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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Boyfriend has just blocked me, everywhere

169 replies

Blockedandfarted · 03/09/2019 09:35

My relationship (under one year) ended yesterday and he's blocked me across all channels, WhatsApp Facebook Instagram and I'm guessing text.

A pattern was forming where he'd blow hot and cold so I addressed it yesterday for the second time as I was quite frankly sick of it and wanted to know where I stood once and for all.

After a tense exchange he apologised for the hot/cold stuff and cited having alot on his plate. I said that may be and I'm sorry to hear that but it doesn't give you an excuse to treat me like crap by blowing hot and cold.

He then told me he thinks it's best we leave it between us because he's a good person and I'm making him feel like shit about himself by saying that, he said goodbye and blocked me everywhere without a proper chance for me to respond.

All I did was point out the obvious that it's not ok to push/pull me at his convenience.

He was looking for a way out wasn't he?

I'm hurt that he felt the need to be as drastic as to cut me off completely, I was nothing but good to him. Just last week he was love bombing me with declarations of hope for the future and now this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blockedandfarted · 04/09/2019 09:42

Yes quite Smile

In fact I'm glad I looked actually, it's left me with absolutely no doubt that he really is a wanker and not a nice person so I have no regrets at all.

OP posts:
Rivkka · 04/09/2019 11:15

I'm surprised he's not rocked back up yet. He will by the weekend. Sadly.

ReanimatedSGB · 04/09/2019 11:31

I bet there are several of his exes pointing and laughing at that tweet, as well. What a tragic little man. I hope he was at least a passable shag.

Original poster
Blockedandfarted · 04/09/2019 12:35

He was quite selfish in that respect too to be totally honest.

It's interesting that alot of people think he's going to come back, I would be very surprised as it all seems very much like a final discard with an all out block.

There are some background factors involved aswell I think, he said a couple of days before the block that he doesn't think my father likes him and that he looks down his nose at him etc. This isn't nessecarily true but my DF did say at one point that something seems "off about him.

I'm fortunate in the sense of having a solid support network of friends and family who look out for me and that doesn't bode well with narcissists does it.

He'd be best off finding somebody more naive, not that I'd wish the headfuck on anybody else ofc.

OP posts:
Onemansoapopera · 04/09/2019 12:38

1/ don't look again

2/ I agree he's not coming back

Job done and next!

AnnaNimmity · 04/09/2019 12:42

well done OP! He sounds dreadful. I have also been subject to similar treatment (also by a bald and wrinkly man) and he always comes back. So don't be surprised!

Stay away from his social media - it's a tool to manipulate and belittle you. Good luck!

Original poster
Blockedandfarted · 04/09/2019 12:49

I won't be looking again that's for sure.

Sorry you've endured the clusterfuck of the bald wrinkly type too, Anna! Here's to hoping they get gone and stay gone Wine

OP posts:
GreigLaidlawsbarofsoap · 04/09/2019 12:56

I won't echo all the good advice already given OP as you seem to be doing a fab job of getting your head straight anyway, but just wanted to give you a round of applause for also choosing a brilliant name change for this thread Grin👏

Original poster
Blockedandfarted · 04/09/2019 14:21

He thanks Greig I couldn't resist, it's a classic Grin

OP posts:
QualCheckBot · 04/09/2019 21:05

Wow, and all this after a spending time together perfectly happy.

tbh he sounds as if he hates people and can't be emotionally intimate. Probably scared himself. Is he one of those ones without many friends?

He really is behaving more like a teenager with his status on FB and memes. How cringeworthy. He is also possibly trying to get attention from another woman who is on his FB, almost certainly someone who isn't interested (otherwise he'd be contacting her directly).

TheWickerWoman · 04/09/2019 22:53

I guarantee you he will be back, he will make it look like there was a reason he had to contact you. You not contacting him will be killing him now because his mind games aren’t working.

These silly mind games are all about manipulation and control because he is obviously very insecure but I’m sure you’ve already worked that out,

God, you didn’t half dodge a bullet there, I bet the more he’s done the less attractive he has become to you. Please let us know when he comes crawling back so we can have a good laugh at him.

