How to spoil husbands illicit weekend - ideas please!

[WGC3]

We are still together but on verge of separating. I know where and when he is going, cant stop it happening but would like to make sure it is less than perfect - any advice??

Never mind all the high horse shite. Stick a couple of frozen king prawns in the hem of his trousers. Then once he’s gone change the locks and phone your lawyer.

If she's married, I'd ring him when he's due to arrive to tell him you know then at the end of the call tell him you think it's only fair that you let her H know what his wife's going to be doing and that you're contacting him now then ring off.

If that's not a passion killer, not much will be.

If he doesn't answer as he doesn't want distractions, text, or even better call the OWs phone if you have her number and tell her you know and ask to speak to your DH.

Tell the DH straight away before the OW had a chance to contact him to deny.

Spend the next few days gathering info, getting the DH's number, write down your script to both your H and OW's H.

That's how I'd play it.

Feck the high road. All he'll see you as is a passive doormat.

I would act like you're having a "friend" over for the weekend. Tidy up the house extra special and hum or sing brightly love songs. Put some candles and flowers out.
Get out some fancy clothes out. Fix your hair all nice.

He just doesn't know the special "friend" is you you're having a date with.

Could you hide his passport so he can't go?

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Your post should be shared over and over. I hate those who egg on people to take action that most likely they never would themselves just for entertainment. They're not the ones to face any backlash.

I hope OP does read your post.

OP, although I agree with others that you should use this weekend as time to get ducks in a row and get the upper hand on that sort of shit, I can see you want to be a bitch to him but not hurt him so to speak.

So find out where OW and husband are meeting and turn up there, look as pissed off as you can. Shout at him really loud in front of her (and anyone else) "you bastard, you fuckin cheating shit, you have given me (insert std name here) how could you expose me to this when we are trying for a baby! You sick fuck!!" And walk off.

Yes he will think you are a nut job but it will stick with the OW and she will be thinking about it, all being well put her off. It will shit on the weekend.

Or go for a spa day!

OP don't stay home this weekend. Go away in the opposite direction, take your child with you and try and explore new things together.

Staying home is only going to hurt you more...

Leave them be. Instead spend the weekend decluttering and selling. Use the money to treat yourself.

OP has he told you the marriage is over and he wants to leave and what proof do you have he's been unfaithful?

You can't make people love you and shouldn't have to try. I certainly can understand your wish to mess things up for him if as you say he is shagging your ex-friend. I like the idea though of you looking after yourself. Hair, nails, waxing, etc. Maybe a few new pretty things to wear to make yourself feel good. Go out for drinks with friends or cinema, whatever; reconnect with others. That said, I have a friend who was in a similar situation who having made sure she was financially healthy, cancelled her soon to be ex husbands booking for illicit weekend so when they arrived they had nowhere to stay. I should be more grown up but I did smile about that, knowing how awful he had been to her. Good luck

Change the locks (if feasible) and block his number... He's clearly moved on, do the same. You can sort out child arrangements, assets etc. Later through legal channels, he can communicate through your lawyer. If he wants contact with your DC, have a trusted friend or family member try and facilitate it until you have something solid in place.
IME once you resolve to move on and hold your head high the crying and the hurt doesn't last nearly as long. Don't pull any silly pranks, let him have his weekend away and come back to a house he can't get into, or try and be away with your child if possible if changing the locks isn't an option. Not to be nasty and spiteful to him but for your own sake

OP have yourself an excuse emergency and tell him he has to parent this weekend. Fun parent weekend, child goes too. Good bonding time.

Reality bites.

Spend your free time copying p60s and pensions plans etc and making new bank accounts.

The high road is all well and good but look after yourself now, assume the worst and hopefully it won't happen.

If you are certain he is out the door already then use this weekend to pack his stuff up and change the locks.

Scorched earth.

A lot of these responses make me sad, I wonder if the same would be said if a bloke said his wife was leaving him. But we advise corruption, lying, embarrassment and stalking. Instead of advising to help and support a relationship clearly over. This is no ones fault

For goodness sake, let this guy go and do what he intends to do, and don't even bother about thinking about him , let alone ruin his shit stuff. I don't know if you think he is worth thinking about, but most people would say not.

