Break up support thread 2

[Jonsnowsghost]

Carrying on the supportive previous thread that ran out of space!
@herbsmokedchicken definitely that, although I wouldn't as I'm not a cheat....

I’m sorry for my incredibly low posts... but I’m struggling guys. I really am. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have no hope left and my sadness is overwhelming.

Don’t apologise strawberry we all get it. Sometimes I just don’t know how I’m supposed to move on when it’s all I can think about. Cliché I know but is there any activity you can do to help occupy yourself? I knit altho when I was at my worst I couldn’t face it I have to say

Got really panicky earlier cos I thought, what if the missed call wasn’t because of a water accident or cos he was looking at the chat and pressed by mistake, what if he pressed it by mistake when he was trying to delete the chat? Which he’d be perfectly within his rights to do but the thought just freaked me out, our whole relationship is played out in our WhatsApp. I actually downloaded it for that reason so I’d always have it. But then I’m a hoarder and he’s not and that is his way.

I don’t even know if that’s the reason but it freaked me out!

My point being, we are not necessarily at our most logical or calm at the moment, we just need to feel what we feel and we will come out the other side. Eventually...

@herbsmokedchicken he must have been reading your chats. I'd take it as he may contact you again...you've both communicated now so that makes it easier for him to make contact again. How are you feeling this afternoon?

@Jonsnowsghost I am sure a time will come when you could be friends. I am optimistic though that you may meet someone else before then and then itll be your choice not to be friends

That's hard to think when all I want now is him! I don't think I'll find anyone like him again :(

puffin tbh I’m trying not to even entertain that thought! He may well have been reading the chat and miss me even but that doesn’t mean he will want me back, and if I let myself go down that road it’ll hurt so much if it doesn’t happen - I do sometimes have daydreams about him saying he wants me to take him back but that’s all just out my own head, I don’t want to start reading into things if that makes any sense? I don’t want to open myself to even more hurt. I know if he came back I’d take him back so all I can do is see what happens. Tbh his reply was verging on brusque but really don’t want to sit and analyse everything, I’ve been doing that for weeks and doesn’t help. I kind of do need to contact him now the nights are getting colder as I want my blanket back...I don’t desperately need it as I have others but, as pathetic as it sounds, I don’t want him to use it. I worked hard on that blanket, before I ever even met him, and he lost homemade blanket privileges when he dumped me.

Currently feeling ok-ish but like I say I can feel the crying session brewing! I’ll be alone in about half an hour so I’ve pencilled it in 😂

jonsnow I know what you mean, I try and imagine moving on but all I want is him. I mean on paper he’s not even that special, he’s a fairly generic nerd but he was my generic nerd.

Mine is such a long horrible saga and all I can do is blame myself. I pushed him away with my questions and insecurities. I didn’t ever post a picture of us together and he thought it was because I wasn’t wanting to be seen with him... it was the total opposite... I didn’t want to jinx it. Oh I’m so stupid and wish I could turn back time but I can’t. He’s out living his best life and I’m here barely able to function ... I don’t know what to think anymore...

Herb, my gut is he was reading your messages or looking to see your online status and was busted! Keep the faith... I think you’ll hear something... his mind is ticking... x

@herbsmokedchicken I understand what you mean, I tried to stop daydreaming and thinking about my ex as soon as he broke the news that he had chosen to be with someone else. It is too painful to get your hopes up. So agree it's probably best to assume that he wont be trying to come back. I hope for the best for you.

@Jonsnowsghost I know what you mean, I feel bereft too but I've been heartbroken before and then loved again someone else, I try to remind myself of this but I also feel like I wont meet someone I loved like him

I went on a date today and the guy was odd, I dont think I'm ready to start again yet.

Yeah I’m on the apps but they are all as dire on there as they were this time last year! And a few familiar faces which is depressing.

Had my sob but didn’t last as long as I was expecting, which I hope is good! Hungry but cba to cook.

Bet we’d have gone somewhere nice for our 11 month seeing as it’s a Friday fuck I miss our weekends.

I’m sorry herb... I didn’t mean to give you false hope... your way of thinking is probably for the best that way you won’t be disappointed. Oh I wish we weren’t all on this journey together... I really do x

Yeah strawberry it’s nice to have people to talk with who are going through it right now but I also hate that we are all going through this!