ChopinIn10Minuets · 04/09/2019 23:50

He sounds like a 17year old.

Excuse me. My DD and her BF are both deeply insulted by the comparison. Grin

CatPunsFreakMeowt · 05/09/2019 00:25

I bet anything he will be back so be prepared for that. I was with a similar blow hot & cold man. The last time he blew cold I wouldn’t give him any more chances. 3 months later he still regularly tries to persue me. These men have serious issues.

thewooster · 05/09/2019 06:52

He sounds a complete idiot. Stay strong OP, you deserve much better than this man in your life. Hopefully he will never bother you again.

Original poster
Blockedandfarted · 05/09/2019 09:56

Hi all, thanks once again for the replies and giving me a place to vent so as to keep my dignity in tact and not feel tempted to let him know he's a wanker Smile

It would appear alot of you were right, I'm now fairly certain this is about control and punishment. I've cut off his final avenue to me last night, I didn't even realise beforehand he'd left one open.

I was on Snapchat yesterday catching up with my Dsis's holiday story. He doesn't actively use Snapchat but he has installed because his DD enjoys playing with the filter faces. He has no snap score so doesn't interact on there.

Well there he was, I wasn't blocked, and he kept 'sharing his location' with me and then hiding it again, popping on every so often to 'show' where he was.

I've swiftly blocked him there now so the next time he's on the application he won't be able to see my contact.

I'm now wondering if I'm even blocked in text and calls or whether he's just done it on WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram where he can make a point of me knowing about it.

Strangely, I've had the best three nights sleep I've had in a long time since he hasn't been on my telephone. Thats quite telling I think.

OP posts:
LightTripper · 05/09/2019 10:24

Oh that's good ... he's obviously irritated that you've drawn a line under it rather than becoming an emotional mess without him... kinda satisfying?

Original poster
Blockedandfarted · 05/09/2019 10:26

Very much so Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Blockedandfarted · 05/09/2019 14:32

Well he's back, you clever lot. Just hours after I blocked him on Snapchat he must have realised I'm past caring so he unblocked me on Facebook and sent this

"I miss you very much (my name) and I'm truly sorry, i do hope you're OK. I'm in (area) helping my friend move today then getting a new TV but want to speak to you properly later and I would like to move forward with you because I believe in us (my name). I'll message you tonight when I get home. I hope you're OK and you're throat is better x"

Then he attached a link for a trip advisor review he left for a place we went the other week, gushing about how he went with his "beautiful girlfriend"

Ha Ha Ha. No mate Grin

OP posts:
CassettesAreCool · 05/09/2019 14:36

Unbelievable. What a twunt. Make no response at all.

ReanimatedSGB · 05/09/2019 14:39

Oh, excellent. TBH it's probably best not to respond at all (because that will annoy him the most) tempting though it is to reply 'No chance, wanker, now fuck off.'

Drum2018 · 05/09/2019 14:48

Now you can block him on Facebook. Do it asap so he doesn't even get the chance to message you again later. And have your settings so that only friends can see your profile (not even friends of friends) - nothing public at all as he could set up a fake profile to keep an eye on you. He's predictable so at least you were warned and expected him to message.

JingsMahBucket · 05/09/2019 14:52

@Blockedandfarted I love and hate how accurate all of us were in regard to him popping up again. Block him on FB now and don’t look back. The same on Instagram as well or at least switch your account to private so he can’t see your updates.

JingsMahBucket · 05/09/2019 14:53

Take a screenshot of the FB message first in case you need it later then block.

Sansastark45 · 05/09/2019 14:57

Brilliant!

What an absolute twat waffle! We all knew he would be back.

Don't even reply - it will infuriate him :)

Onemansoapopera · 05/09/2019 15:11

From the way you've been checking out his socials (like a 17 year old yourself)... You're so going to get back with him, don't even deny it .. we've all been there, there's no shame in it !! 🤣