Break up support thread 2

[Jonsnowsghost]

Carrying on the supportive previous thread that ran out of space!
@herbsmokedchicken definitely that, although I wouldn't as I'm not a cheat....

Oh bebe that sounds hard. You’re miserable tho you’ve said it yourself - are you sure this is what you want? I get it, if A took me back I know I would, but that doesn’t mean it would be the right thing to do.

Wrong phrase, if A asked me to take him back, not if he took me back!

puffin my confidence is in the gutter! Half the time men don’t even seem to see me as female, just some genderless blob, and I worry he’s the only mug to find me attractive

Oh, I've found my people! Big hugs to you all, it's such a rotten time but we will all be okay

It'll be a week tomorrow since we broke up. It was all so sudden, my mind is still reeling. I know it's for the best, it was all going a bit wrong and the bad times were creeping up in frequency but it just hurts to know that I would have stayed and fought like hell but he just decided he was done.

I'm all over the place, one minute I'm feeling strong (listening to Taylor Swift's 'Shake It Off' makes me remember I'll be okay) then the next I look at my bed, or the dining table, or the couch and have a flashback to a happy time and my heart feels so heavy in my chest it's like a big jagged rock is sitting in there. I still haven't filled the drawer that he kept his things in and every time I open it by accident, I'm overwhelmed with grief.

I've deleted his number, deleted him from Facebook, deleted every picture of him and and binned anything he left behind so it's like he was never around. I know in the long run that will help me move on as I can't turn to any of those things when I'm wallowing but now it's so painful because my memories of him are still so strong so I know he was there. It's like he's left a big empty hole in my life. And I just feel like what the hell am I going to do with all the love I still have for him?

I sound like a big saddo, I hate to be this way.

@Bebe03 That's so hard. When you still love them and feel sad you'd do anything to make it all okay but the problems won't have disappeared. Maybe if he really does try it could work.

I'd have a long hard think to yourself and decide what's best for you, you can always change your mind if you decide getting back together isn't what's right for you.

I know if my ex tried to come back to me I wouldn't have the strength to say no, that's why I cut all avenues of contact, just in case. But every situation is different. Be gentle with yourself.

Its friday night, I'm having a wobble, ive let him creep back into my thoughts. I think it's because on the 7th of every month we would have a 'mini' anniversary day/night (we met on the 7th), so now that is on the horizon......last month on the 7th he got called into 'work' - he was actually on a date with her!!!! Wanker

I needed to rant :)

Thanks @herbsmokedchicken, we've had a huge argument now as I've embarrassingly been unable to give him space. I guess it shows what a mess it all is really and that he probably just doesn't want any of this anyway.

What a fool I've been!! I wish I could have never have met him.

Oh mumcomehere I think this is always a good place to rant, these men have a lot to answer for!

Evening all! Half checking in! Have had friends come to stay since Thursday so have been super busy ❤ hope you're all doing okay. I'll catch up properly tomorrow evening once my friends have left

@herbsmokedchicken so sorry you feel rubbish too, I know you are a wonderful person and any man would be lucky to have you. Shame we have to get such knocks as this before hopefully we move onto better things...

Ahhh thanks puffin! It’s hard, I was single for so long but ex seemed worth waiting for, it’s hard to believe this has happened

Still missing waking up next to him at the weekends :( I can't believe it's nearly been 3 months since I've seen him. I think I'm doing better then it'll hit me all again. Had a cry again last night which I haven't done for a while. Finally getting to see a counsellor next week though so hopefully that will help.
I can't believe he's gone, hes with someone else, and I wasnt worth even attempting to fix the relationship with. He was so awful and yet I miss him so much.

