C and the (non-existent) FB messages

[JaysusWept]

Morning all.
Can't believe the last thread filled up!
Thanks so much to everyone for all of your responses and your support. It really was invaluable to me.

According to K, M and D, they've had no response from C to their messages asking her to explain what has gone on and why she's been lying. She's seen the messages, but hasn't replied to any of them. I ended up muting my WA chat last night because it was buzzing constantly Did make me wonder if the chat I was exluded from was as busy...

L has told M that she'd believed C, can't believe she would lie about something as serious as this (nothing about not believing I would do such a thing!) and that she needs to hear what C has to say about it. She hasn't attempted to contact me, and I don't want her to. That friendship is over.

I'm wondering what C will come back with now. Part of me thinks she'll just freeze K, M and D out and not even bother to give an explanation, because how could she explain it?
I'm just so relieved that that's it now - they know I wasn't lying. Although I intend to stay friends with K, M and D, I think my friendship with them will cool slightly. They didn't support me when I needed it, and from their responses/reactions, I'm guessing that they were similarly as gossipy and 'excited' with C and L when this was all going on. I'd hoped they were trying not to take sides, etc - but the way they seem to be almost revelling in this now, with the amount of messaging and speculation - I'm guessing they were speculating about me this way?
It's left a bad taste in my mouth.

I know a few people have said about them remaining impartial and trying to find out the truth, etc - but that isn't what happened at all.
They pretty much distanced themselves from me, were probably all talking about me in the new WA (which is still going on!) and now that they know that C was lying about the messages, they haven't challenged her on this at all!
They're just sweeping C's lies under the carpet because they're so concerned about her newest drama bullshit.
I would never have treated any of them like this. And I'm really fucking pissed off at my DD being excluded from an activity she would always have been part of before.

You really need to say all of this to them. Right now you have nothing to lose. Don’t let them get away with this, they’re all as bad as C.

I'd be a bit concerned too tbh. Up until recently she's been a good, supportive friend, then starts distancing herself, now this? I would be genuinely quite concerned too I think.

Bold fail

I couldn't let this go without saying something.

I'd put a message on WA telling them how disappointed you are in them. That C has explained nothing and they are happily ignoring the fact she ripped your friendship group apart with lies. That your daughter being excluded is the final nail in the coffin and they can all go be arseholes together.

Then I'd leave and genuinely never breathe a word to any of them again.

Well that unravelled a bit rapidly!

You know though if op put that up it would get back to C who’d be delighted

Not sure what you can do

After reading through all the threads, I would fuck the lot of them off and find some new friends, you really don't need a pack of sneaky bitches like that, and they are probably all feeling threatened by you. I understand friends can have a little go about one another from time to time, its human but that is another level of cuntiness.

I would not want my dd even near their kids, monkey see monkey do springs to mind.

Best of luck op x

I think before you cut back on your friendship with them, you should confront them with a direct question. "Do you believe that I've done nothing in all of this, or do you believe her and think I've been messing around with her husband". And also ask "if you believe me, then how can you all rally around her after the she completely assassinated my character with malicious lies".

You should do this ^

Also, how ironic on of her messages to you was "Always the victim" projection much?

I really think you need to call them out on their behaviour.
Your poor DD 😢

C will be delighted either way. The friendship group is still her little coven of faithful bitches.

If op says nothing she's won as she's not been called out again and will no doubt think she's gotten away with it.

If op does post something in the
WA group C will be all "all this drama I'm going through of my marriage collapsing and she is still having a go at me". 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Well that's them all fully overstepping the line, isn't it.
Now your DD has been brought into this pile of nonsense - well they can all just fuck off.

I do hope you DO manage to find some better friends, and your DD too - it's probably better to cut and run now rather than later.

I wouldn't refuse to speak to the others again though - I'd maintain a civil and breezy reaction to them if they contact you - but I'd be damn sure I wouldn't be entertaining them again!

She really knew your WA group would be buzzing and went all in.

I wouldn’t bother with a WA message (screen shots and dissection on ither no thanks) but I like the direct question as in bold below in person

I wish I lived near you op. I'm itching to come and bang all their heads together! It's time to broaden your school friendship group, invite another child over for a play etc

Oh dear, I'm so sorry OP. I was very much for giving them the benefit of the doubt, but this is appalling for you and your DD. I can't believe that not one of them has your back, especially M who was actually present watching everything unfold.

