Break up support thread 2

[Jonsnowsghost]

Carrying on the supportive previous thread that ran out of space!
@herbsmokedchicken definitely that, although I wouldn't as I'm not a cheat....

I'm now consoling myself with the thought that he was on holiday with her and still watched my instagram stories within an hour of me posting 🤷🏻‍♀️ and that he can't use his favourite emoji when he texts her as it only works on the brand of phone he (and I) has (I saw hers was different in original photos) makes me feel slightly better

It’s the little things isn’t it jonsnow!

Hi all- can I join this heartbreak thread, I know he wasn’t right but man it feels shit.

Sorry to all who feel the same, it’s bloody awful isn’t it x

Had a great first day at work, got in my car and automatically went to text him. I cried so much. Two days to go to my birthday and we'll see if he texts or not. I have so much I want to say.

Thanks for the well wishes everyone!

Ah bittersweet then tinsel! Glad your first day went well though! I’ve struggled today as well, such a cliché to say it’s a rollercoaster but it really is!

Fucking hell!

Twat messaged my mum asking if I was ready to talk to him yet. She tells him no and he fucking does it anyway. I told him where to shove it and the more he pushes me the longer it will be until I want to talk to him.

Wish I could go full NC but can't cuz of DS. LADIES IF YOU CAN GO NC DO IT. I was making such good progress and now I just feel angry again.

Sorry for the sweary post

Ridiculous, he clearly has no respect for boundaries! What a twat!

Working on a blanket that I had originally started to keep as a project at his house (his idea). A couple of months ago i bought a box from b&q to keep it all in. And then when he packed up all my stuff it found it way back here. Forced myself to work on it because 1. Trying not to avoid stuff that hurts and 2. Planning to donate it to charity once it’s done. But hard not to look down and remember working on it at his house and remember all the good times.

I just can’t get my head around it, still. We were so happy, I was the person he had been waiting for, everyone said how much happier he seemed once we got together. Why did he fall out of love with me? I bet he’s just fine now. Back to his life pre-herb.

Ugh can’t sleep, keep crying. Remembering how good it used to be. When we first got together he said he’d never felt so at peace and truly at ease with anyone as he did with me. Then towards the end he didn’t even enjoy spending time with me that much. Not for whole weekends at least. I know it’s not unique, people fall out of love, and I know first loves are usually just like this but still so hard to get my head around. That he could be so in love with me, and then not.

This morning I'm so low, thinking about how he would rather have an easy life and go off with her rather than put the effort in to save our relationship. Like I'm not worth putting the effort in. A year and a half and he didnt want to even try.
How is everyone else doing?

This came up on my fb feed which I thought was good.

Was toying with calling in sick but just can’t bring myself to do it without there being anything physically wrong with me

But yeah not currently feeling as bad as I did yesterday. I’m sorry you’re feeling so low we will get through this but it’s horrible

So after yesterday's debacle I had a really shit night's sleep and am not ready for today... Feel like I have actually taken a step back when I was adamant I wouldn't. Twat is blocked on my phone now so he has no choice but to go through my mum.

Jonsnow I feel you. Twat didn't even try to salvage our relationship and we'd neen together 6 years, 2 months and 4 days. Men just don't seem to have the capacity to understand that relationships take work. Sometimes they aren't smooth sailing and need some effort to keep going. Swanning off into another relationship (not that twat has done this as far as I know) isn't going to stop the same issues from arising.

I do hope if twat gets into another LTR he ends up feeling the exact same way he did with me. Maybe then he'll realise what he should have done instead of walking away from me and our son

I was wrong, feel shite.

With mine, we were only together 9 months and logically I can see that it was a fairly typical “first love”, we got very swept up in it all but probably just ran its course, I mean maybe if he hadn’t fallen out of love with me, maybe I would have done the falling out of love. But because I was still so happy and in love, I am finding this so, so hard to deal with. I really thought we were forever. And knowing I’m a walking cliché isn’t helping lol

Oh wait I had another point to make based on what you are saying about working on it. Yeah so logically I can see it is prob a first love that ran its course but I worry so much that he overreacted and mistook the initial spark fading for love going away.
Oh god I just saw him he hadn’t seen me so I turned my head don’t know if he saw me I’m breathing so hard

Just popping on to say I am on a good phase of the break up. No longer have painful thoughts or memories. I think a corner has been turned. Having said that I have good and bad days just there are less bad ones now. Wishing the same for all of you

Men just don't seem to have the capacity to understand that relationships take work. Sometimes they aren't smooth sailing and need some effort to keep going. Swanning off into another relationship (not that twat has done this as far as I know) isn't going to stop the same issues from arising.

Missyeti I completely agree with this. They need effort and communication from both sides and i hope that the same issues arise with this new relationship, which they probably will as he doesnt communicate or put effort in!
I think I was the second longest relationship he'd been in (same for me too) both of us having a previous relationship that lasted 4 years however he was younger than me when his long term relationship finished and when you're early twenties it's not as difficult to keep a relationship going as you have much less responsibilities and tend to have a more active social life! It's like he hasn't grown up enough to realise this, and realise that yes they take work, not all the time, but some effort is required.

Yeah like I say in all likelihood it was never going to last but it haunts me that it might have worked if he’d just out more effort in. Instead of just waiting for feelings to re-emerge. Cos it seems so bizarre to me that he still loves me in a way, still enjoys spending time with me (but not unlimited like before) and still fancies me but doesn’t “love” me? I just worry so much that he mistook our love settling into every day for it being gone. Even tho logically like I keep saying I know that’s probably not the case. Ugh I feel VILE! Hugs for everyone who is feeling shit today!

I know what you mean, we had just got past that honeymoon phase and I often think that he thought that "comfortable" phase we'd moved into, doing boring stuff like food shopping and chilling on the sofa (you know, like a normal couple, happens to everyone eventually...) was not what a relationship should be like. But it is! And if he wanted sparks and fireworks then he needed to put more of an effort in!

Extra sad too as we should have excitedly been getting ready for our first long holiday together (had done long weekends away) but now, although I am going away, it's not quite the same :(
And I bet he'll end up going away for weeks with her now, I only couldn't because of pet care, they took some organising!

Yeah we had started to relax into that and I do wonder if that was why, or if it was simply that the initial infatuation wore off and there was no real love there to replace it. Either way I feel awful. And I know you shouldn’t “settle” but realistically, knowing both of us and how we fared so far, I’m just not convinced either of us are going to do any better! I mean maybe in a year I’ll remember this and think “wow can’t believe I thought we should settle” but I kind of feel like well we were both happy and still had a good time and ok he couldn’t be with me every second any more like he used to but that’s not unusual for couples, could he really not have had a happy enough life with me?

And that sucks about the holiday! We would be coming up to 11 months together and would have been on a Friday so bet we’d have done something together and instead I’ll be home alone. argh don’t you wish we could just fast forward to when we are ok?

I'm still lonely and still miss him.

Same :( just want to talk to him like I used to.