Dating thread 167: Help, I need somebody - but not just anybody

[CassettesAreCool]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@bats good find 😉 It's proved to be a good indicator for me too.

Quick tinder question- what's the etiquette with messaging? I've got matches, am I supposed to message first?! I thought it was Bumble where the woman had to message first!

I'm learning so much today! Thank you Simon about the clenching. Re the bullets in the gun - there's only so much time the target is going to stick around before it gets bored, IME, so take aim while you can I say. And I had never understood before why some men like long hair. Personally, any man who tries it on with me against a wall or a door will receive a punch in the face, so that maybe explains why my hair has always been short! But if we were all the same, how boring life would be.

@KeepCalmCarryOhFuckIt personally I dont. Any time I have it goes nowhere. Keep in mind a lot of men swipe right on everyone or with very little filter. Some will message a day or even a week later

Thanks supercali that's helpful! I'll keep swiping and see if I hear anything. I'm laughing remembering on the other thread the tiger/crocodile/fish poses as there actually is so many!

Ha cassettes that made me laugh! Good job we’re not all the same. My legs go to jelly with some wall action!

So one of my unnamed wants to phone interview tonight. I have already drank a bottle of wine 🙈 I have never done phone before and I’m nervous and I’m watching OITNB. How can I get out of it without losing him? Or do I just do it? He is off fab but actually seems pretty decent

Malbs my unnamed wants to as well tonight 😂

I’ve just said I have to sort for a big meeting tomorrow but can later (true) if it’s not too late. Just say that’s be lovely but you have x to do and do it tomorrow sober!!

Oh but do do it, I always phone if I can because it often doesn’t work and you haven’t wasted a date!

Video chat too

@marlbs just do it. You seem to be making enough sense here.

I’m not fucking video chatting whatwhy. I’m in my make jimjams and have a red wine moustache 😂

Right I’ve said I’m free to chat. Wish me luck troops 🤞

Supercali why wouldn't I message if they've viewed me? Because I assume they either aren't confident enough to message first, in which case they're not for me, or they didn't like what they saw so why bother.

Haha well if he doesn’t want you at your worst...

Good luck!!

I've never been asked for a phone interview! I would find it really awkward talking to someone I didn't know on the phone...much easier in person.

It seems this is the thread of doom as Mr Chips has now gone quiet on me

I’ll be gutted if he calls it off/ghosts me as he’s the first guy I’ve been really into in a long time and is pretty much everything I’m looking for 😢

Mr Rugby and I started off by sending little voice clips back and forth on WhatsApp (I often do this because people are interested in my accent) and I kept laughing at his messages and wanted a proper conversation. It wasn't awkward because it sort of developed organically.

Ok, POF question. Some messages I am receiving don't show the full message and I can't seem to click on them or anything so see it all? The messages are cut off half way through?

morenice I keep meaning to try that. Voice clips I think would give a better idea of someone than messages!

Interview done. It went ok. I’m not put off. We chatted for 20 mins. It wasn’t awkward at all. He wants casual but I’d open to more for the right person and he would prefer to find one person exclusively to be casual with than many. We will see. If I can get a sitter I am seeing him next week (unless he was put off by my gruff voice 😂) I shall call him Mr Suit

*he would be open to more

Feeling the thread of doom, stupidly got my hopes up far too early and yeah feeling I'm putting far too much effort in for a one word reply.
Now feeling sorry for myself as cant find a man, just feel like this is it. I know I'm not that old (thirty) but feel like this is my life and whilst it's not bad, I get jealous of everyone having someone else to turn to and treating me like bridget Jones. Sorry for the rant.

@disposableplates it’s rubbish isn’t it I’m late 20s and everyone is settling down and having kids etc and I feel very left behind! I really could see it going somewhere with mr chips as well, feeling very down about it tonight

@sparkles57 he was the first guy in ages I actually liked. I knew he was brand new to where I live and has a new job this week but I hate being messed about.
Oh totally I'm just feeling totally left behind and wondering what I did wrong. Not that any of my exes are suitable. But now been properly single for three years and watched all my friends get married it makes me question myself.

I may as well join the thread of doom. Still chatting to Mr Irish but it's early days....feeling crap as my house sale has fallen through and my son was banned from holiday club today so feeling like a crap parent. It is days like today a hug with someone special goes a long way x

A new iron rang me today. No warning. No arrangement. I just stared at my phone screen until it stopped!!

And I've just had phone interview number 2 with Mr F. I don't think we will ever meet as our diaries don't seem to match.

I think I am going to start filling the thread of doom up with random, inane comments. Only another 651 messages to go. I really don't want to get dumped.

And here's another one.