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Original poster

Humiliated by dh in middle of Costco

306 replies

Mummy20192 · 06/09/2019 20:29

I feel humiliated and broken... went out shopping with Dds and dh to Costco. Heaving with ppl. We qued up to pay for shopping, when dh asked to return trolley. On my way back with dds after putting trolley back, we were stopped by a promotional lady sampling eczema creams.. youngest dd suffers from horrendous eczema so we stopped to sample a bit of cream.. we were away maybe for 5 min tops... my phone was on silent so didn’t hear dhs missed calls.

He saw us standing and started shouting top of his lungs do my wallet with my Costco cards, I was shocked everyone stopped and stared at me.. I was like “I’m sorry I’m coming” he blasted back “well answer your phone”.

I was so embarrassed, everyone close by stopped at stared at me being screamed at.. the lady who was showing the sample was so embarrassed, she apologised. I have never been humiliated so badly in my life.

He said sorry for shouting, but I’m heartbroken and this infront of the dds.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 06/09/2019 21:01

Yes what’s the backstory here because shouting at someone because you are at the front of the queue and need their Costco card and not answering their phone is one of those embarrassing arguments people have caused by a stressful situation

Choice4567 · 06/09/2019 21:01

I still can’t work out what he even shouted. And you have to scan the card first before the cashier can start scanning stuff. So yes you were making him hold up the queue

LatteLove · 06/09/2019 21:02

If this is all there was to it, you’re overreacting. I’d be pissed off too in that situation, plus why were you returning the trolley when he was still to pay? Where was he going to put the shopping?

It sounds though that’s this might just be one example of many if it’s got to you so much x

Horehound · 06/09/2019 21:03

Why would he need to call you if you were 4 or 5 metres away?

This whole thing is weird.

HJWT · 06/09/2019 21:03

I personally can't work out why it took FIVE minutes to sample a cream ConfusedConfusedConfused

marvellousnightforamooncup · 06/09/2019 21:04

You need to get a thicker skin, are there creams for that in Costco? And turn your phone up.

LolaSmiles · 06/09/2019 21:04

Choice4567
I'm guessing something like "Julie! Julie! I need my wallet and the card!" Or "Julie what you doing? We need the card?"

The sort of thing that is reasonable but would embarass someone who has walked off and left their partner in a queue and is now holding the whole queue up so they chat to some salesperson.

passionfruit11 · 06/09/2019 21:05

Prize for the most dramatic take on a non event ever goes to ...

Rainonmyguitar · 06/09/2019 21:05

My DP has been known to wander away from the till forgetting that he's got the card we're using to pay for shopping etc. It is very annoying so I can understand your DHs frustration(sorry).

Mary1935 · 06/09/2019 21:06

Hi OP is this the first time he’s done this to you or does he normally treat you well?

chesci · 06/09/2019 21:06

But they can't start scanning until you hand the card over. I can see how he would be stressed if he was holding up or clearly about to be holding up a queue in a busy shop while you stood sampling cream....I'd have shouted across the shop to my DH too if he was stood there like a lemon holding the damn card.

flametrees · 06/09/2019 21:08

Gosh so much rudeness.

Choice4567 · 06/09/2019 21:08

Well if you had the card, the transaction couldn’t progress and you hadn’t heard your phone, what did you expect him to do? Stand there quietly apologising to everyone until you bothered to come back?

RingtheBells · 06/09/2019 21:09

Good lord, I thought he had maybe done something really bad not just shouted for the cards as you had not heard his phone calls. Humiliated and broken???

ChippyMinton · 06/09/2019 21:09

This doesn’t make sense to me.
Why did you have the card if he was paying (don’t you each have a card?)?
Why were you returning the trolley? Just do it on the way out?

Houseworkavoider · 06/09/2019 21:10

I get it.
I’m sorry for you Flowers
Can you expand on what you said about your Dh always snapping at you?

I think it’s more the the way the op was spoken to rather than just her Dh calling for her loudly!

Lockheart · 06/09/2019 21:13

YABU.

Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to hold up a checkout queue because your darling other half has disappeared because they forgot one thing and then decides to spend a few minutes browsing "because I thought it might be nice to have Y for dinner" whilst you're stood at the checkout wondering where the fuck he's got to with everyone else staring daggers at you?

He shouldn't have snapped, you shouldn't have dawdled.

everyonecaneffoff · 06/09/2019 21:13

I've never been to Costco but I presume that as you were returning the trolley, the shopping must have been on the belt already. So this would mean that you really didn't have much time to return the trolley and come back before the Costco card was needed.
You should have gone straight back after returning the trolley (though I find this trolley business a bit bizarre anyway - why not just return it when you've finished at the till).

None of us were there so can't judge what his tone was like. If this is a one off incident where he got stressed and ended up shouting across the shop at you, then it's not that a big of a deal and there is no need for words such as heartbroken and humiliated.
If there's a backstory to this than maybe this was the last straw for you but none of us can have any idea just based on what you have posted.

Ivestoppedreadingthenews · 06/09/2019 21:16

This would be pretty minor incident in our relationship. A little irritation rather than me feeling humiliated. Is there anything about it that made it especially bad or some background?

ChicCroissant · 06/09/2019 21:17

I've been a Costco member for years and yes, you do need the card before the assistant can scan the goods - but you also need the trolley, so why did you return a trolley if you hadn't paid for the goods, you'd need the trolley as well to get through the till? Never seen the kind of creams there that would treat exczema either tbh.

Durgasarrow · 06/09/2019 21:18

What you were doing would definitely be anxiety provoking for him and very annoying.

DeeCeeCherry · 06/09/2019 21:20

You're not over reacting OP. People who say you are, are just ignorant. If their H shouted at them in public there's no way they wouldn't be humiliated. Like him tho - They are bullies who need an audience be it in real life or online.

I bet everyone who gawped in the shop were thinking he was ignorant too. I would. Sounds as if he embarrassed the woman giving out samples too.

Don't let anyone think its OK to just embarrass you publicly. & for what? Because he was held up a bit in a shop? That's happened to me waiting for DP who's still in a shop aisle getting something. I just let the person behind me go in front of me since I'm not blind and can see he isn't back. I wouldn't be bawling across the shop at him.

I'm sorry you're feeling bad. You'll have to talk to him about it but unfortunately I doubt he will listen. If he can let his mouth run in public and in front of your DD too I can't imagine he has any filter. Telling you off as if you are his child - & even if you were, it's not on.

sqirrelfriends · 06/09/2019 21:20

I would have probably done the same as your DH tbh. You already mentioned the store was heaving. He probably wanted to be able to pay ASAP but wasn't able to.

BlockedAndDeleted · 06/09/2019 21:23

Five minutes is a huge amount of time. He was probably anxious and embarrassed that he holding the queue as you need the card to start scanning yes?

He was probably showing the queue that he was well aware of the inconvenience you were putting them through and showing them v clearly he was doing something about it.

And the humiliated heartbroken reaction is pure drama llama.

If you’ve I have never been humiliated so badly in my life. you have led a very charmed and privileged life indeed - maybe that’s why you seemingly have no resilience - or consideration for other people.

Asta19 · 06/09/2019 21:23

Ok I’m going to go out on a limb here. You say he wasn’t even at the point of needing the card when he shouted at you and your reaction maybe suggests you are somewhat wary of him?

I’m with a couple of other posters who have suggested we need a little more background. If there’s more to this than meets the eye, you can be honest about that. We can’t really help you unless you are.

Either way I hope you are ok,