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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

C and the (non-existent) FB messages

999 replies

JaysusWept · 18/09/2019 09:31

Morning all.
Can't believe the last thread filled up!
Thanks so much to everyone for all of your responses and your support. It really was invaluable to me.

According to K, M and D, they've had no response from C to their messages asking her to explain what has gone on and why she's been lying. She's seen the messages, but hasn't replied to any of them. I ended up muting my WA chat last night because it was buzzing constantly Hmm Did make me wonder if the chat I was exluded from was as busy...

L has told M that she'd believed C, can't believe she would lie about something as serious as this (nothing about not believing I would do such a thing!) and that she needs to hear what C has to say about it. She hasn't attempted to contact me, and I don't want her to. That friendship is over.

I'm wondering what C will come back with now. Part of me thinks she'll just freeze K, M and D out and not even bother to give an explanation, because how could she explain it?
I'm just so relieved that that's it now - they know I wasn't lying. Although I intend to stay friends with K, M and D, I think my friendship with them will cool slightly. They didn't support me when I needed it, and from their responses/reactions, I'm guessing that they were similarly as gossipy and 'excited' with C and L when this was all going on. I'd hoped they were trying not to take sides, etc - but the way they seem to be almost revelling in this now, with the amount of messaging and speculation - I'm guessing they were speculating about me this way?
It's left a bad taste in my mouth.

OP posts:
LannieDuck · 19/09/2019 13:28

Sorry the drama is still going, OP :( Seems best to stay as removed from it as poss and let it burn itself out.

Original poster
JaysusWept · 19/09/2019 13:46

Hi all, this is the first chance I've been able to log in today - work has been manic.

Still none the wiser about what's going on.
C's DD isn't at school today - C's told K that she's too upset at all that is going home within the home Confused

K, M, D and L are all still going round there tomorrow for drinks. I'm still not invited. C has also suggested that some of the kids go round there as well for a sleepover - my DD is not invited which is the most upsetting bit. She'll wonder what's going on if she hears about it in school from K's DD or C's DD.
As far as I know, she's still maintaining that husband is kicked out.
K, M and D are all very concerned about her.
I am keeping my distance from all of them, tbh.

OP posts:
Hidingtonothing · 19/09/2019 13:51

Ugh, sorry this is already impacting DD OP Flowers Could you come up with an outing for her or something tomorrow, make it look as though she hadn't been invited because C knew you were taking her somewhere else? Won't work forever obviously but would save her being upset this time at least.

beatriceprior · 19/09/2019 13:51

You know what Op I am so angry in your behalf. Sorry but what a gang of absolute cunts.

She's created another drama so everyone feels sorry for her and flicks round her and conveniently she's too upset for any of them to dare ask why she lied about the messages and you and to call her out on her out about bitching about you.

You are best off out of it.

The fact she still hasn't apologised or acknowledged she was wrong, the absolute cheek of her.

Fuck the lot of them op.

Xxx big hugs.

LazyLizzy · 19/09/2019 13:55

C has also suggested that some of the kids go round there as well for a sleepover

Let them get on with it.

It's now time for you to broaden your circle of friends. Also, just be there for DD when she's bumped out of the group aswell.

Applepieco · 19/09/2019 13:58

Hmmmm. Think distancing yourself is v wise.

magoria · 19/09/2019 13:59

Does your DD have any other friends you can arrange something with?

AryaStarkWolf · 19/09/2019 14:06

oh ffs, ok now I'm of the thinking you need to bin all of them, so they know that she's made up this horrible lie about you and she's actively ostracizing you and your child but they still don't have your back? That's disgraceful. I would have to say something. Tell them how hurt you are that she would do this to you and they're all happy to allow her to push you out like that

Morgan12 · 19/09/2019 14:07

Wow.

Fuck them all.

Can't believe they are going round there like nothing happened.

RunningOutOfCharacte · 19/09/2019 14:07

Oh they can all fuck right off.

Sorry op. I'm so sorry for your dd. Is there anyone else she's friendly with you can perhaps organise a little trip to the park or something nice for her this weekend?

Any residual hope I had the rest of them might be ok has gone. But I think you already knew that. I'm just sorry it's worked out this way.

Does dd do any clubs or anything outside school with other children? Just thinking more for her to make sure she has some friends without fuckwits for parents.

newhousestress · 19/09/2019 14:07

Do you think you'd do the same again OP? Confronting them etc. I know you can't change the past but wonder if the drama you've been sucked into has been much worse than you expected.

BatmanLovesTheCircus · 19/09/2019 14:08

I was all for giving K, M and D the benefit of the doubt but now they are actively punishing your daughter I think fuck them. You have proven you were telling the truth and that C is a lying psychopath, yet you and now your poor DD are being punished.

I know you want to stay out of it but I would be telling K, M and D how disappointed you are with all of them for their behaviour. Drama loving bitches.

