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Original poster

Humiliated by dh in middle of Costco

306 replies

Mummy20192 · 06/09/2019 20:29

I feel humiliated and broken... went out shopping with Dds and dh to Costco. Heaving with ppl. We qued up to pay for shopping, when dh asked to return trolley. On my way back with dds after putting trolley back, we were stopped by a promotional lady sampling eczema creams.. youngest dd suffers from horrendous eczema so we stopped to sample a bit of cream.. we were away maybe for 5 min tops... my phone was on silent so didn’t hear dhs missed calls.

He saw us standing and started shouting top of his lungs do my wallet with my Costco cards, I was shocked everyone stopped and stared at me.. I was like “I’m sorry I’m coming” he blasted back “well answer your phone”.

I was so embarrassed, everyone close by stopped at stared at me being screamed at.. the lady who was showing the sample was so embarrassed, she apologised. I have never been humiliated so badly in my life.

He said sorry for shouting, but I’m heartbroken and this infront of the dds.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummy20192 · 06/09/2019 20:45

He wasn’t paying he was at the front of the que... even when I got back he didn’t pay for anything and the lady started scanning

OP posts:
Everythingmagnolia · 06/09/2019 20:46

I couldn't get upset over this

Yeahnahyeah1 · 06/09/2019 20:46

You can’t see how that would be a bit of a stressy situation? Being at the front of the queue with a load of people behind you, with no means of paying, having tried and tried to get hold of the person who did have means of paying? Yea sorry I’d be snappy too, and he’s apologised since. You need to let it go.

HumphreyCobblers · 06/09/2019 20:47

I would be embarrassed and humiliated if my husband had yelled at me like that in a shop, making everyone look.

Mumsnet is so strange, why is it suddenly acceptable to shout publically at someone?

ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents · 06/09/2019 20:47

I felt so belittled

In the kindest way possible, please get a grip. Your reaction is so dramatic and it certainly does not seem reasonable considering the situation. He even apologised to you, and I assume you did not for holding him and others up.

Let it go and stop making this an issue in front of your children, you are being ridiculous.

HumphreyCobblers · 06/09/2019 20:48

You have the right not to be yelled at OP, in public OR in private.

It doesn't even sound as if you actually held him up? But even if you had, he has no right to shout at you.

What a strange thread.

Floralnomad · 06/09/2019 20:48

Complete over reaction on your part .

Rachelle11 · 06/09/2019 20:48

I would be super stressed if I was in line to pay and my dh took off to sample stuff. He was likely stressed out since you weren't answering your phone either. He should not have shouted but I get the stress he was feeling.

Whatevskev · 06/09/2019 20:49

hes always snapping

OP in a normal relationship with healthy boundaries and behaviour this wouldn’t even touch the sides of your hurt I suspect.

What’s underlying it?

In what way is he always snapping?
Was his shouting loud and a bit irritated or nasty and screeching?

Gazelda · 06/09/2019 20:49

She couldn't start scanning until,she had swiped the Costco card. That's how their system works. So yes, you help him (and other customers) up.
He may have shouted louder than necessary, but accept that you caused the situation.

Yeahnahyeah1 · 06/09/2019 20:49

Being genuine, does it sound like he shouted AT her or did he shout TO her because she was still a distance away, in order for her to hear (albeit in a stroppy way)?

EmmiJay · 06/09/2019 20:50

I'm sorry?? Am I reading replies right about her being oversensitive????? What the actual FUCK?! How about he just calls her name to get her attention??? All that other commentary shit was not necessary! Sorru he embarrassed you like that OP. He sounds rude and tbh I'd of asked him "why the fuck is he shouting like that?!" But then I'm just like that so..

Redglitter · 06/09/2019 20:50

Humiliated, broken & heartbroken sounds like a massive over reaction. Under the circumstances described I'd have been pissed off at you too

ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents · 06/09/2019 20:50

He wasn’t paying he was at the front of the que... even when I got back he didn’t pay for anything and the lady started scanning

But you DID hold them up, they could not start scanning until the he had the Costco card. How are you failing to see that you were in the wrong here?

If you were in his position holding people up while he was sampling products, I am certain you would have felt frustrated and annoyed, as would anyone.

flametrees · 06/09/2019 20:50

Did you know you had his cards?
Dh often puts stuff in my bag and I don't even remember it's there. He could have left the queue for a second rather than roar. No way I'd roar in his position. I'd be annoyed maybe but roaring is not on.

LolaSmiles · 06/09/2019 20:51

He wasn’t paying he was at the front of the que... even when I got back he didn’t pay for anything and the lady started scanning
Oh that's ok then, he was just at the front of the queue when you may or may not have come back in time because sampling creams was an utterly more important thing to do than ensuring he had the relevant cards.
He should have waited for everything to scan and then when at the moment of payment waited to see if you felt you'd done enough cream sampling and chatting to the sales rep before leaving the queue to quietly, hiding his own embarrassment and subtly collected the card from you ensuring that at no point you felt awkward for the situation you created.

ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents · 06/09/2019 20:51

Also, he tried to call you multiple times to get your attention, only when that failed did he shout across to you get your attention.

Hmm
LolaSmiles · 06/09/2019 20:53

Edit post to include , those who know Costco more than me have confirmed he couldn't do anything without the card.

That's even more ridiculous OP. You've tried to suggest it wasn't that bad because he wasn't paying. Those in the knownhave confirmed it was that sort of situation if nothing could be scanned without the card.

cptartapp · 06/09/2019 20:54

Get it together OP. I suspect you're exaggerating his reaction. Stick to the job in hand.

fandabbyfannyflutters · 06/09/2019 20:57

My dh does stuff like this all the time and he never hears when I call him at a normal volume so have to yell my head off and look like a psycho

Didkdt · 06/09/2019 20:58

I think you have had a truly wonderful life if THAT was the most humiliating experience that you have ever had.

Techway · 06/09/2019 20:58

Can you see why he was frustrated? Do you see how annoying it is when someone wonders off, 5 mins in a coffee queue is a long time to be away.

Accept some responsibility and maybe he will accept he over reacted.

Didkdt · 06/09/2019 20:58

Sorry posted too soon, but just to add that Costco and IKEA are not the places that bring out the best in a family day out

GiveMeHope103 · 06/09/2019 20:59

I cant blame him sorry. It isnt right that he did that but you were utterly infuriating dwadling around and with your phone on silent when he needed the card. You were meant to leave the trolley because you knew he was getting ready to start loading the items. And 5 min is a bloody long time.

Kiddofreddo80 · 06/09/2019 21:00

humiliated heartbroken embarrassed

What??? Because your DH shouted? Really? Grow up!!!!!