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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Break up support thread 2

999 replies

Jonsnowsghost · 21/08/2019 21:16

Carrying on the supportive previous thread that ran out of space!
@herbsmokedchicken definitely that, although I wouldn't as I'm not a cheat....

OP posts:
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MissYeti · 30/08/2019 18:17

Twat has made it very easy to not feel sad about him leaving today. He arranged to spend the afternoon with DS. Turned up late, spent the whole afternoon on his phone and then said he wouldn't need to see him next week as he has him next Saturday. Just proves without a shadow of a doubt that DS is not a priority for him and I can't bring myself to miss a person that is so incredibly self centred that they could do that to their own child.

Will catch up with the threat after I've put DS to bed - just needed a little moan

MissYeti · 30/08/2019 18:18

Thread 😣 not threat!

herbsmokedchicken · 30/08/2019 19:04

missyeti what a twat! Feel so bad for your DS

Got really upset leaving work but feeling okish now, my takeaway was lovely tho and did put it on my story!

herbsmokedchicken · 30/08/2019 19:59

I want him back Sad

Original poster
Jonsnowsghost · 30/08/2019 20:27

What a twat Missyeti.
I've been reading up a little about rebound relationships (as I wasnt convinced that was what it was) but I'm now much more convinced that it is. There's a lot of points that from what I've seen resonate such as moving pretty quickly - I.e. going on a 5 day holiday after being together 8 weeks, meeting all his friends after 4 weeks plus unusual/increased social media use with her in it like the instagram stories stuff to prove a point that he's made the right decision etc. This makes me feel a little better as they don't tend to work out....
So I'm in hiding, no posting on social media and 100% no contact so he doesn't know what I'm doing and may have a chance to miss me. I regret the blip I had last week, as I feel it would have pushed him more to her however it's not the end of the world and I will stick to NC now. I read a bit about limerence too which resonates a lot with him...it's basically a limerence rebound relationship 😅
I can't count it as an affair as although he did cheat, they didn't know each other before the day.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jonsnowsghost · 30/08/2019 20:32

I also hope he remembers our silly rituals like now, its half past 8 and that's my cats treat time! Hopefully he'll think about it ha ha ha

OP posts:
herbsmokedchicken · 30/08/2019 21:10

Yes I do wonder if mine misses me! He is very, very emotionally immature and part of me wonders if maybe he just wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. Ugh I can’t help but think if we’d met later in life, we’d have made it. But we didn’t, so...

I fell so bad for you, but agree that just total silence is best!

Lunafeline · 30/08/2019 21:18

Hi can I join? Just had my heart broken last night. Spent all day fighting back the tears at work, and spent the rest of the day crying. Hope it doesn’t take me long to heal my heart

Pinkpercy · 30/08/2019 21:38

Hi Lunafeline (sorry I don’t know how to tag), sorry you’re here but welcome to the misery. Hopefully we will all be able to feel better and stronger soon.
This thread is great for feeling less alone and getting support

Mumcomehere · 30/08/2019 21:49

@Lunafeline course you can join, so sorry your here though. Let the tears fall. Were all here for support and to listen.

TinselAndKnickers · 30/08/2019 23:00

I saw him on someone's story tonight, just doing a favour for a friend. Oh my god I miss him!!!!!!!!!!!! Idiot Angry

The other day when crying, I was an idiot and even bloody asked the universe for help Grindriving along, speaking to myself in my car! Nutter.

herbsmokedchicken · 30/08/2019 23:48

Oh I’ve done that, just saying “I’ll do anything” which isn’t even true like I miss him but not enough to like, do a murder or something

TinselAndKnickers · 31/08/2019 00:05

Same Grin god it's pathetic. The friend who's story he was on, I saw the other week and I was the one who had to tell him "we're not together anymore" so I know they'll have spoken about me.

Not that I'm 10/10 or anything but he didn't look great on the story - very tired looking. I know it won't be to do with me tho Hmm still gorgeous!

I'm such a weirdo

herbsmokedchicken · 31/08/2019 00:22

We are all the same! And I bet they would have been exactly the same back in olden times if they’d had the technology! I think the fact that we are all doing it shows it’s normal. Yes ok prob not the healthiest but we are not proper stalking, and we will get over it.

Yes, we are weirdos tho...

TinselAndKnickers · 31/08/2019 01:08

I've got motion sickness (somehow??) so can't sleep! Want to talk to him so badlyyyyy hope he texts me soon

Mumcomehere · 31/08/2019 01:12

I cant sleep 🙄

TinselAndKnickers · 31/08/2019 01:17

It's awful! Let's play a game of "what pissed me off about them"

One is how they were really quite boring and inflexible with some things. Never wanted to stay out late or go for a drink!

herbsmokedchicken · 31/08/2019 01:40

Mine chewed like a cow chewing grass
Or what I think a cow chewing grass would sound like

He wouldn’t exfoliate his nose

That’s it really, we weren’t together long enough or living together for any other thing to emerge altho maybe I’ll think of more

herbsmokedchicken · 31/08/2019 01:45

Oh we would watch a tv episode of something and then he’d switch it off after like right that’s done with now and he wouldn’t ask if I wanted to watch another. Never bothered me enough to say anything but slightly inconsiderate. He is generally a very considerate person tho...damn this is hard. It’s not even looking back with rose tinted glasses, even when we were together I used to say how he never annoyed me. Like I say tho I’m sure stuff would have come up in time

TinselAndKnickers · 31/08/2019 01:46

I could write a list Grin I love him loads and whilst I'm not hoping he'll come back, I'd be open to it in future. Not that I have any say in the matter Hmm

Ugh can't stop rewatching that story of him. It's in a place where he does his hobby - and we've had sex there Blush

herbsmokedchicken · 31/08/2019 02:08

Yeah I mean ask us in a year and we might be like, “take back my ex? Haha you’re joking right?” But right now I’d so take him back. Certain that door is closed tho.

I’d tell you to stop watching that story but fairly sure you’d not listen...

TinselAndKnickers · 31/08/2019 02:12

I've stopped now. No point as you can't even see anything!

I'm so so desperate to talk to him. Just got so much to tell him and to know I've been less than 1m from him in the past two weeks has killed me.

I can't wait till he breaks NC (if he even does...) because I'm gonna act nice as pie and not even mention the breakup or past.

TinselAndKnickers · 31/08/2019 02:12

What did you have in your Chinese?!

herbsmokedchicken · 31/08/2019 02:18

I had duck fried rice, crispy honey chicken, crispy chicken slivers in chilli sauce, spare ribs, sweet and sour battered pork balls. Yeah my appetite has definitely come back...

herbsmokedchicken · 31/08/2019 02:19

Yeah it’s horrible when I think of stuff to tell him and then remember I can’t! Technically I can, we’re “friends” but I’m not ready to actually be his friend.