Break up support thread 2

[Jonsnowsghost]

Carrying on the supportive previous thread that ran out of space!
@herbsmokedchicken definitely that, although I wouldn't as I'm not a cheat....

I've been a right little sly cow went out tonight and wore his top, put on an Instagram story of me and another boy who he doesn't know petty but I don't really care!! Not planned either. Serves him right tho.

Tinsel well done x

Haven't even drunk text!!

We still keeping our chins up ladies?

Sometimes petty things make us feel a bit better tho don’t they!

I’m not feeling too bad today, still just vaguely meh but I guess I’m getting there. I just miss him so much tho still!

Just feeling really lonely today :(

Yeah same, like I’m not full on devastated anymore but I’m just sad and lonely

So hard not to talk to him especially when I see him active on social media!! For god sake

Yeah I just want to talk to him! I miss him so much! Uuuuugh why has this happened to me! It is NOT FAIR.

Just can’t stop flashing back to how happy we were and I can’t understand how it all went wrong. Well I can, as I said on the first thread I suspect that the initial infatuation wore off and there just wasn’t any real love to replace it but I also just can’t understand it! It’s that thing I’ve said before of knowing something but not being able to actually believe it yet

I’ve been using the story function on FB which I don’t normally use but every now and again I’ll get a craze on it. He’s been watching them all but I don’t think that means anything as it’s not straight away or anything, think he’s just one of those people who likes to go through peoples stories - not something we ever discussed. But still gives me a little thrill.

See my ex is the same with my Instagram stories but he never really used it when we were together. I'm so ready to talk to him and act all nice and normal and not seem like I care!!!

Yup it’s horrible!

Whilst I know it’s not especially healthy, I keep thinking “this time last month we were happy...this time six weeks ago we were happy...” etc as the time goes on and I’ve just realised I can’t even say now that this time two months ago we were happy, as he was starting to fall out of love with me by about this point. It’s a horrible thought, time is rushing on and it’s good in a way as I know I’ll be alright in the end but also means one of the happiest times of my life is getting further and further away. What if ten years down the line I’m still alone and all I can do is remember those nine months when someone loved me? And yes I know I don’t need someone else to complete me but fuck I did love being someone’s girlfriend. It was just as good as I’d thought it would be and then it got taken away (how many times have I said this now?!)

Hope everyone is having a good bank holiday, we are being very lazy after being away all weekend but going for a swim in about an hour.

I guess when we can go a few hours and suddenly think “hey I’ve not wanted to talk to him” we will know things are getting better!

Bank Holiday! All this unstructured time is making me panic. I've gone shopping and done a bit of cleaning. Then it hits me like a sledge hammer. Went to sleep just to escape for a bit only to be woken up by a plonker selling loans over the phone!

It's the starting life again than scares me, I just don't feel capable. I don't want to be starting it again, that's the problem.. Pity party for one right here...

Yeah I know what you mean about not wanting to start again! Like I wasn’t supposed to have to start again, it was supposed to all be sorted!

Would of been
At family bbq today lovely day for it too!

Instead at home watching Netflix

Well you know mine still watches my Instagram stories, normally within an hour of me posting them!! But he's also now using them loads when he never did with me, tbh I think it's because he's insecure and trying to prove a point. And maybe because he doesnt want to post on his actual page (I haven't looked but up until a week or so a ago he hadn't still) whereas when we got together he posted loads of photos of me 🤷🏻‍♀️ who knows what's going on in their brains

Who knows indeed! Ugh.

I feel strangely at peace with it today, it's scary! Probably will cry in a few hours

I have moments like that!

I filled my Monday up, but for some reason I'm feeling meh about the whole situation, i don't actually know when he started cheating, he told me it was in the last 3 months, I keep going over the last 3 months. I was doing so well, I'm having a blip, talk some sense into me girls :)

We all have blips, it’s ok! You’ve been doing so well. It’s so hard not to go over and over it tho isn’t it? Mine didn’t cheat but I still keep thinking, when did his feeling start to change? Could we have fixed it if he’d said sooner? It’s horrible isn’t it? But we will be ok!

I’m watching a YouTube vlog, I’ve been struggling to watch this lady’s videos since the split as the reason I started watching her was because I was learning more about A’s culture, so it makes me think of him and happier times (especially as when I started watching her videos was at the point in our relationship when I would say we were at our strongest and happiest) but I really like her so I’m trying to solider through it!

Really feel down this evening. Not just because of him, just back to work blues, general end of summer blues, just feel really shit but it’s on top of the shit I already felt from the break up so it’s extra shit. We were only together 9 months but I feel so lost now, makes me realise how little I had going on in my life before we got together.

I'm feeling down, having a whole mix of emotions, I cant stand it, I'm off work for another 2 weeks, I need to get back into a routine.

Yes def try and get into a routine, or find something to do to treat yourself! Do you craft at all? I knit and I couldn’t face it at first but I’m getting back into it now.

Watching Endgame, bittersweet. He couldn’t watch it at the cinema whereas I saw it twice so I was SO excited for us to watch it together, and now I’m watching it alone and don’t even know if he’s seen it yet. But I refuse to not watch it and let it be spoiled for me!