Break up support thread 2

[Jonsnowsghost]

Carrying on the supportive previous thread that ran out of space!
@herbsmokedchicken definitely that, although I wouldn't as I'm not a cheat....

I'll confess, I have relapsed on the stalking, not him but his friend, who had photos of him on his feed, hope tomorrow is a better day.

In this day and age it’s way too easy to stalk! Don’t beat yourself up for a little slip.

I’ve only done the last seen check on WhatsApp three times today! Progress! And lost count of my no crying days, I think tomorrow or Wednesday will be a week since I last sobbed.

Just wondering what the hell I did with my time before we met.. I have nothing really to reconnect with.. Aarrgh it's so horrible to realise I have no interests, my life was all about him.
The fact he hasn't done anything "wrong" and I still love him and he loves me makes it so much worse too. I feel guilty I can't handle his severe MH disorder but it was killing me with stress... But now the stress of a breakup is awful as well.. Why is life so bleeding hard. So fed up.

Yeah I’m the same, we spent all our weekends together and now I’m like, what do I do?

It's like when the kids were tiny and I used to count the hours till bedtime! I need a passion.. I can't knit though!

I cant knit either :)

I'm a keen gamer and we used to game together a lot, but I cant bring myself to do that either at the moment. I feel a right miserable cow atm.

I actually loom knit cos I can’t needle knit and it’s piss easy if you want to give it a go!

Yeah it’s hard when it’s stuff you used to do together, like half of me is enjoying endgame half of me is imagining A’s reactions if we were watching it together don’t push yourself, it’ll come in time and you’ll get into it again!

I've been knitting!
I had a dream about him last night and woke up feeling really distressed :( I hate this, inhate how he's made me feel like this and he doesnt have a care in the world about it. How lonely and unwanted he's made me feel. And he's swanning off happy as Larry without so much as one though about me. Feel so miserable.

Ah the dreams are horrible aren’t they? Sometimes they can linger all day! I had one last night but luckily not a distressing one although I know he was ignoring me at one point and I was sad. Also I had four doughnut and only gave him one, when he asked why I was like that’s what you get when you dump me

Good morning

I'm getting out the house today, or I can see myself going back to wallowing, which I'm determined I'm not going to do. Reality has really kicked in, I keep thinking wow he really did do this to me, what a bastard, then I go angry, and then sad, it's like a vicious circle, but I need to break the circle.

Good idea to get out and find something to do, anything in mind?

He wasn’t the first thing I thought of today, I was awake a good four minutes before I remembered. Progress!

Morning all, sad to see yesterday was a pretty bad day for most of you. Same for me tbh, most of the day was fine but once DS was in bed I decided to try and catch up on my scrapbook.

I'm not spiteful enough to cut ex out of it until he actually sodded off and I thought I was okay - no feelings when putting the pictures in or writing about the plans we had for the future...it was only when I finished the last page of photos of him that I felt a massive sense of loss and the tears started.

I haven't got to the bit where he actually left yet so that will be gutwrenching too. Still can't get my head around how we spent six years together and he still showed that he had no desire to fight for us. I fought for him so bad in the past but I'm tired of putting in all the effort to keep us together. If he doesn't want to stay then I'm done trying to make things better so he will stay.

DS made it to 6am before he woke up screaming today so he's making progress. Ex Still hasn't messaged about seeing him during the week so I guess that will be my fault too.

It's my birthday on Saturday. We were supposed to be going on a family trip to the zoo. I'm still taking DS but instead of my ex, my mum and brother are coming. It'll be nice but it's just not the same.

Sorry for the essay, not feeling good recently

Oh wow that must have been hard! Just seeing pictures on my insta makes me upset, never mind making a scrapbook! And your poor DS bless him

Got the back to work fear after having last Friday afternoon off, anyone else get that when they’ve been off work? Like a massive fuck up will have been discovered in my absence. My job isn’t important enough for me to massively fuck up and I was only gone an afternoon! But not helping my head.

That sounds so hard with the scrapbook. I've still managed to not look at exes social media which is good.
Just feel so shit today, utterly worthless, unwanted. And he's the one that's made me feel like this. It's so unfair that he gets to be happy. As much as I try not to think about it it's definitely true as I know how he was when we got together. How could he throw away a year a half for someone he met in one day. I can't get my head round it. 10 weeks ago today it all fell down around me and I haven't been able to drag myself out of the pit of despair since.
I've contacted a councillor as I can't deal with it anymore and my friends are basically saying to get over it now.

@Jonsnowsghost I'm glad you're seeking help - don't listen to your 'friends' everyone handles grief differently. You can't be expected to 'get over it' in a timeframe someone else deems acceptable

4 weeks. I wish I didn't miss him so much. He's probably not even thought of me.

Yes that’s definitely good about the counsellor jonsnow. I haven’t been venting to my friends coz can tell they are kind of over it but I know my sister had the same kind of reaction from friends when our dad died! When it’s not happening to you, it’s very easy to think people should just be over it but that’s not the case.

I’m feeling quite low today but not sure how much is the break up and how much is just general end of long weekend / end of summer blues. I’m at a weird kind of stage where I’m not thinking about him as much as the actual situation but then randomly I’ll suddenly imagine being in his arms and I’ll miss him so much.

Ahhhhhh it’s just hit me again. Could curl up and cry. I let myself think about him instead of letting him be an abstract thought.

I've had two friends call me this morning and I bawled my eyes out at one when she suggested I meet twat for a coffee. I can't imagine talking to him ever after the way he spoke to me on the phone on Saturday. It was like he hated me and I don't know why. Feeling drained now, DS is napping and I'm tempted to follow his lead.

Hope you all are having better days

Still thinking about him constantly here :( I've been reading the chump lady website and it's been helping. Waiting for the counsellor to get back to me still

I've just in from 4 hours of swimming, but now I'm back to feeling meh. I bumbed in one of our friends earlier, who said ex has gone off radar, not sure why or what that is supposed to mean, or if that was one truth that he did tell me and that's hes focusing on himself, who knows, but I'm struggling, it's the absent thing for me I think.

Still editing my massive paragraph

So sorry you're feeling crap. I'm feeling okay then it hits me and I'm tearing up again! Too hot and bothered for this

Hi all. I'm really glad I found this thread ( well not glad so many people are suffering but at least I'm not the only one!)
Back to work and suddenly what I can only describe as terror came over me, followed by the most banging headache ever. Went home to bed. I feel like I am going crazy. Stupid thing is I've had break ups prior, but somehow my emotional resilience has gone. It's not like we were married or had kids... But it just seems worse than any I've had. My minds all over..
And the "get over it brigade" I'd like to slap them. If only it were that easy, let's all just turn off our feelings shall we.. 😕