Break up support thread 2

[Jonsnowsghost]

Carrying on the supportive previous thread that ran out of space!
@herbsmokedchicken definitely that, although I wouldn't as I'm not a cheat....

Ah I know what you mean, I want to either get over it or for him to come back! Except like we’ve said previously I know if he did come back it probably wouldn’t work coz one or both of us would be so worried about it going wrong again that we’d end up fucking it up. I want this to have never happened!

I’m actually feeling ok in that I haven’t had a proper cry for three days now so I guess I could be said to be getting better but I’m still thinking about it constantly, always going round and round in the back of my mind no matter what else I’m doing or thinking about at the time.

tinsel I’m not so bad at the moment but was so anxious last week, nearly had a panic attack a couple of times! And I keep getting an anxiety lump in my throat, got it right now.

Oh and I had a dream about this thread! Can’t remember what happened in it now but I know this thread, or the posters on this thread, featured in some weird dream way.

WhatsApp last seen: 00.43. Unlike him. Was he awake thinking about me and the terrible mistake he made? (Unlikely)

I am hoping he is just on there to see if I’m on there which is what he did last year. But it was happn so I don’t know, although you can put your area in your settings for that. I have hidden him so he won’t see me. It said he was active a few hours before so he wouldn’t have seen my profile. Which is why I felt like texting him to say are you fucking kidding me? 3 days on? I only went on there to try and see what I’m up against. I naively thought there would be NO chance that he was on there because of how it ended with him. He said he needed to sort himself out (whilst sobbing) on the phone to me. He has got commitment issues I’m sure Of it but then maybe he hasn’t? Maybe he just was trying to let me down gently so he could find someone else. I don’t really know how to find strength for today. I can’t believe it and it was the worst feeling seeing him. Like my body did a full reaction to it physically, so heart wrenching. I am too embarrassed to even tell my friends I saw him on there. Need this to get better soon, I feel ill with it. Have re blocked him this morning but need to build up to deleting him again. In fact will just do it now. I can’t be with him even if he changes his mind because I can’t go through these last few days ever again.

Hope everyone else doing better than me today!

Morning all, hope you all have better days today. I saw a post about Christmas and yes, I've had a massive meltdown because of it. It was supposed to be our first Christmas in our new flat and we had all these plans about how to spend our time. He's ruined all of that and now he'll be taking DS away on one of those very special days...

I have to drop DS at my mum's today so ex can see him before he takes him away tomorrow and I am dreading it. It'll be the first time I've been completely on my own since he walked out...the next couple of days are going to be shit

Hi Advice I'm not actively grieving a lost relationship, but have so been there! I empathise with all on here as I've felt all the emotions.

It's actually good you found him on Tinder, as you now know he's actively looking for a new woman.

I had a 'hidden' profile and saw my ex on POF a day after we split up. (Had an inkling he'd be there) It helped me immensely - got more angry than sad.

I also know the pull of repetitive SM stalking - even though we know it doesn't help the healing, rather like repeatedly picking at a scab.

I feel sick and angry, I think reality is kicking in, in my head I keep thinking how fucking dare he do this. I really thought I was making small progress, when I sent the closure email the other day, I moved a step up the the mountain, but I'm so worried I'm going to start taking 2 steps backwards today.

How is everyone else?

Well I sent a happy birthday text, no response as expected (he's most probably away with her so i wouldn't have expected a reply) just feeling kind of sad and empty today as it's the first day since the split we had concrete plans, whilst I'm still going it's not quite the same :(. Miss him a hell of a lot, maybe they will fall out whilst they're away ha ha :)

Also driving myself crazy wondering where they are and what they are doing

Hi everyone I’m new in this thread as I got dumped just yesterday. I feel the same as you all in losing my best friend who I could speak to about anything and now he’s gone.

He said he wants to stay friends but has blocked me from any contact.
I’m not sure how to cope

Hi @Bluebird99 I'm so sorry you are here to.

We can all relate to how you are feeling, if you need to rant, slag him off, cry, ramble, this is the place to do it. We are all here to support each other through this shit time.

Hi bluebird, come and rant or cry to us, we're all in the same boat :) there's a thread one somewhere if you want to read through that, it filled up with all our lamenting!

Thank you both. I feel a bit numb at the moment, kind of hoping he’s going to text and apologise for making the wrong decision or miss speaking and get back in touch.
It was so out of the blue!

One thing that kind of makes me feel better and worse at the same time is that he’s not wanting anyone else, there’s no third party involved, he just wants to be alone and focus on himself. I’m glad there’s no other woman but at the same time it feels like I must offer nothing if he’d rather be alone than with me?!

There’s a bit of local drama here and he commented on my friend’s status about it so I posted a gif of a film we watched together that fits in with his comment - subtle reminder of happier times together

Oh bluebird mine is so similar! Took me by surprise and no other woman. When the shock wears off you might realise there were more signs than you thought

Oh herb you're just as lame as me, I do things like that, in future we will look back and laugh at how silly it all is. I feel like a ten year old!

Jon ah that's crap, sorry he ignored you. It shows you to be the bigger person though so in a way, it's good. What was the tone of your text like?

Bluebird same boat as all of us miserable lot here, we can all laugh at each other and feel each other's pain.

I am bloody well sad. In my mind I'm just going to work on myself because if he comes back, great, and if not, I'll be better off anyway. Apparently he's changed his Tinder profile loads though so shows me he's not having much luck

tinsel I know it’s so tragic! I was the same before we got together and I did lots of pointed fb memes and stuff that he absolutely did not get!

I agree with you, I’m going to focus on myself and if he comes back well maybe I wouldn’t even be interested anymore! But yeah still hacking sad

*hecking

Well, because I'm not the most sensible person, it was a photo of a crusing with Jane McDonald CD that I wrote "happy birthday! I would have got you this" across - it's a joke because we secretly loved watching that show because of how hilarious the songs were, hence not expecting a reply because it was a photo! But I hope it made him smile. Back to NC and posting loads of photos from the festival later

Even tho we are supposedly on good terms I took a lot of pleasure in telling A what I would have gotten him for his birthday, he was like oh man those were good gifts

I bet he would have felt guilty that's why he's not replied!! Yes, go and live your best life

The last time we were face to face after we broke up I told him I was going to ask him to move in on his birthday! So yeah maybe he is feeling guilty....or just super sad he didn't get a jane McDonald cd 😅

Just thinking as it only and my dad, I book to go out Christmas Day!

jonsnow I would have been gutted to miss out on a Jane McDonald cd! To be fair to him (I don’t want to be fair to him but let’s give it a go) he might have no idea what to say and then if he leaves it too long it might be too late. Perhaps.

It’s sad to know all your in-jokes are gone isn’t it! If I get a new man and randomly shriek “I’m CONFY!” he’s going to be like, what the fuck? But I guess we will make new in-jokes.

Would love to share this on my FB but even he is not that oblivious so you guys can have it