Dating thread 167: Help, I need somebody - but not just anybody

[CassettesAreCool]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@morenicecereal I didn't spend any time at all today wondering what I would buy Mr Us parents for Christmas and if they have any Christmas traditions or games

I haven't even met him yet

I also didn't wonder when I move in with him if we'd get a dog or a cat. I decided we'd get both

I have a bad head 🤕
Maybe a booze free date with the other guy isn't a bad idea...
I'm going to name him as we're going to go out. He is MrAd.

Looking forward to an interesting 10 day hoilday ..have 2 books to read .. He just not into you and it's only dating........ Mrnicecar declared his mental health isn't great so he needs to take a break but is still on Pof.. oh well good luck .

I know I know!!

I'm going to calm the fuck down I promise.

Yeah me too. Was slightly pissed last night.

Have a good holiday @mrscookie

Gin and sunshine - lol, we've all been there. Bacon sarnie?

notmrscookie - have a great holiday and enjoy the therapy reading!
morenicecereal - calmed down yet? Lol. It's nice to get carried away sometimes, it's 'hope' and we all need that.

@TooOldForThis67 I am dreaming of a bacon sarnie but I have porridge...

@Sunshineandflipflops your evening sounds like a tonic!
I'm having a cull today of conversations that are going nowhere and resolving not to check in on the apps till after the weekend. I can get obsessive and it's sunny out there - I want to remember to stop and enjoy our one wild and precious life.

Aww shitwith that's lovely!

shitwith it would be boring if you were the same person. Some differences are fine. And, like you say, you agree on the important things and have shared principles. Your characters are aligned. Your personalities are different. Sounds good to me 👍

@shitwithsugaron I agree with @Notcoolmum. You are different people and are going to have different opinions on some things but like you say, as long as the important things are aligned, that's all that matters.

Mr Dog from last night just messaged to say he had a nice night but felt the chemistry wasn't there for anything more than friends. So glad he did it first and I feel exactly the same way. We have agreed we'd be happy to meet up as friends sometime as we live near each other.

I think liking different books and different music is fine, it's if only one of you likes reading a book and the other thinks it's a waste of time that you have an issue?
My subscription to dating app runs out next week, and based on the yield so far, I think I'd get a better rate of return spending the money at Lovehoney... Or is this just a dip?

I've never paid for a dating app meonly so you can spend your cash at Love Honey and still be on the apps.

We stayed up chatting until after 1am and even in my sleepy stupor I am still overly invested. In spite of my promise to myself and the thread. Oops.

We've only been chatting for a few days, so at least I can decide tonight if it's worth my time and energy. Waiting a couple of weeks would have been a bit if a nightmare.

One of the best pieces of advice I've gleaned from this thread is to meet up as soon as possible. Texting is very different from face to face chat. Good example is Mr Nice, who is not particularly effusive via text, but we met face to face for a short time as I passed thru his town visiting friends, and he's really lovely actually.

Managed to rebook a different sitter for tomorrow so I'll see how the land lies after this weekend.

Morning all ... some happy vibes on here this morning. I seem to have narrowed my irons down to 3 after letting other conversations fizzle out. Unfortunately the one I like the most lives miles away and hasn't suggested meeting up yet (and logistically I can see why as we are both single parents, work full time, super busy). He is going on holiday soon so might see whether or not he makes a move when he gets back. Amazing how few of the people I've been chatting to live near me. I live in a huge city FFS, surely everyone within 10 miles of me isn't married or hideous? Or a toyboy?

How far away are you lot prepared to consider travelling for dates?

MrAd lives about 30 miles away and we have tentatively agreed to meet half way but he said something quite deep and has now gone quiet and my last message hasn't been delivered so no idea what's going on there.

My search filter is 30 miles. I was chatting to someone who lives 50 miles away, which is about 50 mins door to door. I was worried it was too far. I prefer the distance to be less than 30 mins

My search filter was set to about 25 miles but hasn't seemed to work! As in people from much further away still messaged until I hid my profile and just favourited the ones I liked. There is one I am messaging within 5 miles of me but he is far too handsome for POF so imagine he's inundated! He's not suggested meeting yet and imagine I'm one of many... perhaps I'm on a reserve list

Mr S lived in the next big city to me. An hour's drive away. It was fine although he did most of the travelling. I did drive to his a few times and it wasn't a big deal. I wouldn't want to date anyone further away than that. Or be the one doing all the travelling. He was always happy to travel to nearer me. Which did mean he wouldn't drink unless we had a hotel booked.

Gone onto bumble this morning to reply to the bloke I was chatting to yesterday to see I've been unmatched. Sigh.