Get a very, very hot chilli, slice open (wear rubber gloves) and rub the crotch of all his pants! Or maybe not.

Sorry this is happening.

Please don’t use your child as some PPs have suggested, as some kind of pawn. Making him take the child, or walking out and leaving him to look after them as some kind of punishment is shitty parenting 101.

While all the fishy treats and suggestions of confronting him at the hotel etc make for a fun thread, the sensible and measured advice to get your ducks in a row ready to leave is the most important.

You can’t legally change the locks if the house is in both names, so don’t do that either. He has as much right to stay there as you do for now.

I think that your best chance of saving your marriage is to split up, telling him why and that you’re not prepared to play second fiddle in your own marriage.

Letting him experience single life is usually the surest way to make him want to come back.

However, as you suspect he hasn’t yet physically cheated, but may do this weekend, you should say something before he goes. If he’s going to sleep with her he’ll probably do it either way, but putting some guilt and some doubt into his mind might just sway it.

Just tell him you’ve noticed he’s become close to her, you know she’s going this weekend and that if anything physical happens, that’s it between you, the marriage is 100% over. If he wants a chance to work things out with you he needs to think very carefully about his behaviour this weekend. And that you’ll be spending the weekend having a think about whether you want to remain married to him too. And leave it there.

If he shags her after that, he was always going to. If he doesn’t then you might be able to save it, or she might just end up being the forbidden fruit that mean mummy won’t let him have.

As hard as it is to get your head around, you will be ok if this ends. Hundreds/thousands of us have been through a divorce and come out the other end a happy person. It isn’t the worst thing in the world I promise. It’s not what you plan for or what you wish for, but if it happens because your H has had his head turned, you will not only survive but you can thrive.

I agree with @30to50FeralHogs.

Does her husband know about this yet? Time to contact him and let him know about the dirty weekend?

I completely understand your need for revenge it is completely normal. However having been there don't do it. I had fantasies of all types of revenge but am so glad I never followed them through. A year down the line I actually would like to thank the ow for giving me the chance to start over as my now xh is a selfish, arrogant pathological liar I am soooo glad he is out of my life. Best revenge was moving on with my life.

OP, I totally understand your desire for some sort of revenge, although I don’t think you should do it. If the relationship is over in his eyes, you need to accept it. Maybe tell him how you feel before he goes away, and see if he has a positive reaction.

That being said, I think I would have to fight the urge ALOT to not do something petty. I’d like to think I’d rise above it, but depending on your acting skills (mine are good!) I would get rid of his passport, so he couldn’t go anywhere. I honestly can’t say whether I would go through with it or not, so I don’t judge you for whatever you do.

If he does go away, I would certainly rub chillies all over his underwear. I think his bits feeling like they’re on fire would dampen any sexual sparks on the trip 😂

Genuinely though, you should seriously consider just accepting that your relationship has come to an end.

I'm not by nature a killjoy, but deliberately causing pain to a person (chillies, laxative) is I believe either ABH or GBH. Definitely prosecutable, anyway. Definitely the last thing your DC needs for sure. Dad's fucked off to bang a colleague, mum's been arrested.

As the OP has married this arseclown, he has a legal right to enter the marital property, so cries of "change the locks!" are pointless too.

Ditto "Drain the joint account!" - OP will be required as part of the financial settlement to split the balance, so it's pointless. (Also if it's a work-related event then I assume work are paying and he won't need to touch his card anyway.)

In long term revenge news... I have told ex partners who have been shitty, "I have called on the gods to bring you everything you deserve." Fuck me, the superstitious ones freaked the fuck out. They've spent the rest of their lives wondering if every little downer is under my control. "OMG I got caught for speeding... wait is this part of Furiosa's curse?"

Is this a work weekend he’s going on? If not, invent an emergency and tell him he will have to cancel and look after the children as you have to go away right now. Why should you look after the kids while he goes away shagging

Buy some canesten and tell him you have thrush and he should be treated at the same time.

Ifit is a work weekend it won't make any difference, if it's an affair then it will.

And I too think the OP is just plotting and won't actually do something. Planning revenge can be cathartic.

OK OK Ok . . . Can I make it clear I was only joking re hiding sharp stuff in bag/reporting car stolen. Sorry if that wasn't clear in my post.