Break up support thread 2

[Jonsnowsghost]

Carrying on the supportive previous thread that ran out of space!
@herbsmokedchicken definitely that, although I wouldn't as I'm not a cheat....

Sorry will catch up tomorrow

Had a nice day out for my birthday and now I'm sat sobbing, it's awful

I don't want to sound dramatic and I'm sorry if this upsets anyone but.. I'm finding this heartbreak harder to get over and harder to deal with than when I was raped. It's awful but it's true

I just want to speak to him about so much and I can't.

I wish I had never met him because the happiness I had wasn’t worth this pain

See I'd take this 209 times over to be that happy again. This is what makes me think it's going to be so hard to get over it.

@universe please sort this out

Hello i'm really struggling to not send a message, text or call. Had stupid argument on the phone last Monday he said goodbye love you wil text later. I messaged him a bit later no response so text again saying sorry for the argument could we talk. He responded that i didn't get him he'd text when he was ready and needed some me time atm. Not the first time he's done this either. Left it alone. Text again a couple of times the last being that given he knows what it's like to be rejected and ignored please don't do this to me i just want him to atlk to me tell me what he feels etc. He replied good morning have a good day. I have nothing to say at this time. Just give me time plz. All i ask
I replied Ok if that's what you want i will leave you be. You to have a good day. Left it for three days then sent a message saying good morning and just sayig i was checking in to see how he was and that i didn't want him to think i didn't care as i do very much( previously he's said i just don't try when he goes all quiet) ended with saying i'm still here for him. Nothing no response he's read the message though. I'm in bits don't know what to think, do??? Do i leave it? I want so much to message him. If he wants to end it why doesn't he just say so? It's the not knowing that's doing me in. I'm so hurt struggling to not contact him. Add to the fact i also have the most awful flu atm so feeling completely shit. I've nto slept or eaten properly all week....i'm broken....sorry it's so long.

@Olikingcharles sorry you are suffering so much I think you need to really step back and give him time and space. Wait until he contacts you. I know that's really hard, but hes asked for that and if you keep contacting him every few days then you will push him away further.

He already knows how much you mean to him, I would take it as positive that he just wants space, if he knew he wanted to dump you he would probably have said more about it.

But giving him space hes able to miss you and then reach out to you.

PuffinSock
Thank you yes i know i need to step back and just leave him be. Ultimately if he doesn't contact me. I will have an answer.

My horrible thoughts this morning...what if she's not a rebound and is his "soulmate" and they stay together forever 😩 I dont think I could cope with that.

I think no contact does work, otherwise you just push them away.

@TinselAndKnickers I'm so sorry you've been abused so horribly! Without minimising what happened to you, it might be easier to get over because (I'm assuming here, please correct me if I'm wrong) there was no romantic feelings involved. Either way it was your choice to get into a relationship, it was not your choice to be assaulted. Please take care of yourself - you've been through a lot ❤

Thank you! I agree with that tbh but it's just so painful to go through.

NC does work I think, but we will see. I feel sick not knowing what he's thinking anymore. I came so close to texting him yesterday

tinsel I haven’t been through what you have been through so it’s not the same thing at all but I have found this harder to deal with than my dad passing. It’s a very specific type of grief and it’s just awful isn’t it? I’m glad you had a nice day tho even if the pain hit you again later.

Yes I hate not knowing what he’s thinking or what’s going on in his life. I hate not being in his life.

I'm really feeling shit today. Not hungover at all but feeling so sad I start my new job tomorrow, it's my birthday on Wed, can't talk to him. He doesn't want to talk to me or he would.

it’s so hard isn’t it? I just miss him so much. This time 7 weeks ago I was in his bed and I didn’t know it was going to be the last time.

Same, didnt know that this time 10(?) Weeks ago that I wouldn't see him again and he'd be with someone else instantly. It's so painful to think about

It's scary to think back to the last time you did something and not knowing it.

Before we parted ways, he kissed my head and told me he'd love me forever and pinky promised me we'd always be there for the big moments and things. I start my new job tomorrow and it's a big deal for me, I wonder if he's thought of me?

He's so stubborn that because he's said to me "I need space from you" even if he changes his mind, he'll never admit it to himself or me.

Sorry to be so selfish on this thread ladies, I just find it useful to vent. Posting on here and running away is like locking it in a box

No don’t worry about it tinsel, I’m the same, it’s been so helpful! Just hate it tho, I strongly suspect he is absolutely fine now, not missing me, not sad. And I’m still missing him so much. I just hate that this has happened.

It's like I'm getting worse as time goes on

Yeah I’ve felt like that sometimes, like I’ve gone back a bit. I wonder if it’s when it sinks in a bit more it kind of hits me again and sets me back? Cos I still don’t 100% believe it’s happened but prob believe it more than I did a few weeks ago. So it’s like I sort of have to start the grieving process again in a way. Maybe.

@TinselAndKnickers I hope your new job goes well! Getting on with life and positive moments like starting a new job can only help you get over him and make you more attractive to him I think

I am still hoping my one will see the light and come back asking to be with me, he made a mistake etc. But realistically I mustn't wait around and am preparing to start dating. Then if he does come back then he will have to earn his place in my life I'm also doing healthy eating etc. Realistically I know if hes now with someone else then it's likely to be weeks or months before he would realise if he made a mistake, so no waiting around if I can find someone more worthy.

Thank you! Puffin I agree, no waiting around. I think most of us on here still have a shred of hope and that's what kills us

Yup I still have a bit of hope! Even tho I know him well enough to know that he wouldn’t act on it even if he did regret it, which I doubt he does. But it’s just so hard to believe it’s really over.

I'm the stupid one really, I still have hope even though he left me for someone else! Hoping one day he will see the light....
This month he may think more of me as we were supposed to be going on holiday. This is why I'm in hiding on social media so he might get curious and wonder what I'm doing etc when we are supposed to be away (I am on hols but a few days after our original departure date).
It's ridiculous because he hurt me so so much, and the thought of her with him is like a pain every single day but I would still take him back!! One day I will look back and laugh but it's still so raw now, even 10 weeks on, I can't stop thinking about him.
My only thing that keeps me going is the thought of him watching my instagram stories within an hour whilst he was on holiday with her

Yes right now I’d still take mine back!

Bad day today! Not sure why but I’m feeling way more down and weepy. Altho am due on so could be that I guess. Flashbacking a lot more as well. Just ugh I want him back so much. Except I just want this to have never happened. I want us to have had a normal weekend. I want it to be how it used to be.

Hey ladies, I'm going to say it, I'm feeling a bit better! No doubt I'll be back to crying myself to sleep tonight, but atm I'm feeling strong :)

I've tried to not go to deep with the thinking today, which has helped.