Dating thread 167: Help, I need somebody - but not just anybody

[CassettesAreCool]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

It's not me, it's him!! 😂😂

I know dreamy is such a cheesy word but that's what I would used to describe Mr U.
Someone slap me please

Lifegoes I think I'm clear on her in that I know what I'm dealing with and she now knows what I won't put up with.
I'm pretty sure we'll try again, I know she wants to, and I think I'd like to. I don't want to throw away something that feels great when we're together without trying.
However I'm still reasonably confident I'll be back with my tail between my legs saying "yes you were all right"
Ginmel just the one microphone? No. 😂

@Ginmel 🖐🏻 have a slap

@Ant330 I really didn't think you'd walk away from Miss H for reasons I said earlier. Whichever way it works out we will be here

Thank you @kermit I may go and write out the rules a few thousand times

Mr Rugby messaged me this evening. Quelle surprise.

Remembering the rules here and keeping things light and slightly arms length.

@Ant330 No judgement here...look at me and MrSAS! Didn't work out but I had to give it another go as I wasn't ready to walk away the first time. I am now though.

I don't know the full story @Ant330 so couldn't say either way. But you always come across as a man who is sensible and understands exactly is what he is doing. If you both want to give it a go and are both looking for the same thing, and on the same path. I think time why not, it's better to live a life of oh wells than what ifs. (Obv tho I don't know the full story)

Sunshine I may well be in a similar situation in that I don't think it will work out long term, but I love spending time with her so I'll take the risk of being hurt for the chance that it just might.
I think she's been so used to being on her own, that when things get difficult in her life (even if nothing to do with me) she just battens down the hatches and rides it out alone.
I hope I can get through to her that I might be able to help or at least be somebody she can talk to and share her problems with.

@Ant330 well if she doesn't relate that then she is a fool because you are lovely 😊

*realise

Need to catch up on the thread again!! It moves so fast!! I accidentally sent a thumbs up on messenger today to my ex, mr bald. We've then been chatting all day. Only very general and nothing about our relationship or anything like that but it was nice and made me realise again how I miss him. I was almost ready to delete the WhatsApp thread the other day but now I feel like I've taken 20 steps back. I just can't bring myself to delete or block. We've had a few messages since we split but they have been quite short and sharp but today he's been really chatty, engaging and clearly wanted to chat 😫😫

@ohhahhh789 why did you and mr bald end? And um...why the thumbs up? I once sent my daughters dad a thumbs up at 4am going home shitfaced in a cab from a party. He had the good grace to never mention it

@supercali77 we ended because he couldn't give me what I wanted...we were together two years. I wanted something more serious, he didn't. He says with me there was something missing but I don't know what. I wasn't enough for him. It didn't do my self esteem any good so I can't go back but I do still love him I think.
I didn't even mean to send him a message at all. I was in my messenger messages and must have knocked an message thread then the thumbs up button!! I didnt follow it up as I thought he'd just ignore it but he didn't.

@ohhahhh789 20 steps back I understand. It's why delete and block is so essential as shit as that might be to hear.....it doesnt change ime

I had a surprise date last night, maybe this is the thread of surprises and change not total destruction?? .

An unnamed Iron I’ll call him MrRock from a days chat on Bumble turned out to be in London yesterday as I was (not where we live).

So met up on a whim, got merry, went to a show, missed my last train home 😬 (childcare is going to KILL me) and ended up in a hotel .

He’s cool! Very funny, really thoughtful, unbelievably fit but doesn’t care I’m basically a sack of potatoes, made me feel awesome about my potatoiness. Same interests and, well, not much sleep.

Feel a bit bad I’ve broken my own no sex rule but it’s been a very very long time since I did the walk of shame 😂

@whatwhywhen spontaneity can be fab. Go you! Is it family child care so you can talk your way out?

No friends daughter I pay, she was ok to stay the night but had stuff to do this morning. I’ll pay double and take the kicking from my friend, it was an accident, missed it by 2 minutes!

Sounds like you spent your unexpected free time wisely though!

I have two dates this weekend, suddenly. Saturday night with Mr Joker, who I have only been messaging since night before last. But is is wickedly smart and very interesting, and I like his communication style. We are going out to dinner, which is actually a first for a first date for me. Hopefully the conversation continues to flow and things don't get awkward.

Sunday I'm meeting Mr Nice to go climbing. He was good to talk to face to face but is a little perfunctory over text. Keeping an open mind!

whatwhywhen fantastic update! Glad you got an itch scratched - any plans to meet with him again?do you both live locally?
A very belated happy birthday jesuis
Currently boarding ferry for trip away with friend and kids.
An old iron contacted me a few weeks ago propositioning me for a ménage a trois which I politely declined as very happy with bf (6 months together now).
And randomly an old iron's relative contacted me needing some help with an issue which I have hopefully managed to help them with. Long story but just interesting - small world and all that.

ant sounds like you're having a great lads holiday with your ds.would be the kind of holiday my exh would never do with our son but would be amazing if he could. 🤞 miss h doesn't mess you around again but we will all be here to support you if things go tits up again.

Hugs to all others struggling with OLD at the moment. Wishing positivity to the thread!

Yes he does Coco and I hope so! Well I’ll wait and see and if not then, we’ll at least I had a mad night for once

6 months settled! And two dates for More There are some lovely updates on this thread now!

@ant330 I completely understand that need to try again - when there's such a good chemistry you want to feel you've done everything before you let it go. If it goes wrong we'll be here and if it goes right we'll also be here hoping you turn the tone of the thread around!

@whatwhywhen brilliant update

Well I posted a few weeks ago about chin hairs having lost a million tweezers and I bought new super duper expensive ones which have now vanished again. Date night tonight, hope he doesn't notice he is dating a goat!

I've got no more dates planned until next week but have promised to take dc to the seaside this weekend even if it rains. I'm going to regret it aren't I? It's either traffic or rain.

Date tonight With Mr Dog.

Spent all of last night chatting to the other guy with the same name who lives further away (30 miles) and he's so easy to chat to and laugh with, which is what I need right now.

He's away this weekend but he hasn't mentioned meeting up yet. Do I risk rejection and ask him or just wait? Maybe I should wait until I see how tonight's date goes first...

Is it cuffing season yet? I noticed they're all matching and chatting at the mo. Or is it just a natural wave.

I also went on Badoo....bit of a shit show eh? I might come off

Haha @supercali77 I'd never heard of cuffing season before

I had wondered if it was a Christmas/NY thing. Weather turned a bit colder which made people realise they didn't want to be alone for the festivities. Either way maybe that turn of cool weather and the nights getting darker has helped.