AryaStarkWolf · 19/09/2019 14:09

Unless she's telling them that she wasn't lying at all and you and her DH hatched that plan to clear you or something and that's why she's kicked him out?

combatbarbie · 19/09/2019 14:09

Still being a vindictive bitch then.... Absolutely no sympathy for her because that's what this game is to her, she's clearly now the victim to make everyone forget what she actually done..... Sadly this does not surprise me. And I still don't believe her DH is out of the house..... They will have miraculously made up by then!

hellsbellsmelons · 19/09/2019 14:13

This really boils my piss!!!
So you've done absolutely nothing wrong.
And you and DD get ostracised.
Fuckers!
Sorry but K, M & D keep going down in my estimations.
K, M and D are all very concerned about her
WTF??? What about you???
They are THE shittest friends on the planet.
I hate them for you OP!
C causes all this trouble and they rally around HER!!!! Stunned is not the right word.
Angry Angry Angry

NewMe2019 · 19/09/2019 14:14

Nice friends Hmm. So C lies and lies, they all discover she has been lying and flock around anyway as she's made herself a victim. Never a thought for you in the process! Nice.

tvdinnertracks · 19/09/2019 14:15

So it appears that they're cunts too.

I'm sure they must have seen this thread by now, one of them must be on Mumsnet!

So if any of you are reading, you suck. Angry

ChuckleBuckles · 19/09/2019 14:16

At this point K, M and D are as bad if not worse than C, they know she is a liar and still they go running. If they are that desperate for drama they should watch Eastenders or Corrie. Worse again they now know she is deliberately excluding your DD and still they run after her. C is full of shit, to upset for school but fine for a houseful of visitors, bull!

Lulualla · 19/09/2019 14:16

Have you asked your friends outright whether or no they believe you?

I think before you cut back on your friendship with them, you should confront them with a direct question. "Do you believe that I've done nothing in all of this, or do you believe her and think I've been messing around with her husband". And also ask "if you believe me, then how can you all rally around her after the she completely assassinated my character with malicious lies".

I know you want to step away but they shouldn't just get away with playing the two faced game. For your daughters sake, you need to have it out with them, learn where you all stand and clear the air.

Ahundredpercentthatbitch · 19/09/2019 14:17

She kicked her husband out rather than just admit she was bitching about you behind your back?!

She might have held on to the friendship group but...er...she’s thrown her marriage under a bus in order to do it.

That is proper psychopath-levels of crazy.

I’d back away slowly from all of them if I were you. Really shame about your DD though. But what sort of influences would she be being exposed to if those women are raising their DCs with the same morals and ethics?

Original poster
JaysusWept · 19/09/2019 14:18

I've specifically asked K why the husband has been kicked out and she has told me that she doesn't know exactly, 'that C has been too upset to go into details', poor C, etc etc, so C still hasn't explained anything!
She hasn't explained why she made up such lies about me, and she hasn't explained the reasoning behind this latest bullshit of hers.
And K, M and D (and L, of course) are all still pandering to her, and are letting her get away with her lies about me.

They really have shown their true colours as friends.
I know a few people have said about them remaining impartial and trying to find out the truth, etc - but that isn't what happened at all.
They pretty much distanced themselves from me, were probably all talking about me in the new WA (which is still going on!) and now that they know that C was lying about the messages, they haven't challenged her on this at all!
They're just sweeping C's lies under the carpet because they're so concerned about her newest drama bullshit.
I would never have treated any of them like this. And I'm really fucking pissed off at my DD being excluded from an activity she would always have been part of before.

OP posts:
BlingLoving · 19/09/2019 14:19

I really feel for you. I do actually have a little sympathy for C, IF actually her marriage was terrible / dh was cheating etc. But her behaviour towards you has been completely unacceptable and it never ceases to amaze me how the "collateral damage" in these situations (in this case, you and your DD) doesn't seem to bother anyone.

It's a real pity that D, M and K are not taking into account your need for support too. They're so busy gathering around C and all her drama that they've completely ditched you and it's awful.

It's the time of year again when DH has to interact with the whole gang of people who ditched me (for a charity thing he's been involved in for years and years). As always, I can feel my tension ratcheting up.

Clutterbugsmum · 19/09/2019 14:19

Time to find new friends.

K, M & D are not your friends, please stand them up and don't meet up with them at the weekend as planned.

I'm sort of hoping that C DH turns up at school to pick up their child and he has know idea about what C has now done.

MarshaBradyo · 19/09/2019 14:21

God you poor thing and your dd. Really angry for you. C will keep laying it on to ‘beat’ you. Of course she’s too upset to go into details Hmm

Fuckers the lot of them.

MisunderstoodMaleficent · 19/09/2019 14:22

I think you’re right to keep your distance. I’m sorry your DD has been affected Flowers