tongues wagging. The right people will see it.

It's an idea Mummymummums but rather too long.

Yeah maybe, I'm a waffler

How did pick up go op? I think she is jealous of you for all the reasons we’ve seen in this thread. You don’t need drama and gossip to make your life worthwhile. You are obviously articulate and although you say you don’t feel confident, you seem to have a strong sense of self. She, on the other hand, is a vapid, insecure, compulsive liar who eventually everyone will see through (and deep down she probably knows that).

Please don't do a Facebook post.

Christ just read all the threads, hope you’re shaping up OP. Just absolutely awful what has happened to you. You’re a good egg.

Hope you have a peaceful weekend OP

Oh God, don't do a FB post - it smacks of the lady doth protest too much and it's just keeping the drama going, only it'll now be involving everyone on your friends list! I know it's horrible your daughter is being left out, OP, but if your friends had supported you instead and were coming round for drinks tonight with their kids, would you seriously have invited C's DD too? I can't imagine you would've. I hope you've told them all by now how upset you are by all this. You've been so stoic at dealing with this shit storm but I think the time has come to explode!

And just quietly allow herself to be slagged off Incog? Why shouldn’t op stand up for herself?

@IncogMeToo, I don't think any of this is the OP's fault, no.

Ah yes. Let's blame the person who was being slagged off, for reacting incorrectly. Great idea