Break up support thread 2

[Jonsnowsghost]

Carrying on the supportive previous thread that ran out of space!
@herbsmokedchicken definitely that, although I wouldn't as I'm not a cheat....

It’s hard today again. I know he’s going out tonight and tomorrow night getting drunk with his mates. I have nothing planned for the whole weekend. No idea how I’m going to cope. All my friends either love quite far away or have kids and can’t just drop everything to be with me.
Any tips for getting through the first weekend would be gratefully received although no money as now supporting myself!

I felt pretty low during the day yesterday but didn’t feel too bad last night and not feeling too bad today, gone back to that sort of low level sadness. Also find I’m thinking of him slightly less - like I’m still thinking of him way more than I’m not thinking of him but there are moments when he’s not in my mind at all. So guess I’m getting there. Still miss him so much tho and def comes and goes.

Still up and down here, always feel worse in the morning and during the day but better by the evening. Low level sadness and missing him all round. Pleased to report I haven't checked his WhatsApp status since monday :) and have been avoiding the feed on instagram where it shows you what other people have liked so I don't see anything i dont want to again!
Doesn't stop me thinking about him, and her (wish I could stop as it just upsets me) but I think it'll be a long time before i can. It saddens me that so many of us are in this position. People can be such shits.

jonsnow I didn’t know about that feed! It’s actually really handy (not worried about seeing his stuff as he only likes car stuff on insta so it doesn’t mess up his algorithms) but I didn’t realise people could see stuff I had liked, I don’t like that bit...

@MixedEmotons he's using you because he knows you love him - you won't say no. I don't mean this in a nasty way even though It's going to sound it but you need to have more self respect than that. He's said how he feels, take it on face value and move on. Make sure you have a friend or family with you when he comes to get his things or go out. Don't put yourself in that position again

Twat asked to see DS today so I'll have a few hours this afternoon on my own. Determined to be productive instead of sitting twiddling my thumbs so the flat will probably be spotless by the time mum brings DS back.

I agree with feeling worse in the mornings. When I wake up I feel so numb and empty. The only reason I get out of bed is DS. I still don't eat very much. After a couple of mouthfuls I feel sick...bet he's not struggling like that - arsehole 😡

You're probably right. Feel so stupid. Everyone keeps saying there must be something there. It was very much my decision too so i don't hate him for it. I just thought it might remind him

Its how I accidentally see his photos 🙄 if someone comments on them and he likes the comment. So I've stopped looking at it!

Yes jonsnow in your case that’s a good idea! Mine is rarely on insta and like I say it’s all car stuff so I’m just going to use it to find other people to follow!

How are we all challenging ourselves this weekend? I’m getting a Chinese takeaway. Weird challenge I know, but - back in May, A and I tried a different takeaway and we loved it. It became “our” takeaway and I’ve not been able to face eating from there since even tho I love it and they do a few dishes that other takeaways here don’t do. So tonight, I am getting me a Chinese, I’m watching a film we were going to watch together that I still haven’t seen, and I’m getting on with my life.
I might cry into my fried rice but I’m gonna eat it.

The wave of tears have arrived, I must sound pathetic. I'm going out shortly and for the weekend I have no idea. I'm still not really eating, I feel I'm going backwards, the last 24 hours have been a real struggle.

It comes and goes mumcomehere sometimes I feel fine and other times I’m in bits.

Like Wednesday I really felt I’d gone backwards but today I’m feeling better even if not recovered and back to who I was before

I've mopped the tears up (although it wouldn't take a lot for them to fall again), I've showered, done my hair, put make up on, nice clothes and hitting the shops.

Herb - well done! Let us know what you order and enjoy it

I cried last night too - went for a two hour drive to clear my head. Miss him terribly but I know we will never get back together.

Oh well, I finally got the tex message he promised to send this morning. I asked him last Saturday if I’d hear from him again and he said yes, so that was my courtesy text this morning.

Hi, hows you? Was you back at work this week? I’m working all day so if I don’t reply till later that’s why.
I replied...
Hi, I’m ok, hope you’re fine too.
That was at 9.3am this morning. He’s been online since and no reply although I don’t expect to receive one.
Maybe I should have said more but if I did, I would have been tempted to just ramble, get no reply... call him crying... and the rollercoaster would be in full swing again.
Why oh why do we analyse every word they say to us? Why has life given me a little glimmer of happiness and then taken it away again? I’m so sad it’s unreal. Thanks for reading x

Is anyone there? I’m feeling pretty lost just now

I know how you feel about the glimpse of happiness - I’d been single for years and finally being in a relationship was amazing, I loved him and we had such a good time, was all as good as I thought it would be and then it got taken away after nine months, how is that fair?

I hear ya herb (sorry don’t know how to tag). I know it was all my fault and I pushed him away with my insecurities and paranoia. I’m so angry with myself it’s awful. Why oh why did I do it to myself? I self sabotage everything good in my life. It was like I met him and I actually asked myself how did I get so lucky? I believed I didn’t deserve him and now I’ve lost him. Tears won’t stop falling....

Was feeling ok then stupidly let my mind wander and imagine what we would normally do on a Friday...he’d pick me up, usually we’d go to shop, go back to his, he’d make me a cup of tea, we’d watch a film or a stand up show or something, at some point during all this we’d have sex, then we would go to sleep. Next day we would wake up at some point, sometimes we’d get out and do stuff but tbh usually we were really lazy, evening would be the same as Friday. Then at some point on Sunday he’d drop me home. Rinse and repeat next weekend. Looking back I wonder if the speed we got into a routine didn’t help contribute to him losing his feelings but it felt right and we were both happy with it. Just still can’t quite believe it’s never going to happen again. Even tho for various reasons we hadn’t actually had our normal weekend routine for like three weeks before we actually split.

4 weeks yesterday since we last had an actual conversation
5 weeks today since I last saw him in person
6 weeks on Sunday since we split

And I still can’t believe he’s not mine anymore

Herb our timeline is nearly identical!

6 weeks ago broke up, 5 weeks since I last saw him, 4 weeks on Wednesday since we last spoke.

I want to see him so badly - might knock on his door (I deffo will not)

Yes and then you started the original thread and I have said to people how well timed it was!

I still have the code for his house can you imagine if I let myself in?! Wouldn’t obviously but makes me laugh to imagine his face

I gotta get Chinese. I refuse to be beaten. Plus I’ve promised my mum I’d get it and she’s looking forward to it.

But it hurts!!!! I don’t want to sit at home having a takeaway I want to be having the takeaway at my boyfriends house with my boyfriend but don’t have one of those anymore