How to spoil husbands illicit weekend - ideas please!

[WGC3]

We are still together but on verge of separating. I know where and when he is going, cant stop it happening but would like to make sure it is less than perfect - any advice??

Omg this thread is unbelievable. Have some dignity and let him go and don’t look back. He is having an illicit weekend!!! Where is dignity?

OP ignore those on their high horses. Of course you want to ruin his weekend.

could you go out Friday night and come back Saturday morning? Just to make him wonder. And not without leaving him a deliciously extra garlicky pasta the night before his weekend out. If he’s counting on having clothes washed for the weekend, maybe too much soap for a subtle dog scent? A bit of dog poo on his shoes, maybe? Very childish of me, I know... expo’s advice is definitely better!

How can you possibly want someone who shows you that level of disrespect?

I can't believe some of the responses on here - asking why should the OP care? He's her fucking husband being unfaithful and ending her relationship. Do you think that people stop having emotions and feelings just because the other half of the partnership wants out?

Why be subtle and waste emotional energy thinking up ways to ruin it, they are going anyway.. seriously think about telling him not to bother coming home, have his bags packed and a cheap hotel booked for when he gets back.

@shinynewapple nobody is saying it doesn’t hurt or she doesn’t have emotions. But if your other half wants out then let them go. Don’t do some silly childish stunt. It just in the end keeps you engaged when you should be disengaging.

I second the laxitives idea! @UncleMatthew you are an evil genius! Run the car very low on fuel then superglue the petrol cap? Can you find out the room number and order takeaways to arrive every 20 minutes? Or if you can't, get them delivered to the front desk? Use his credit card of course ( take the number before he goes) and use as many different takeaways as possible...

Has he gone already??

I don’t think there’s anything you can do to make yourself feel better.

When he comes back go away for a few days yourself.

Give the OP a break people fgs. I’d suggest talking to your DP, making him aware you know and if you still want the relationship to work how you are going to repair the relationship. That’s obviously if you want to remain together.

If you’ve decided you’re done in the relationship then by all means get your revenge (although it won’t make you feel any better).

Let him go, root through all his drawers and get all the information that you need to give to you solicitor while he's gone.

Soak any underwear he's left at home in chanel no 5, mind.

Use the joint account to go to a spa this weekend. Ideally with a best friend so you can have a cry and a bitch.
Create a bucket list of stuff you are going to do when single (anything delicious and outrageous).
Then go back home, sort the paperwork, work out your finances and book the solicitor.

Are you the poster who is posted constantly about this bloke?

I am shocked at some of the nasty responses here telling OP to stop being 'petty'.
They are not separated, he is cheating on her. No wonder she is upset!

Your relationship is over because he doesn't want to be married to you any more. It's horrible, but there is nothing you can do other than suck it up and make sure you get a fair division of assets, etc.
Playing nasty, childish pranks will not change his mind. If you try to wreck his weekend, you will end up looking like a spiteful mad cow, and he will use that to convince your mutual friends and even family members that he had to dump you because you are a spiteful mad cow.

"emotional infidelity at the mo (longstanding with co-worker) on overseas work trip, might be heading towards full infidelity. Probably makes me a v bad person, but I would feel better if they didn't have a fantastic time... just looking for a subtle intervention to piss on their parade - Im only human..."

Honestly? Before he goes, look him in the eye and calmly ask him if he intends to shag her this weekend. The say nothing more, just wait for him to reply.

He'll likely recall your calm question at the fateful time.

And YOU should reconsider WHY you don't want to separate.

TBH if a person's first response to 'I am leaving you and the relationship is over' is 'how can I hurt you, make you ill and damage your belongings'? then it's kind of... not unreasonable that the other partner wants out of the relationship. Petty, vindictive people don't make good partners.

Grow up! Sounds like's lucky to escape such a vindictive person.

Use the time to go through every shred of paper in the house to ensure that he can’t screw you financially.

Dignity?! The man is having an emotional affair, going away with the OW and hasn't got enough respect for OP to keep it in his pants till they are actually separated!

Sardines in his suitcase is the least he deserves. Admittedly I hate cheaters, and am possibly a little irrational on the subject

and I'd be very tempted to go the laxative before he goes route

I’d let him go and change the locks but if you’re set on doing something just cancel his cards. He’ll look like he’s just got nothing in the bank and his bit on the side will likely be put off- married man, all the hassle and drama that comes with being a mistress then being expected to foot the bill because he’s skint? No thank you.
NB: I’ve never been a mistress so could be way off with this.

Wow. Wasn't expecting that level of vitriol. Obviously haven't and couldn't go into nuances of situation, but relationships are not clear cut, and people hurt. I haven't been on Mumsnet for years, and not sure I want to come back if this is the way people behave. Was not aiming to hurt or make anyone ill, just a wee bit of salve for a broken heart after many, many years of marriage. Thank you for the empathetic ones, but based on many of these responses, there are many out there who clearly have more difficulty relating to others than I do. Good luck in your relationships if this is how you treat people - any yes, I realise I am going to get shitloads more condemnation now. Oh well..

The relationship is over OP.
You can't make someone stay and behaving in some of these ways only further reminds someone why they're leaving.
How you are feeling is entirely 100% understandable. But this situation is what it is and ploughing all this emotional energy into thinking of spiteful plans isn't going to make you feel any better, it's not going to change the situation.

Sometimes I think it's easy on MN to get to into suggesting revenge actions etc because the drama sounds exciting when the person the other side of the screen is someon really emotionally mixed up in a horrible situation.

Hopefully you're not still cooking food for the fucker or doing anything else, so the laxative idea, although a good one, won't work.

Make sure he knows he's not coming back home afterwards and change the locks is all I can add.

I know legally it's not advisable but, really, let him go to court to get back in if he wants to put himself out.

Hope you don't mind me asking, op, but do you have children?