Dating thread 167: Help, I need somebody - but not just anybody

[CassettesAreCool]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

I liked it because it gave a percentage match so I only looked at 80% plus. Mr T and I were 86% if I remember correctly

@lifegoes that's how I feel about it. Getting myself back on to it again but it is going through the motions again and starting over with the awkward openings. Haven't tried OK Cupid so might give that a go. Hopefully end up taking to someone who when they suggest meeting up actually mean it rather then suggest and dissappear. Which is a shame cause he seemed a nice guy, lots in common but oh well.. Things happen.

I've just had a 50 minute chat with MrAd on the phone. He's bloody lovely and has a really good accent. Meeting for dinner tomorrow 😊

Sounds great @Sunshineandflipflops...fingers crossed he's good medicine for MrSAS

I tried OkCupid 18 months or so ago and I liked the format. The questions raised interest and allowed conversations to get started, and the matching system was good too. It just didn’t seem to have many profiles in my area. Despite all that it did set me on the road to something that still (thankfully) lives on as my worst date ever and I committed a huge messaging faux-pas on there which even today makes me cringe with shame. I can’t go back

Chatting with someone who disappears at about 9.30pm every night, apparently he "needs a lot of sleep", so I have my doubts, considering I'm feeling well rested if I sleep midnight to 6am, if we got together I'd be just getting settled in for the evening and he'd be wanting his bed. Major issue or not really?

@HairyArsedMan I'm intrigued as to what your faux pas was. I only messaged 2 people on there one of which was Mr Tall. I must admit it was my last chance saloon as if that was unsuccessful was going to come away as it was doing my head in. I think Mr Tall messaged me within a day or 2 of me being on there and the rest is history

I’ve just signed up to OKCupid, change of app hopefully change of luck! But how does it work? If I right swipe how do they match?

Originally maybe he just needs something to stay awake for

Hairy cmon we all need to know now!!

@Originallymeonly this probably says I've been OLD too long and am cynical rather than anything else but - no texting at weird times to me always rings a little alarm bell re: not being quite so single

I like okcupid. In fact I met my daughters dad on there years ago but I've noticed there really isn't many people on there and I'm in a city.....I suspect the advent of 'easier' platforms like tinder drew a lot of people in

He's really nervous about tonight, bless him. Says he couldn't sleep 😊

I'm a mediator too hairyarsed. My son was 98% introvert!!!

Going to ask Mr B to do the test. Night how explain him a bit more to me!!

I liked OKC too. I liked the fact that you could see how they'd answered questions - a useful sorting tool lol Hairy you can't drop that in and then not say any more!!

I quite enjoyed getting my flirt on on the apps. And I was always quite happy to initiate conversations. I'm very chatty IRL (am I changing people's perceptions of introverts?!) so I really liked that bit ...

Have a lovely evening tonight Sunshine it sounds like you'll have good fun whatever comes of it.

does Okcupid take a long time to register? sounds like loads of questions!

Thanks @Ant330 😊

Re the dating apps, I found that Pof took ages to register and it asked questions I just don't think you need to be answering on a dating app (whether your parents are still together, how many siblings, etc) I actually found it quite intrusive.

I had a quick 'go' on Ok Cupid and wasn't keen, Match was ok but you have to pay and most people on there are on the free sites anyway so I've usually ended up on Bumble/Tinder!

@supercali77 I thought that too but was wondering if I was just being a little paranoid. If he says he can only meet up on the way home from work or can't have me back to his place...

As an E woman i'd like to come back to the E = alpha thing to say that, particularly in men, I find Is to be some of the most genuinely alpha guys out there. I doesnt mean pathetic, just quiet. Men can be very quietly confident and steadfast and thats what i find attractive. I'm loud-confident, always gotta give my opinion etc. Is ground me, remind me to chill, balance me out. I learnt a lot about the value of NOT speaking from my INTJ husband.

@Originallymeonly he's in a relationship run now

@Notcoolmum Not sure how old your son is but when I first did these tests as a new grad at a Big Corp I was strongly introverted but that has changed lots over 28 years.
I’m struggling with telling the full detail of my idiocy on OkCupid as you know, it could’ve been one of you, or a thread reader. But here goes, with not all the details ...

I saw a profile photo with two women in it, one of whom appeared to me to be a famous, funny and quite off the wall lady that Graham Norton is very fond of having on his sofa, and the other seemed very attractive, same age as me, and we’d matched at 98% level. So I popped off a message, referencing the funny, off the wall lady and asking how my 98% match had encountered her ...

Well, turned out the owner of the profile turned out to be the lookalike of said famous, funny and quite off the wall lady.

This thread really skips along sometimes..

whatwhywhen I can't quite believe what you went through with that guy! If someone had revealed something so personal to me, I think I'd just give them a hug. What a huge prick.

Aleesha1 Welcome! you sound like someone I had been PM-ing to a couple of weeks ago....

Had my date with Miss Old. Turns out her profile picture was taken quite a while ago.. Why do people do that? Still, we had a drink in a nice pub garden, and a good chat, but I don't think I'll be taking things any further.

Salsa class is going well, although there doesn't seem to be any single women in the class . I'm apparently doing quite well for my second lesson, but I still feel like an elephant trying to balance on an egg...

hairy whoops! How did she respond - surely that sort of thing must happen to her a lot?

So with okcupid how do you get the messages. It says I have them but can't find them 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Aleesha1 it's quite quick. Only a few questions.