I really feel for you.

@Spotsandstars - OP could just add a few hundred MNetters to the WA group and we could metaphorically bang their heads together 🤣

Do you believe that I've done nothing in all of this, or do you believe her and think I've been messing around with her husband". And also ask "if you believe me, then how can you all rally around her after the she completely assassinated my character with malicious lies

That sounds like a very rasonable message to send to the group. As for your dd, in fairness she was hardly going to be invited to C's house and most likely won't be again. C is making sure she's coming across as the victim here with her pathetic little possy pandering to her. Your friendships with those women are well and truly damaged. I think you should now start to nudge your dd in the direction of other friends and leave all these ones behind. It's not as if you can casually ask C if her dd can come to yours for a play date anymore. It's horrible for your dd but better all round if you can start inviting other girls from her class/activities for play dates and hopefully that will help your dd strengthen friendships outside of this group.

C has also suggested that some of the kids go round there as well for a sleepover - my DD is not invited which is the most upsetting bit. She'll wonder what's going on if she hears about it in school from K's DD or C's DD.

And yes here we go, as we predicted - your DD will be the target of the next tranche of exclusion and bullying.

Of course your DD will find out because C’s daughter will be instructed to tell her. Here you will see how mean or not the other 3 friends are if they collaborate in the exclusion of your DD.

What MisunderstoodMaleficent said!!!!

I agree with hiding suggesting you organise something exciting for your DD on Friday, pretend it was already organised. Then if this bullshit carries on you could sensitively explain to her what has happened. She may be really understanding. What other friends does she have? Could you invite them round for tea or something this weekend?

So Cs lies were shot down. But after a temporary jolt she has pivoted and MKD are now back at her beck and call.

I predict her next act will be a superficial attempt at reconciling with you with some kind of non apology. The group will deem this enough so if you don’t fully accept you stay out. Difficult one for you given dds friendship groups...

I’d speak to MKD at drop-off/pick up direct.

I cannot fathom why they would still support her.
I'd call over Friday night when they're all there together and ask C to explain what's gone on and why she lied.
Clear your name and expose her to everyone in person instead of all the WA messages. I expect the other 3 might not know what the hell to think and with 2 WA groups on the go it's probably hard to keep up with the facts of everything.
Confronting them all in person might help prove your innocence and give you some closure.

You now need a “fuck them off” plan.

C is clearly unhinged and if there is a domestic breakdown it’s not for you to care

Whilst I feel for the others to a degree not one of them has “sided” with you. Friends are supposed to have your back. It really is obvious where their alliance is even if they are all likely fed up with the dumbfuckery and the time it’s taking up mentally for them.

The real loser in this is your DD. This is why you need to downgrade comms with K M and D, as you need to do what you can to protect your DD from the children turning on one another. It could happen.

Now you look around and see what’s available out there. Start going to a class. Do something different. See more of your family. Maybe reconnect with an old friend. Find a new tribe or start one. Maybe put DD into Scouts or Brownies - anything to expand your horizons.

You don’t need these women.
You’re a strong mum doing it alone and you’re fine.
You’re also self aware enough to be philosophical about how let down you feel.

Time to channel your energy into a new beginning.

And fuck those cows.

Are there any other friends your daughter has at school you can invite to sleep over OP?
How dare she exclude your daughter -

fucking a grown up over is one thing - but to fuck over a child is in another league of nasty bitchiness.

How fucking dare she!!! Sadly there isn't getting through to someone who is as narcissistic and so bloody selfish as she is.

She's got a strange power over your friends, these types of people manage to tie people up in their web of drama.

You're better off out of it all - as shit as this is :-(

You're allowed to grieve over the friendships, both yours and your daughters.

The best pay back you can dish out is to remain dignified, happy and proud of your daughter.

Your obvious lack of giving a shit about C will wind her up so so much!!!!

So they why the fucking hell is she still not talking to you?!

Sounds like C just doesn't want to lose face now. She's accused you of something you didn't do, but isn't apologising because she doesn't want to admit she's behaved like a dick to you.

I hope C find this thread and reads the opinions of HUNDREDS of women (and maybe some token men)

Perhaps she will realise she isn't the center of the universe.