Dating thread 167: Help, I need somebody - but not just anybody

[CassettesAreCool]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@Ginmel Yeah, I noticed it last time I was on the apps. Everyone starts thinking about settling in with cappuccinos and rosy cheeked women haha

FUCK OFF...seriously!?!?!?!

Hi all - just been reading your updates and trying to learn from you all and your collective wisdom! I have hidden my POF profile as I was getting overwhelmed with crap (because I'm new on site I am guessing) and a lot of toyboys (which was tempting but only for about 2 minutes because I have nephews older than some of them so ... eww).

Chatting to a few irons who divide into two categories - hot ones who are happy to chat away to me but have not suggested meeting yet and a couple who are less hot (not awful, I did match with them, just average) but more a meeting of minds. They are both really keen to meet but I don't have any time for the next couple of weeks. And both live around 30/40 miles away, and I think I just like them as friends, and I have friends already, so feeling ambiguous. Have suggested I phone them after the Bank Holiday to see how we get on. Am moving very cautiously on this! I will name them after I've spoken to them I think...

Also, the one guy I did like on both levels kept arranging to phone and then cancelling so I deleted him, re-reading the rules and remembering I am the prize! So thank you.

I feel like I'm just playing at this - it's like when you are at the side of a pool on holiday and steeling yourself to jump in. I'm talking to people and then when they suggest meeting I'm like 'WTF do you think this is, a dating site?? ... Oh.... ... '

In my defence I've not dated for 21 years. This is just weird.

Stealthninjamum I am also a goat. You have reminded me I would need to find tweezers before meeting anyone for coffee. Another hassle

WhatWhyWhen I am in awe of you - that is a level of spontaneity I can only dream of. Hope you had a good time!

Good luck to all who have dates this weekend!

@Sunshineandflipflops I would just ask about meeting. No point in endless messaging if he no intention of meeting you.

@whatwhywhen what a great update. Hope you manage to meet him again

I've deleted it! I didn't like it anyway, it was like high velocity dating nightmare

OMG just read shitwithsugaron's comment about Badoo. If that happened to me I would DIE - I haven't told my teenage kids or ex (or anyone apart from some close girlfriends and you lot) that I am doing this! Aaaagh!!!!

@shitwithsugaron hahahaha it's ok, i've never done account>settings>delete so fast in my life before. Your ex must have been mortified.

@EchoElephant I've sent the 'would you like to meet up sometime' message! Not sure I've ever done that before 🙈

@shitwithsugaron I totally would have but then I'm bitter and twisted!

He said yes! Phew!
Someone else has just messaged me on Tinder this morning but I'm struggling to cope with chatting to two men, let alone any more! I said a polite hi back but not going to be too forthcoming.

Haha shit that’s horrific I’d die!!

Ndotto just jump! The worst you get is a wasted evening, the best a lovely one.

Well MrRock is up and texting constantly and has said despite me being in bloody workwear with only the makeup I managed to nick from testers in Superdrug (that was my prep as I was there for a meeting!), he likes me, potato body, face, mind the lot 😬🙈 He’s like an Instagram worthy god body so it’s really eek! This is not my normal outcome!!

So I guess it’s on when he gets back.

Need to decide what to do with the lovely MrRugby I went out with and am supposed to be meeting again, and MrCuff I had a good phone call with and a date planned Friday. Feel guilty and have never multi dated, what are your rules??

@Sunshineandflipflops I've been chatting to several, although I feel like a proper terror I decided after my last FU i'm not putting all my eggs into one basketcase again.

@FMFL how's it going? have you deleted Mr Bucket from your phone and your head?

I can't usually cope with dating more than one at once, simply because I'm really time poor.

I will see how things go this weekend, though, because I quite like both of these fellas so far for different reasons.

I don't really mention other irons to each other, but I do talk about dating actively so they must realise.

WhatWhy this all sounds extremely exciting, squeee for you! HOWEVER, depending on how long Mr Rock is away I would just be a little bit cautious about overinvesting and binning off the other irons.

The guy I have just asked out doesn't drink. I don't have a problem with that but it's new to me and I am pretty well known for liking a glass or two of wine. Also, pretty much all of my first dates (and subsequent ones) have involved bars/pubs so I'm leaving it to him to think about what we'll do!

@supercali77 he’s gone from my phone so I can’t contact him; haven’t brought up the courage to block but may be a moot point! I’m still gutted but I’ll get over it. Out tomorrow night with friends so I’ll get a few pics dressed up and get back on the apps. Thank you.

@FMFL he'll be back, you can depend on it. Maybe not today or tomorrow....When he does (probably breezy, like no time has passed). Blockity block block. Yas! Get yourself out there

@Sunshineandflipflops Of the 3 guys I've properly liked on fab, 2 don't drink or v rarely. I haven't ever been out with a non drinker so it does feel a bit odd. They were still happy to meet in pubs and were still fine for me to drink.

@Ginmel I already checked he's ok with me drinking!

That's good.

As you may have guessed I quite like a drink too. I do enjoy sharing a bottle or two but nevermind...

Cassettes he’s only half an hour from me, just fluke we were both in London. But you are right. I overinvested before and it ends badly.

So no binning irons yet!