Dating thread 170: Know your worth

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

Great updates keepcalm and kermit

Good luck simon

Me again. Um, yes. Mr Goatee is shorter than me which I normally swipe left on but I didn't think to ask him until the night before our date, went on it anyway and we ended up having an excellent evening. I'm seeing him again when he's back in the country (he travels back and forth from the states for work)

Connecting with someone is much.more than looks.

Thanks everyone! @crappyday2018 I don't tend to go for beards at all and I went on a date with Mr Sexy Beard last night and it was ace - his chats were good and his eyes were kind.

Good luck @SimonJT with MiniSJT meeting Mr NN.

So date with Mr Hiker was good and we went for a long walk, I'm really not too sure about him but he seems keen on me. Do I go for a second date? I don't want to lead him on at all as he's lovely but not my type.

Have another date tomorrow with Mr Artist - we are both ex soldiers so have a lot to talk about. He's fun, flirty and got a set of eyes that make me swoon.

Bloody typical isn't it? This dating game is hard you have nothing for ages then 3 good ones come along.

I've decided against meeting with MrIcrematedhisbrother as I think it'll be too hard for him.

@crappyday2018 I'm very non judgey about looks before I meet someone because I am very unphotogenic myself and so if they chat nicely, flirt a bit and have a nice phone voice then I'm happy to meet them. I find some voices quite sexy and that often matters more than looks.

Mr R was much more attractive than his photo - although probably not my normal type - and one guy I dated who was attractive in his photo looked really pale and unhealthy in real life - I was sure he had maybe filtered his photo to make him look tanned.

Not posted for a while, I’m still with Mr Skinny but struggling with him not opening up and probably me not opening up. Also realising that in many ways he is my opposite. Today he’s meant to spending the day with me, we are meant to be going out for Sunday lunch, I was meant to book a table but luckily I didn’t. We only get to spend one whole day together once every 2 weeks due to him having his dc’s every other weekend and me having mine almost all the time. He struggles to get up in the mornings and today was late getting up, he was meant to be here by 11am but was late getting up, he’s not text to say he forgot his wallet and had to go back to get it. So by the time he gets here it will be 12.30/1pm. I have to collect my kids from their dads at 5pm so now we will only have a few hours, by the time we have eaten lunch there won’t be much time to do anything else 😡.
I’m a early bird, awake at 6am most days, by 12am it feels like half the day has gone.

Next weekend I’m going away with friends and I think I will use this time to reflect on what it is I want because I’m not sure I’m getting enough “excitement” from Mr Skinny. He is lovely and kind and I enjoy being with him but I find being in a relationship a bit .....boring. I don’t think it’s him, I have felt like this with most of my irons since I finished with abusive ex several years ago.

@Lovemusic33 perhaps you're just not getting enough time together to be able to give it 100%. I have similar issues with having my DC so I think it makes it harder to really get to know someone.
Its not good though if he hasn't made the effort to get out of his bed on one of the few days you have together!
You do right to consider if its working for you because you don't want to waste time.

@Lovemusic33 I have to disagree with you - it is him! If I knew I only had a few hours with the love of my life then I would move heaven and earth to be with them. Relationships aren't meant to be hard - of course they can be a little bit difficult at times but overall there should be no angst.

How long has it been? If you're still in your first 6 months then the excitement should be there and you should still be wanting to rip each other's clothes off at every opportunity. I think you should cut Mr Skinny loose and found someone who matches you in terms of what you want. Know your worth 🤗

I do see him during the week but only for 2-3 hours twice a week and I’m the one driving over to him. Today will be the 2nd time he’s driven over to mine, we have only spent one night together but that due to me not being able to get ex to take the kids for the night. I’m not sure I want to spend any more time with him as such, would just like him to put a bit more effort in on the day he comes to mine (hardly ever). The sex is all good, though I’m having a few “women’s issues” which means we can’t do it as much as I would like but this doesn’t seem to bother him. He has just messaged to say he’s 15 minutes away, I’m starving and I want to go out to eat but he’s just eaten breakfast and won’t be hungry.

