Dating thread 167: Help, I need somebody - but not just anybody

[CassettesAreCool]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

ant I meant use it as an excuse to clear your head. But if you are happy with it then that's fine of course 👍

Glad your having a wicked time ant you really deserve it!

Go sunshine

One of my newbies has asked me out but we cannot arrange a date around my children and his work. If I can organise a sitter for next week I shall name him!

Mr Luigi has finally asked me out but he lives some distance and has his kids 50/50. We have arranged a date in a week and a half’s time 🙈

Tomorrow was a Mr Big night ☹️ My kids are away. None of my irons are free. My friends are all busy with their family’s

@Sunshineandflipflops @shitwithsugaron It’s fairly common for guys not to finish, or finish without ejaculating.

Notcoolmum, that‘s exactly it. I know I should have let the first one go at the beginning, yet I am also glad I persevered as we had amazing times, though I am now broken-hearted. Clearly I should apply the lesson learnt to the second guy re last night. Not my circus. Hard (!) though, he‘s nice too.

Yes what @notcoolmum said ant

@SimonJT Is it really? I've never come across it before (pun not intended) 😂

I don't know how people ever meet anyone through POF. I've tried it a couple of times now and I just get messages from weirdos or guys that just don't fit my criteria AT ALL!

@Sunshineandflipflops theres a lot of chaff. The occasional bit of wheat comes along though. I log on once a day, browse a bit and then log off.

My only tip for POF. Search with the advanced criteria. Look through, if you see someone you like look at their profile but dont message. Keep going until you get bored. People see who looks at them, some of those will message. Voice saved yourself time and the thinking up of openers. Sorry men....I realise this is horribly lazy

@supercali77 Isn't the advanced criteria if you pay?
Also, I've gone for the option of hiding whether guys can see you've looked at their profile!

Seriously Simon? I've never heard of that before either. Sometimes FWB doesn't finish, I always assume it's because he takes so long to recover he is holding back until the end of that session.

@Sunshineandflipflops on the desktop you can click 'refine search' and select things like size (thin average etc) academic stuff. What you can do is switch on your visibility for while you're doing this and then switch it off later if you want to go incognito cruising 1😂. To me it's the equivalent of giving a slightly long gaze at a bar

No I dont pay and I can get to that. I think if you pay you can select more

Supercali I wouldn't message someone who'd looked at my profile but hadn't messaged me.
I find POF a bit shit compared to Tinder and Bumble. I'll search and message anybody I like, but it probably takes 40+ swipes before I get to anybody appealing.

Me too @Ant330. I counted yesterday and stopped counting at 50 left swipes in a row on Tinder!

@Ant330 why wouldn't you? Even if attracted (Curious)

@supercali77 I used to get loads of messages on Match from men whose profiles of looked at but sometimes it was accidental and other times I knew I wasn't interested as soon as I clicked on them so the "hey, thanks for checking out my profile" messages did my head in and out me off viewing profiles!

@CassettesAreCool Sometimes you stop it on purpose by clenching, other times it just doesn’t happen, especially if you’ve had a few already. A gun can only hold so many bullets.

Had lunch with MrNN today, actual lunch though, he thinks it’s funny that I’m shitting my pants about Saturday. He is a wind up merchant, as is FB, so I have a feeling I’ll be picked on this weekend 😂

Obviously that should be BF, not fb.

A gun can only hold so many bullets.
One of my favourite lines ever on here, as true as it is.

@Sunshineandflipflops ah yeah you have to be very sure what you're doing before you click it

Ginmel loved the one about the hair - that's (TMI alert!) Mr BC exactly. He's a keeper 😍

Autumn I don't think you need to go younger - I'm 55 and have dtd with men my age and older who've had no ED issues. I think if there are issues a willingness to do something about it is key though.

Ant enjoy your holiday.

I had a relationship of over a year with someone I met on POF - I found the chaff level the same as Tinder to be honest!

Ok you’re right, I’ll move on and just weather the urge to think/memories hate this disconnecting bit!!

I’ve never tried POF worth it? Use Bumble and Tinder mainly but messaging is so sporadic.

@WhatWhyWhen easiest option. Delete the chat the number everything. Remove the urge