If you found out your dh had had an affair for 16 months would you ...

[Eggid]

Throw him out? Even if he’s all you’ve ever known and you’ve been together for nearly 40 years? Even if he’s spent the 10 months since you found out doing all in his power to put things right?

Some days I want to kill myself. Some days I want to kill him. Most days I just don’t know what to do.

Please tell me what you would do given that we’ve been together since we were teenagers. Dc are all grown up and gone, and they don’t know anything.

Thank you.

[Mylifestartstoday]

As you know Op I’m in the same position, as in my husband had a long affair, I’m having counselling but it took me a couple of sessions to find a counsellor I felt I could open up to so maybe have a think as to whether this one is the one for you. I find it hard to talk about it, some people still don’t know, but it does help me talk to someone unconnected plus she is there to help me, not us. We’re not doing couples counselling because he’s not willing to talk about what he’s done.. I did spend one session just crying for the whole 50 minutes, but on the whole I find them really useful.

[Stillfunny]

I was wondering why I couldn't PM norabloom. Guess the vitriol put her off. Sorry but I don't think something that happened 25 ! years ago , that was worked through, and a better relationship evolved from it , justifies her DH having a full blown affair with a mutual acquaintance.
And as she was going through treatment for breast cancer , her DH had the OW in the house, in the marital bed!! So many boundaries crossed , so traumatic.

[Lozzerbmc]

How are you OP?