It’s been 3 months.

@Lovemusic33 it sounds like you're on completely different pages. I'd tell him not to bloody bother now and go and treat yourself doing something you want to do with your child free time.

Hi everyone! My name is supercali and I'm ignoring all the rules! Yay! I had a date today with mr tall hot PT and guess what. I cancelled him because I've spent the last 2 days talking to ... I'll call him mr chemistry (we were highest for each other on pof but spoke on bumble). He does similar things to me, same humour, same oddness, it's all a bit out of hand as we talked all day and most of the night. Hes away at the mo so we cant meet yet and he actually lives 1+ hours from me. Ya know what....if it comes to nothing its softened my very cynical heart. Cant be a bad thing can it?

Yes suggested date ..He isnt available not suggestion of when he is available so i have ignored his crap texts good morning etc.. ..I had enough i didnt go in to get a penpal..

@crappyday2018 re the looks thing, my ex was very hot yet abusive so I have kept an open mind with dating. My FWB is probably not the most attractive of people but we certainly have a connection and he has given me the best sex of my entire life.

@Lovemusic33 that would really irritate me if someone wasted my day because they got up late. I think three months is when you start to see people's flaws and if you can bear them warts and all.

I agree with @KermitRulesOK, @Lovemusic33. You may have your own issues, but it sounds like there's a lot of it being him going on. You don't feel excitement because he isn't being exciting.

I struggle to wake up in the mornings but if I was meeting someone for lunch, I wouldn't eat breakfast.

Great post @supercali77 I do like an rule breaker 😉

Had an enjoyable chat with a new iron this morning, cooking-related innuendo, very funny.

I think I'm going to bin off Mr Climber and book Mr Chef instead.

I would be irritated about the wasted morning as well - I am very time poor myself, and don't have the patience for lateness.

I consistently post before I finish talking, sorry everyone.

Meeting Mr Scrimgeour for coffee later. Sent him a good morning message today and he immediately jumped to the assumption I was about to cancel on him. I wonder if he is going to be hard work. We'll see.

Another site suggestion for fbs friendswithbenefits.co.uk a tamer version of fab with better searching but just as many married men. Free for women. You can't hide your profile and still search though and even if you block someone from contacting you they still show up in your search results. But hey it is free so worth a shot.

I do the same @morenicecereal

I have a new iron from that site. I'll call him Mr Bear. He wants to speak on the phone tomorrow night. What insanity is this? 😉 He is also easily found on the Internet and everything including his age is legit. Good start.

MiniSJT managed to get his next swimming badge. We went to the petting zoo as the weather looked as though it may turn, survived, as expected MiniSJT was over friendly as he has boundary issues due to poor attachments as a baby/toddler.

So today went well, but the true test I guess is seeing what MrNN does now, which is a bit worrying.

@Lovemusic33 he slept in but then hung around eating breakfast? I'd be a bit miffed about that, especially as it was nearly bloody lunchtime and you were going out for lunch!

@KermitRulesOK great update !

@MoreNiceCereal hmm Mr Scrimgeour... that would ping in my head too.

@simonjt glad it went well. Is there a reason you're worried about MrNN

and @supercali77 go you and your rule breaking!! Mr Chemistry sounds exciting.

So, I tried POF. Within 24 hours I had over 200 messages, and my phone was just pinging away all day (turned off notifications as it was doing my head in). How are you supposed to wade through that?? There's not enough hours in the day. I ended up just deleting it and signed up to okcupid. Takes a bit of getting used to but seems a lot more user friendly than POF. Not paid for it though. Is the best strategy just to look at double takes? Seems the filters don't apply there?

@KhaleesiTargaryen you can limit the amount of messages you get and that filters out the dross - I have really strict settings on mine so mine won't even accept one word messages such as 'hi'

Shit shit shit

Mr Scrimgeour's mum died suddenly last week. Last. Week. I am at a loss.