Dating thread 169: You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body...

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

Thread 169 open for business, roll up, roll up...

Oh mytime maybe he’s just technologically inane like me!!

Checking in.

No update about 5in1 he is physically broken and housebound for another few weeks at least and now I'm ill and have had serious warning from paramedic to slow the F down and am taking a few weeks off work. Live 90 minutes away and neither of us likely to be able to do the drive for a while. I was a bit shit at his injury because of where my head was at and there's only so many times you can do a round of "how is it today?" "Really bad I'm so fed up". He on the other hand has been super lovely and supportive about my illness

The good(ish?) news is I'm too ill to give a shit and definitely too ill to look for dates, so it's quite nice having the company what do you mean mysery loves company

Thanks for the new thread @JeSuisPrest 🙂

@WhatWhyWhen whatsapp stalking is the root of all evil. I say I wont. And then I do. I wonder if the men do it too?

coffee sorry to read of your trials 💐. Why is mr 5in1 broken???

@WhatWhyWhen I mean this kindly but you don't know him well enough to know his WA behaviour, please relax. We all use WA differently, friends send me recipes, links to websites, videos and I could easily be on at 2am trying to find one of these and I'd hate Mr R to see anything in it. Or I could just be innocently chatting to a friend?

It is an interesting question as to whether men obsess about wa as much as women, perhaps someone can answer?

@Coffeeandchocolate9 I'm sorry I missed this. Are you ok? stupid question I hope you get better soon

No I don't think I obsess about WA, not unless I see a change in behaviour and then it just irritates me as I know it's game playing. MissH did it, first few weeks almost immediate replying and a constant stream throughout the day, that changed when things started going wrong to messages being left unread for hours and a big drop off in volume. But you only focus on it then because you know something's changed.
Like Stealth says you can't worry about this at the beginning until you know more about someone. I use WA a lot, and chatting with women from OLD only accounts for a very small part of that.

Coffee hope you and Mr5in1 are both feeling better soon!

coffee hope you're ok
notcool they're 8 and 11.

Gah! I hear you everyone with scheduling issues, I'm trying to set up an opportunity to host at mine, because I feel too old to be shagging in a car, and it's in October!! If only the kids dad would do weekends!! I feel like I AM Ms Unavailable!!

@StealthNinjaMum I don’t obsess about WA or messaging in general, to be honest I find it odd that some people manage to exchange so many messages in one day. MrNN has been in Sweden since Monday, we messaged Monday night when he arrived, we’ve both been busy so haven’t since, not an issue 🤷🏽‍♂️

I tried to do a reply to everyone on the last thread but it vanished.

So, no DTD today for me as MrSolid's teenage son came home 🤣.

I was just thinking about WhatsApp. It's weird. With some men I've been quite noticey (made up word) of the patterns. With others....I just dont notice anything. E.g. it could be a day or an hour or whatever but I feel pretty relaxed about it. I feel like those are the people who are basically right for you

I agree with the comment below by @Ant330 I only notice someone's WA behaviour when they suddenly change. With some I hardly notice or look. But when I feel a shift in behaviour I start to look and notice.

Looking back on those times, it's been for a reason. The min the energy shifts or notice a change that creates you to start looking. Chances are you are right and it's the start of the end.

Dating thread 169: You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body...

I'm here for the title - top shelf! 🤣 🎉

Agreed Lifegoes the change in behaviour has a reason behind it and from my experience not a positive one.
But when you're communicating with a few irons, you quickly see the difference in volume, regularity, the times of day that people do and don't message, and also tone. I know it's pointing out the obvious, but all of those can be completely different. So you can't worry about a lack of messaging or long periods with no reply, until you start to understand the person, their routines, responsibilities and personality.
But like the thread title says, that's assuming we're applying common sense.

@Ant330 I think your points are 100% right. You can't judge anyone early on. I often find myself in a group chat more on some days than others. So it will look like I'm online loads. Sometimes I'm busy with work and life. So anyone dating me, must think she's all over the place 😂😂

I haven't posted about me @StealthNinjaMum that's why - I've got suspected viral meningitis. All a bit dramatic with an ambulance called and such but it's not the more dangerous kind, bacterial, and the only treatment for viral is to wait it out like any other virus. Symptoms are pretty similar to flu, but can last much longer - I've never wished I had the flu so hard ever in my life! Drs tomorrow I think as it's no better 4 days in.

He broke his ankle and it turns out its
proper fucked and needs an operation.

Thanks Ant life and others.

I think my most recent headfuck and the one before has left me on WA red alert as it was the shift I noticed and I wasn’t wrong.

I need to chill on this though as MrRugby is totally consistent, and MrEP and I both work crazy hours so it’s always been on and off messaging. I have no reason to suddenly be concerned. This is driven by past history of flakes, not the now.

And actually I don’t like constant messaging!

Coffee that sounds awful hope you feel better soon!

@Coffeeandchocolate9 I'm so sorry to hear that, how awful. I hope you start to recover. And I hope Mr 5in1 makes a quick recovery after his op too.

@whatwhywhen I do totally get the WA obsession as before I met Mr R I was dating a guy who was constantly messaging. One night he didn't and I just knew he was on another date and the next day he dumped me. And when I started dating Mr R his messaging/ WA usage was all over the place. Still is but I am used to it so don't mind.

I agree WA behaviour only becomes an issue if you know things aren't right. It's never an issue on its own if everything is ticking along nicely.

I'm constantly on WA on groups so anyone I date would have to accept that and not assume I was busy chatting to a load of other men!

Whatwhywhen you can't help but be affected by your past shitty experiences, I know I am, but as long as you do what you're doing now which is recognising that it's just you 2nd guessing if the same will happen again.
Don't make any rash decisions that you may regret knowing that, but at the same time don't ignore your gut instincts. As many on here have said before, those instincts are right a lot more often than they're wrong.
Coffee sounds horrible, hope you're on the mend soon. How did he break his ankle, sounds nasty!
TooOld unlucky! 😂