Break up support thread 2

[Jonsnowsghost]

Carrying on the supportive previous thread that ran out of space!
@herbsmokedchicken definitely that, although I wouldn't as I'm not a cheat....

@Kumali I feel exactly the same! Everyone is getting on my nerves (other than you guys). Its like you've broke up, move on now, as if it's that easy.

Like you, I've had previous break ups, but nothing has hurt like this, I thought he was the one, maybe the other I didnt think they were.

I'm struggling with I'm sat here now flopping about, and have it in my head hes having the best time ever, and I havent even crossed his thoughts.

I’ve never had a break up before and to be fair I think I’ve coped rather well but my god it hurts so fucking much. Banging headache today so not helping my mood. Just want to get home and watch bake off...there’s a contestant from our holiday destination tho. And his mum is an amateur baker so it’ll make me think of him but damn it, he’s not ruining bake off for me!

We will beat this tho! This time next year we will he like oh wow, I was so sad and look at me now, all happy and shit

Same about not feeling like this before, but then I've never been cheated on and left before!

Same here @jonsnowsghost, if we had de died the relationship was going no where and it was a amicable decision, then I think I would be coping, I would of accepted it had run its course. But I cant move away from the fact he cheated, and how many other times did he cheat and I never knew, that is that head fuck for me, the cheating and lying x

@mumcomehere exactly that. If it had run its course or if he'd just spoken about what was up it would have been better, bad but better than now

I'm fucking gagging to speak to him. One more week till my birthday and I start a new job on Monday. Can't wait to be busy. I really fucking hope he messages me - if he doesn't, I'll have to block him on everything because this is so painful. He'd rather be seeing what's out there than with me. I know I should move on fast but I really love him and he loved me? For god saaaakeeee when will I stop yo-yo'ing.

You don't have to move on fast, do it at your own speed.
I accidentally saw a post he posted on Instagram, they did go away this as I suspected. Even though i knew this it's made me feel so sad. They've not even been together that long and already off away together :(

Rebound relationships do not last, trust me. The excitement will fade and their bubble will pop!

You move on when you move on! Like obvs not good to wallow but don’t rush yourself either
I’m feeling a bit better again but it’s just constantly there in my mind

I'm gagging to talk to him like never before. I'm driving myself mad

I think because it doesn't feel like it's a rebound, because he left me for her, that I think it will last. Happy to be proven wrong though
I know all about the maddening urge to contact as well, it's almost all consuming. Always sat there at the back of my mind. No good will come from it though!

Just broken up with my boyfriend of 18 months. Lived together but I couldn’t carry on. He lost his job, drank heavily, had an awful temper but I loved him loads (he did have lovely qualities too but will make me cry if I start thinking about those!)
It was my decision to split and I know it’s the right choice so why does it still hurt so bad?!
Sorry for all going through this pain and worse x

"Tough times don't last, tough people do."

My grandad said this to me earlier and it really got me
Pink sorry to hear you feel shit as us, well done for making such a tough decision

Thank you so much Tinsel. I’ve hardly slept all night. Why can’t we fast forward time?!

Love that quote, I’ll keep thinking of that to get me through work today!

Yes well done Pink, it must be very hard when there are good things as well.

Last night dreamed we were in his car and I suddenly realised there was going to be a tsunami so I was like OMG drive! So we drove to this field that had a lion in it (of course) and then he turned into Zac Efron as Troy Bolton from High School Musical and we duetted, which I so wish I could tell him about! Zac was still really skinny in HSM so my tall, beardy, chubby, Pakistani ex who can’t sing turned into a skinny white boy serenading me. Amazing. He then (still Zac) asked me to get back together. Later on in another dream was with him again but he was himself again and he got really serious and said oh is it ok if I only spent half of the bank holiday with you? And I was like oh did you forget you broke up with me? and he was like no I didn’t forget
And then a huge wave came and swept me off my feet and distracted us. Can’t remember what happened after that. So waves featured heavily! (We do live at the seaside). So not very exciting dreams but enough to make me feel a bit down now seeing as we are not back together and I haven’t spoken to him in just under a month.

Also yesterday I felt rough as heck, today I’ve woken up feeling ok but had it in my head I wouldn’t be going to work today so now I’m like oh...ok....

I feel slightly better with the thought that the pic I saw last night was of the beach, fair enough they went to the beach together but that's what we had planned to do...use some imagination with your new gf 🙄

He messaged my mum asking if I still jad his jeans. He never wore jeans unless we were going out on a date which means he's either going out or planning to go out and I'm sitting here with my 16 month old DS wondering if our six year relationship meant anything to him at all.

Absolutely devastated today

I'm feeling empty, I need to stop the thinking and over analysing, it's not doing me any favours, but I cant move on from the fact he cheated lied, I must sound like a broken record lol.

Jonsnow, cheats and liars dont have imaginations :)

MissYeti I would shred the Jean's then hand them over, but that's just me

Herb, dreaming of waves means emotions, so that fits perfectly. I dont mean to pry but do you think his culture or religion had something to do with him breaking up with you?

I feel so lonely.

mumcomehere he says no and I believe he means that, but I do wonder if subconsciously it did - we knew it would be a bit of an issue getting his family to be ok with us so wonder if subconsciously he knew he didn’t love me enough to go through that.

Tbh tho as much as I keep looking for reasons, I don’t think there really are any. I think it was a cliched “first love” relationship that ran its course and when it stops hurting, I’ll be able to see that and appreciate the relationship for what it was.

Ha I suppose he doesnt! I can't get over it either, just the hurt of being replaced, them commenting on each others stuff on social media (which is how I saw the post, he'd liked her comment) all stuff that we should have been doing. It's not fair.

Like we were talking about going to the beach literally a few months ago as we both had a few holiday days left to use up. In fact the day he told me about it all I'd text him that morning saying I had more days left than expected so we should have a long weekend away :(
I miss him so much, it's so bad. Still waiting to here from the councellor, I wish they'd get back to me sooner!

That is really horrible jonsnow I can imagine how much you must be hurting.

I’m feeling really low about it today, seem to have gone back a few steps.

I'm also a few steps back. Meeting a friend (who I'm not THAT close to so she won't quite get it) for the lunch and the bloody place she's pocked happens to be a few doors down from where he and his dad will be working.

I'm so not ready to see him. It's been just under a month since we last spoke and with my birthday next week I wanted a nice breezy conversation but I feel like if I see him I'll fully melt!! Ahhfhdhdhdh hope I don't