How to spoil husbands illicit weekend - ideas please!

[WGC3]

We are still together but on verge of separating. I know where and when he is going, cant stop it happening but would like to make sure it is less than perfect - any advice??

Stick hair removal cream in his shower gel and shampoo if he uses it. Be generous (I am joking BTW, this is almost certainly illegal)
Put a large tube of canesten and some condoms on top of his suitcase so that he knows that you know.
Have a lock smith changing the locks as he leaves to go on his trip. Nothing else will stress him out and spoil his weekend as much as thinking about you kicking him out and not letting him back in the house while he's meant to be bonking the OW.

The best form of revenge is to live well.

Op I think the best piece of advice was the one that said to speak to him before he goes and ask if he intends to sleep with her.

Do you know about the closeness because he has told you or have you read messages?

I remember that broken hearted pain, op. It's horrible.

Yes probably not a good way to start the thread. Just keep a lid on the pranks and cut contact. Pranks backfire.

Make him a cake/meal with lots of laxative in it. He'll spend his 'dirty' weekend on the toilet!

Wow! Whilst I appreciate this is an emotive situation if a man were urged to do this to a woman he'd be called abusive and controlling, likley the police would be called. Just move on, I'm sorry but it sounds like it's over.

Send him off with your blessing . Will be no fun then .

I think the only thing op is guilty if is starting the wrong thread.
It’s very clear to me that op is in distress and looking for support and didn’t know how to ask.
Start another thread op, you’ll get the emotional support and practical advice you need
I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Phone the hotel and change the booking to two single rooms on opposite sides of the hotel

Then walk away, be aloof and move on, he's a shitty excuse for a husband and get the same as a friend

OP, you say they are having an emotional affair. What do you mean by this? Do you simply mean they are close friends? Why do you think they will begin having a sexual on this work trip? Are you basing this on anything?

It won't make you happier, OP. You're only stabbing yourself and hoping it causes the other person to hurt

This is the most painful time, but once it's done and you aren't painfully waiting for the break to happen, you will start to heal and feel happier. I wish you all the best.

If it were me about to embark on a sexual affair, I'd be far less likely to go through with it if my DH was really nice to me beforehand - gave me flowers or something. If he planned some abusive revenge, I would use it as evidence of his controlling and lunatic behaviour and leave his ass immediately.

Fantasise about revenge by all means but look after yourself and don't think about him. Have friends found, drink wine, photocopy everything you need financially and make sure you book your own weekend away- ideally next weekend.

An emotional affair is absolutely a game changer as thousands of people on here have found, unfortunately

Amazed at the amount of people on this thread who, on finding their dh was about to shag their friend with whom he'd been having an emotional affair, would just say ' oh well then, go with my blessing', with no emotion at all...

Obviously you want some sort of revenge but it's not a good idea to play any physical pranks. You would be within your rights to tell them both that you know what is planned this weekend, that you find both of their behaviours intolerable and heartbreaking and ask that they remember there is a child involved in all of this, so could they please be at least honest now instead of being the nasty bastards they are planning to be....
If they have an ounce of humanity that will be enough to make them think twice about their illicit weekend away-and if not, well at least you will have taken some of the thrill
Out of it for them...half the fun for these fuckers is the secrecy.

Best of luck op. You are in for a shitty time to be honest. But you can and will get through it.

Op I really think the best revenge you can get is to completely detach from this man. Treat him coldly. Act like you don't give a shit about him. Do nothing for him. Absolutely nothing.

Meanwhile, look to heal/ reinvent yourself whether that be physically/mentally/emotionally/whatever is applicable to you
Then leave the bastard and live a bloody good life without him

What a horrible place to be in OP.

Lots of good advice on here already but start putting yourself first. Tell him you know and that this will be the final nail in the coffin, don't let him make a fool of you, he sounds like a total wanker. If it were me I would be moving out with your child if I wasn't allowed to change the locks.

Good luck xx

The situation you need help with isn't really the illicit weekend.

It's your own devastation at the betrayal by two people who are disgracing themselves, and the prospect of the end of your life as you know it, plus the fact that you are being completely devalued.

Deal with that. It's hard to resist the temptation to deflect (i.e. indulging in revenge fantasies) and in truth this is a reality that can only be taken in small doses, so fantasy plays a positive role here, but you are ultimately going to have to face the reality of what this betrayal means, and you are going to have to work hard to get through it.

This weekend, how about booking yourself in for a good long massage and a nice nail job?

Wow. Wasn't expecting that level of vitriol. Obviously haven't and couldn't go into nuances of situation, but relationships are not clear cut, and people hurt. I haven't been on Mumsnet for years, and not sure I want to come back if this is the way people behave. Was not aiming to hurt or make anyone ill, just a wee bit of salve for a broken heart after many, many years of marriage. Thank you for the empathetic ones, but based on many of these responses, there are many out there who clearly have more difficulty relating to others than I do. Good luck in your relationships if this is how you treat people - any yes, I realise I am going to get shitloads more condemnation now. Oh well..

OP, I have been there and it fucking hurts. I feel your pain. That is why I am not going to call you childish or tell you to grow up.

However, I would use the time that he is away with her to mourn the loss of him, and your relationship with him. Cry, if you need to. Shout, if you need to. Get drunk, if you need to. But let him think that you are indifferent. If you live together, change the locks. Go make an appointment with a solicitor, if needed. But please know that you need to make sure it is over.

The pain of infidelity, especially when it is rubbed in your face, is soul-destroying. But please, please look after yourself and start making plans for your future.

You will not always feel this level of pain. But you will get through it. I will be thinking of you, op. It's shit and it hurts. Take care of yourself.

But it's a work thing not an illicit weekend

I'd sit him down before he goes and say if he makes it physical his marriage is over

He wants someone else. If my partner felt that way, I wouldn't want him back.
Not everyone would fight for someone, that's a huge generalisation.

Op...you said the relationship is over. Dont lower yourself here. Accept its over. He can do whatever he wants and so can you! Get the divorce sorted asap and move on with your life.

I wouldnt do anything. I would prepare for separation. Finance, house and children need sorting out.

Rub chilli peppers in all his underpants! And prawn juice in his shoes. They will stink to high heaven after a few hours.

Don’t embarrass yourself.

Act with dignity