Me too. There’s nothing anyone can say to make it better tho... my mum came round and said I need to snap out of it... she just doesn’t get it. I had a little bit of happiness and some f up there thought... nah.. can’t have that! She doesn’t deserve it!! My kids and mum think that I should be happy and content with the little I have... why should I want or expect more?? I’ve said it before but I wish I’d never met him because it wasn’t worth this pain...

My mum has been surprisingly patient! She’s normally a “snap out of it” person - she’s a lovely woman but she doesn’t dwell on stuff and finds it a bit baffling that other people do. But she’s been really supportive. I know what you mean about having the little bit of happiness snatched away - yes I have other things in my life that bring me happiness and I’m grateful for them but it’s not the same as being in a relationship.

Sometimes I wish I hadn’t met him! There are a few little things I can pinpoint that would have led to us not meeting / not getting together (obviously you can say that about any situation) and I used to think it was destiny that we had gotten together despite that. Ultimately tho I just can’t bring myself to regret our time together even if it did lead to this pain. But I so wish it hadn’t come to this.

How’s everyone’s Friday going? After my initial sob I’m doing surprisingly ok (for now) just knitting, catching up on some vlogs.

DS is slowly draining my will to live. He went to bed at 8 and after initially falling asleep pretty quickly he's been up since about 9.30 sobbing and screaming and Nothing I do can bring him any comfort. It's soul destroying to sit here and listen to him cry knowing I've exhausted all means of trying to help, none of which have worked.

Twat saw him for all of 50 minutes today cuz he 'forgot' he arranged to come at 11. Rocked up at 12 and DS has been a royal pain in the arse since. He may not understand but he knows something's different.

Nursing pink gin and lemonade while trying not to cry myself. It's ridiculous

Oh no that sounds awful, your poor DS, must be so hard for you both.

Sometimes I wish I hadn’t met him!
I watched "sliding doors " this evening and thought exact same thing...

Today I’ve actually been not too bad, had a couple of brief crying sessions this evening but on the whole, really not been too bad. But every now and again something will make me think of him and I will literally feel the smile slide off my face and the happiness leach out of me. Comes back eventually tho. But maybe it’s progress?

Morning,
Woken up in tears this morning. Devastated that this time last week we were both laying in bed together. Cuddling watching tele.
Why is this so difficult? How is he carrying on like nothing has happened? And why won’t he make things final and sort out everything else like the dog and finances?
I am really struggling this morning. I miss him so much!

Hammers it's so hard isnt it. I still wake up at the weekends missing him being next to me :( and worse knowing where he'll be instead... life sucks

@Jonsnowsghost - It really does suck! I feel like I am suffocating in a house full of memories. I don’t want to wake up startled he isn’t there and crying.
To make things worse he won’t even finalise anything financially, collect his Mum’s dog. Pay money for the kids. Nothing! Our Sky and WiFi are in his name, he hasn’t paid the bills. I can’t do anything because they are his, and I can’t sort my own out either. I feel stuck in every aspect!
Nothing seems to be getting easier, only harder! Five years of marriage and he walks out with no explanation!

He sounds awful :( I think I'm fine then it'll all just hit me again, what he did and how he must be soooooo much happier now and spending all his time with her. Horrible :(

Aww that’s awful. It’s heartbreaking that whilst we are so down and struggling they just carry on as normal. Like we never existed!

Sorry not been active, trying to ignore it but failing. Also busy with my new job! Think he's speaking to someone else. 4 days ago he said he still loved me.

I added him to a shared note the other day to show him a big rant I did about him and forgot to take him off after he'd read it. I then edited it saying I'd like to catch up and he said he wants to meet when he's back in the area?! (Away with work) so confused. I didn't reply.

I just keep thinking if I was the new girl and found out all this, I'd be out of there like a shot. He can enjoy it whilst he lasts I guess I don't like putting other women down so I won't be too mean but all I can say is, both inside and out (mutual friend) she is not all that great. He's being desperate atm.

Ah well fuck him. Stupid idiot. The more stuff he does like this, the harder it gets for me to ever take him back in future if he were to ask, so carry on mate.

I'll catch up with everybody's posts later on