DS has gone with twat again today. Twat is taking him to the pick your own farm that I took him to with my brother at the beginning of August. Twat was welcome to come with then but chose not to...he never wanted to come anywhere with us. Think he checked out of our relationship a long time ago. Feeling pretty worthless today

I know it’s crazy eh jonsnow I haven’t seen mine in 6 weeks and haven’t spoken to him in 5! It’s horrible! Good that you’ve finally been able to pin down a counsellor tho

Oh missyeti obvs my situation is not the same as yours but I’ve also had that thing of looking back and in hindsight seeing the signs.

Couldn’t sleep until gone 4! No real plans today tho so not a huge deal, just need to do some housework in a bit. Hate being without him tho.

Something weird has happened, got chatting to a bloke in the shop, we had a giggle and plenty of smiling....after we went down different aisles....he caught back up with, said sorry if this is out of the ordinary and I've never done this before, but here is my card, give me a shout if you fancy going for a drink sometime.....

Do I?

Like something out of a film! Could be interesting. You’ve got his details so could do a background check...

How’s everyone feeling today? I’m not quite as bad as I’ve been this week but still feeling pretty low. Really missing him. Tried to chat to some guys on tinder but they are just not him. I know I’ll get there but I hate this.

@Mumcomehere eeeeeer YES! Of course you do!! That's amazing!!

Still missing him, my sister has been here and we've been doing a few things but every so often my mind wanders back to him and wondering what he is doing :( I really do miss him loads, i wish i could tell him but he doesnt care.

Yeah sucks! I don’t think mine misses me at all really, maybe the odd moment but not like I miss him.

Ah sorry it's a rubbish evening of missing them @Jonsnowsghost and @herbsmokedchicken and everyone else. I think weekends can be hardest, especially if you work during the week which can be a great distraction from the heartbreak.

I'm also really missing him. I haven't seen him for nearly a month and he hasn't messaged for nearly a week. I'm NC but I still want to hear from him! I know theres no point me messaging him, he ended it so he needs to miss me and come to me, it's just so hard . Going from smitten in love to heartbroken is so crap.

Yes it’s horrible and weekends are hard! 8 weeks ago was, unbeknownst to me at the time (and tbf he hadn’t made up his mind yet either) our last Saturday night together. I’m a bit weird for counting and tracking things so think the even number of it is making it hit harder for some reason! I’m feeling a bit better now but was a wreck before. Like you say it’s so hard to go from being in love to heartbroken. In hindsight I had realised something had changed in the last few weeks but it was only the last week that I knew something was wrong, and I still wasn’t entirely sure he was going to break up with me so was still a shock. Even now, it hasn’t fully sunk in. He was just so perfect - I don’t mean as a person cos of course he’s not, but he was perfect for me. I’m still just fucking gutted.

Twat was aggressive towards my mum during drop off yesterday. Apparently we've been sending him abusive messages and he's the one who's still kind and caring...this is the same twat who asked my mum if I was ready to talk to him and proceeded to message me even after he was told no.

It's his way or no way which is exactly how his own dad is. He's always said he didn't want to be anything like his dad and yet he's turned into a carbon copy. I hope DS is more compassionate than his father's side 😣😣

Did something really stupid

Organised event for group went great
Went out after with a load of group and ex I think went and got someone else's number lol

And then I after going home - asked for her back and seen message totally ignored me

Feel bloody stupid

nissyeti what an asshole! “Like father like son” can be so true. My friend’s dad was a terrible husband, always cheating and gaslighting. He didn’t stop until he was in his 60s and settled down. His son is now acting the same way and he’s absolutely gutted, he’d always hoped his son would be a better person than him. It’s good that you recognise it tho! I’m sure your DS will turn out lovely 😊

Oh greys poor you, hugs

@herbsmokedchicken that's so true, you just reminded me how I felt, the last couple of weeks he was different and I sensed a change. He also said things like 'I'll always think of you when I hear this song' which with hindsight I know was him knowing he was going to start a new life with her.

I wonder what makes them choose? I wonder if they regret their decisions? Probably when they get bumps in their new relationships they may...but not worth wasting headspace thinking about I suppose ☹